Having people who look up to you is one of the best feelings in the world.
It’s also a big responsibility: after all, you become a role model and guide for those who admire you.
However, sometimes it’s not obvious that people admire you.
Here’s how to tell when somebody is looking up to you without you realizing it.
11 signs someone secretly admires you
1) They’re always trying to catch your eye
One of the top signs someone secretly admires you is that they’re always trying to catch your eye.
They make eye contact whenever possible and then they hold it a bit longer than the average person.
If they’re shy about their admiration for you, then they may look away after a while of you meeting their gaze.
As The Power of Positivity notes:
“The person who admires you will watch you every time you walk into the room.
“They may smile or try to catch your eye. They’ll attempt to say hello as you walk by their desk.
“During the day, when you look up from your computer, you’ll notice they’re staring at you.”
Whether it’s at work, in your personal life or among family and friends, this admiration will become evident by the person seeking out eye contact.
Even without speaking, it becomes clear that they want to look at you.
The reason is usually that they secretly admire you and want to be around you.
2) They do thoughtful things for you quite often
There’s one thing I always remember about people I’ve admired growing up and in young adulthood: I wanted to do nice things for them.
I went out of my way to help them out and do thoughtful favors for them.
Whether this was just offering to give them a ride somewhere, giving advice in any way I could or opening a door for them, I was there.
Opening a door can even count in this regard…
What matters here is the intention.
And when someone secretly admires you they want to make your life easier and show you in their own small way that they appreciate you and care about you.
If somebody is doing this for you then there’s a high chance that they secretly admire you and want to do thoughtful things for you whenever they can.
3) They agree with and appreciate the things you say
If you’re looking for signs someone secretly admires you, look no further than their appreciation for what you say.
Especially in this day and age, it’s hard to find an agreeable conversation without running into controversial or emotionally charged topics.
“How dare you say that about the pandemic?”
“Why did you get the vaccine are you crazy?”
“Why didn’t you get the vaccine, are you crazy?”
“Do you even understand what climate change is, bro?”
It’s a rough world out there for pleasant conversations, that’s for sure…
So when you find that rare person who’s on your side or at least appreciates what you say even when they don’t agree, it’s a pleasant change.
When someone secretly admires you they will seek to amplify your voice.
Even if they think you’re wrong about something, they’ll be likely to try to discover why you would say that.
Your secret admirer will be likely to give you the benefit of the doubt about your intentions and motivations for holding certain positions, no matter how unpopular.
4) They want to make you laugh and gain your appreciation
We all like to laugh, and a secret admirer likes to be the source of that laughter for the person they admire.
If somebody is frequently joking around you and watching for your reaction then there’s a good chance they secretly admire you.
Everybody has a different sense of humor that gets them LOLing, so this shy fan may be insecure at first.
But as they see that you appreciate their jokes they will ramp up, getting a bit more risque and going on the edge to make you laugh harder.
We all love somebody who makes us laugh, and the secret admirer wants you to feel affection towards them.
That’s why they tell jokes and bring up funny anecdotes around you.
Let the good times roll!
5) They avoid you and seem embarrassed around you
There are few signs someone secretly admires you more surprising than the fact that they may actually avoid you.
If there’s someone who acts strange around you but there’s no reason you can see why then it could be that they secretly admire you but are shy about it.
The difference between someone who just dislikes you and someone who admires you is that the admirer will show certain clues that they’re avoiding you for positive reasons.
- Smiling shyly at you
- Doing nice things for you on the down-low
- Saying good things about you behind your back
- Wanting to talk to you but then stammering or clamming up when they start to do so
These are all signs that this individual secretly admires you but is having trouble breaking the ice.
6) They smile at you for real
Another one of the top signs someone secretly admires you is that they smile at you for real.
The difference between a real smile and a fake smile can be hard to spot.
But if you know the science behind it, it’s as clear as day.
As Nick Bastion observes, one of the top signs somebody doesn’t like you is a fake smile:
“A smile is a subconscious reaction to seeing someone or something you like. A sincere one can’t be faked.
“Guillaume Duchenne, a French neurologist explains that fake smiles are accomplished with using entirely different muscles than real smiles.
“A real smile causes us to use the muscles around our eyes called the orbicularis oculi.”
7) They ask around about you to your friends
Another one of the top signs someone secretly admires you is that they ask around about you to your friends.
They may not want to show their interest right out front, but it’s very much real and active.
So they turn to those who know you best:
Your work colleagues, friends, family and even casual acquaintances.
They want whatever chunks of information or unique insights and oddities they can uncover about you.
You’re like a glistening prize to them.
And while this kind of idealization can be confusing and a bit bizarre if you’re the object of it, it’s also flattering in its way.
8) They’re your number one social media follower
One of the clearest signs someone secretly admires you is that they’re very active in liking your social media posts.
“Not only will your secret admirer follow you on all your social media sites, but they will like everything you post,” notes The Power of Positivity.
“They’ll be the first ones to like your posts, adding cute smiley faces or thumbs up.”
If you’re into them too, then this is a welcome development.
If you’re not into them, then it can become stalkerish.
The distinction mainly lies in how you feel about them and in the nature of their social media interactions.
If they’re demanding responses from you and reactions of some kind to every like and comment they post, then it can become toxic.
However, if they’re just low-key showing their appreciation then it can actually be nice to know that somebody cares about you and likes what you post.
9) They’re very curious about your life and beliefs
When somebody looks up to you, they want to know all they can about you and what drives you.
They will ask about your core values and life whenever they can.
They want to know what made you the man or woman you are today and the forces that shaped you.
They will enjoy everything they learn about you.
On the downside, if you’re not into them this can come across as pushy and annoying.
On the upside, if you are into them then this interest can be refreshing, particularly when it leads to the person also opening up about themselves and their background.
Look for this sign if you’re trying to find out if someone secretly admires you.
They may just be an overall curious person, true.
But if that curiosity is piqued in particular around you, then it could be a sign that they have a special admiration and interest in you.
10) They want to get – and hold – your attention
The bottom line about somebody who secretly admires you is that they want to get and hold your attention, but they don’t want to be overly obvious in doing so.
For one reason or another, they are downplaying their interest in you and affection for you.
For this reason, they will go about getting your attention and approval in various more subtle ways.
This can include low-key compliments, putting in a good word for you at work, or covering for you when you’re sick or unwell.
The kind actions of the admirer are often done in ways that seem easygoing but are actually very thoughtful and helpful in retrospect.
The secret admirer wants to make your life better and wants you to notice that they are, but they also don’t want the spotlight.
They are often also torn by a fear of rejection if you find out that they like you but don’t share their interest.
As dating coach Tarquez Bishop advises:
“He’ll be doing extra things he wouldn’t do for anyone else, acting different, putting a higher premium on her attention.
“He’ll treat her like she’s slightly better and more interesting than everyone else.”
There are some signs someone secretly admires you that are just too obvious to ignore.
11) They love talking to you about anything under the sun
When we don’t like someone then there’s nothing more annoying than being around them and talking to them.
When we do like someone it’s the opposite.
Talking to them and being around them is a privilege and a joy.
We seek them out and want to be around them and chat, because their words and just their presence itself fills us with pleasure and a feeling of togetherness.
This is why the secret admirer will go out of his or her way to talk to you.
They care more about what’s on your mind than what’s on somebody else’s mind.
They want to hear your thoughts and share in your emotions and observations because they think highly of you and care about the way you perceive the world and interpret it.
Who do you admire?
Who – and what – do you admire?
It’s a question well worth asking.
For many of us, it might be our parents, our significant other, or the friends and colleagues who mean the most to us on the journey of life.
Knowing that somebody secretly admires us can be a big ego boost.
It’s a good chance to reflect on who we also admire in our lives and the ways in which showing our appreciation can give them a much needed self-esteem boost as well.
It’s so reassuring to find out that you’re not invisible.
Many of us go through this modern high-tech age in social media echo chambers and feel invisible and unappreciated, with our humanity slipping away.
A simple act of appreciation from a secret admirer can help turn all that around.
It lets you know that you do belong, you are wanted, your contributions do matter, and you’re right where you need to be.
This is exactly what so many of us need to know in our current fractured world: everything is going to be OK and you do matter.
Basking in the appreciation
All of us want to be admired and looked up to.
It’s a natural human instinct to feel good when people show us that we matter, that we are appreciated and that we are accepted.
If someone secretly admires you then it can be like a slowly-blooming flower.
Their good energy surrounds you and makes the days go by more sweetly.
You let the connection keep growing and it becomes a wonderful part of your life.
“If he or she wants to leave a good, long-lasting impression by sounding enthusiastic, inquisitive, and jolly, it’s a dead giveaway that this person likes your company and cares about your impression of him or her.”