19 signs she is losing interest in you (and what to do to fix it)

Feeling like your partner is losing interest in you can push you into full-on panic mode.

But before you jump to conclusions, try and see your relationship from her perspective.

Women aren’t aliens.

Whilst they might seem difficult to understand, any partner will prove difficult unless you take the time to communicate and work through issues, incorporating both of your viewpoints.

If you want your partner to really love you, then you need to know what is going on in her head.

That means reflecting and then communicating with her; working through the issue together or leaving the relationship.

Here are 15 signs she is losing interest in you and how you might approach each one:

1) She’s taking her time to respond to your texts or calls

If your partner is taking a long time to respond to your texts or calls, then she might be losing interest in you.

It could be a sign that she doesn’t find you interesting anymore and that she no longer values your time.

Perhaps you’ve had an argument and she’s giving you the silent treatment.

However, if you haven’t been arguing and she’s just blatantly ignoring your calls and texts, it’s a big sign that she’s losing interest in you.

Obviously the best way to figure out what’s going on would be an honest heart to heart talk to get to the bottom of why she’s being so distant.

2) She’s no longer as excited about seeing you

Remember back in the day when she couldn’t contain her excitement when she laid her eyes on you?

Honeymoon phase over!

If your partner is no longer as excited about seeing you, then she might be losing interest in you.

It’s a sign that she doesn’t find your presence as exciting anymore, so she is no longer looking forward to spending time with you.

However, there may be other factors at play. She might be busy, or you two might have become so codependent and spend every minute attached at the hip that she has no room to even seem excited.

Reflect on the reasons for the change in her behavior and invite her into the conversation so you can work through this together.

Why not give Rudá Iande’s free Love and Intimacy Masterclass a go?

A world renowned shaman who has helped thousands navigate romantic relationships and better understand their partners, his class pushes you to actually reflect on where you stand with your partner. 

I know my boyfriend sure didn’t get where I was coming from, but having worked through the exercises together, I can safely say that we both have a far better idea of how the other thinks and what they want.

Click here to access the free masterclass for yourself.

Once you’ve tried out the class, consider what fun things you can do together and invest in new experiences to reignite the spark so that you can both can get excited about spending time with each other again.

3) She’s not as interested in sex

If your partner is no longer interested in having sex with you, it could be a sign that she’s losing interest in you.

Intimacy is important in a relationship and when this is lacking, it’s a red-flag altering you to the fact that things are going south.

It could also signal  that she feels like you are no longer as attractive to her and that she no longer finds your presence as exciting or pleasurable.

Or, she’s so stressed and overwhelmed to the point that her libido is suffering.

Or maybe she’s found somebody else?

Don’t jump to conclusions without asking her first.

If it is stress and life getting in the way, you being resentful and angry and cold-shouldering her will only drive her further away and spoil your relationship.

4) She’s not as excited about hanging out with you

If your partner is no longer as excited about hanging out with you she was in the past, then she might be losing interest in you.

Maybe she’s bored of doing the same thing over and over again, or maybe she just doesn’t have any interest in watching you play Call of Duty while she sits next to you on the couch in silence.

If you want to re-engage her attention, show her how much value she adds to your life.

You can do this by focusing on the things that make you appreciate spending time with her.

For example, plan a fun date night and give her your full attention. Phone and CoD get strictly sidelined for the evening.

This will make her feel more appreciated and consequently she will likely become more excited about spending time with you as you give her this quality time together.

5) She’s not as excited about kissing you

If your partner seems less interested in kissing you, it’s up to you to figure out why.

It could be something as simple as you having smelly breath, but, if you’ve ruled that one out and know it’s not the case, there’s a deeper issue.

It might be a sign that she doesn’t find you attractive anymore and that she no longer finds your lips desirable.

Do not attempt to force intimacy in someone who seems disinterested.

However, try taking the pressure off.

Give hugging and cuddling with her a go and then move in for a kiss when/if it feels right. 

Kissing is a very intimate action. Instead of going for the lips, plant a gentle kiss on her forehead and watch how she reacts.

6) She’s not as excited about hanging out with your friends

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If a woman stops being interested in the man that she’s dating and his friends it could mean one of two things: either he has lost her attraction or there are other factors at play.

She might have loved your friends when you first started dating but you’ve noticed that her interest in them and her enthusiasm for spending time with them has disappeared.

This can happen for many different reasons and there are no hard-and-fast rules to determine which reason applies to you.

She might be busy.

She might not like one of your friends.

She might not like you.

If this happens frequently enough it might indicate that something else is wrong, which should be addressed by both parties before any irreparable damage happens.

7) She’s never readily available for you

She’s always busy.

She’s working, or tired, or sick, or hanging with her friends.

It seems like she doesn’t have the time (or doesn’t want to) spend any time with you. 

But somehow, miraculously, she has all this time for other people.

This tends to be a sign that something else may be going on with her feelings for you.

It might mean that she has met someone else, or that she has other things going on in her life and simply doesn’t have the time to give to you.

Either way, if this happens frequently enough, it can indicate that there are other issues at play and it might be a good idea to address them before they become bigger problems too.

8) She’s constantly disappointed with you

If your partner is constantly disappointed with you, then it could be a sign that she doesn’t feel like there are many things in her life to look forward to anymore.

Maybe you two have been dating for a good couple of months (or years), all her friends are getting engaged and married and here you two are. Still very much un-engaged.

She thinks it’s never going to happen, so she’s given up hope.

Maybe she feels as though the person who used to make her happy has stopped putting in effort and now she feels sad or bored.

It’s possible that if you’ve been together for some time now, something may have changed recently and the two of you aren’t connecting on an emotional level like before which causes these feelings of disappointment from one another.

If this happens, it is important to address the situation so that there isn’t any more damage done.

Maybe your relationship has come to a natural end; maybe it’s time to take it to the next level.

In either case, you can work out what’s up by talking about your feelings and finding out what is actually going on in her life.

9) She’s always late

If your partner is always late, then it could be a sign that she doesn’t value your time and wants to spend less of it with you.

Maybe she has other things going on in her life that are taking up all of her time and she feels too guilty to tell you how she really feels.

Being late is rude and downright disrespectful so if this problem continues you’re going to have to play open cards about the situation or move on.

10) She’s always angry at you

If your partner is always angry with you because of something that happened, it could be a sign she isn’t happy with the way things are going and she feels as though you aren’t making her happy anymore.

A lot of times, people will get mad at their partners for seemingly unrelated reasons. They get angry at one unwashed bowl when really, they’re angry because they feel like they’re not receiving enough attention.

As usual; communicate, communicate, communicate.

Tell her gently that you feel like you’re being used as a punching bag, that this isn’t appropriate behavior and try and see what she has to say.

11) She finds things to argue about

When a person wants out of a relationship, it’s not uncommon for them to pick arguments with their partner over silly, trivial things.

What she’s trying to do is to let the argument snowball and she’s trying to get you to give her a reason to leave (because she doesn’t have a good enough one as it is) without you realizing it.

She’s always on your case about small things, and you can’t go a day without a little comment turning into a huge shouting match.

This is a pretty big red flag.

No one wants to spend their life fighting or walking on eggshells, so consider whether this behavior works for you.

12) She’s always in a bad mood around you

If your partner is always in a bad mood when she’s around you, then it could be the case that she doesn’t like you anymore.

Yeah, sure you could blame it on “that time of the month” or hormones but if you’re noticing that she’s a delight around others, and a demon around you, it’s probably a sign of a deeper issue.

The sad thing is that we tend also to bounce off our partner’s emotions, so her bad mood equals a bad mood for you too.

If it feels like your relationship is overall taking a nosedive, try out Rudá’s free Self-Love Quiz.

I mentioned him above, but he has excellent resources for better understanding your own emotions (a mystery to many of us!) and those of our partner’s.

And with the help of the questions posed by the quiz, you might gain a better picture of whether this is a recent change, or something that has been going on for longer than you’d like to admit,

Equally, a sudden change in mood might be something you’ve not even considered, like a huge amount of stress or mental health issues, so avoid jumping to conclusions.

Either way, click here to access the free quiz – it’s very quick to complete!

13) She’s never worried about you

If your partner is never worried about you, it can be a sign that she doesn’t care about you or about what happens to you.

When you first started dating, she’d always send you a text to find out if you got home okay, or a good morning text littered with emojis. Now, she’s stopped doing that all together.

If this is the case, then it could be a sign that your relationship isn’t as strong as it could be and there might be some deeper issues at play.

Bring up this change and try and pinpoint what might have caused it. 

14) She’s too into her social life

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Never discourage your partner from having friends and a life beyond you.

However, if it seems like her life revolves around her social calendar whilst she doesn’t make any time or effort to fit you into the equation, it’s a sign that she values her life too much and doesn’t have any appetite for your relationship.

If she’s constantly out and about and has plans scheduled that never include you, talk about it.

Maybe she doesn’t include you because she thinks you’re not interested in what she’s doing or that you’ll be bored.

If this is not the cause, it signals that she’s losing interest.

15) She’s always on the phone with her girlfriend

If your partner is always on the phone with her BFFL, it can be a sign that something fishy is going on.

Your girlfriend’s best friend is her confidant and she confides absolutely everything in her.

It’s not unusual for girls to have deep relationships with their female friends, however, when it becomes noticeably excessive, it could signal that there’s more happening than what you initially thought.

She might be discussing you and asking her friend for relationship advice because she’s not interested in you anymore and doesn’t have the heart to tell you.

16) She’s always on her phone

Is she always checking her social media feed, reading updates, etc.?

You ask her something and without looking up, she answers yet continues scrolling and staring at her screen.

If you notice that your partner is constantly on her phone, it could be a sign that she doesn’t care about you anymore.

And boy does it suck to contend with a piece of plastic.

It’s important to have some boundaries in your relationship and if you feel like your partner is always on her phone, you need to talk to her about it and let her know that it makes you feel unimportant and disrespected.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be honest about your feelings.

17) She’s trying to control you

If your partner is always trying to keep you at home, telling you where you can go and what you can wear, it’s a sign that she’s unhappy or mistrustful.

If this happens often enough or if there’s another reason why you’re not sure what her true intentions are, then it might be time for an open-minded conversation about where exactly you want to take the relationship.

She might feel insecure or she might have trust issues.

Getting to the bottom of it and working through it will take honest communication and effort on both parts.

18) She’s always trying to change you

If your partner is always trying to change you, then it could be a sign that she isn’t happy with the way things are going in your relationship and she wants more of a say in how things go.

Maybe she feels as though the two of you are on different pages when it comes to how things should go and that she doesn’t feel like you are good enough for her.

Being receptive to growth and change is a big part of relationships.

However, know when to draw the line between sacrificing who you are, and changing to meet the expectations of the person you love.

19) She’s always talking about her exes

This one really irks me.

If your woman talks about her exes all the time, then this may be an indication that there’s something wrong within your relationship.

Any talk of exes is generally a red flag, and suggests she still hasn’t let go of her past.

Either way, if these types of conversations continue to happen more often than they should then it might be time for some self-reflection.

At the end of the day, you’re not her ex and it’s unfair to be compared to someone else.


Maybe some of the things on this list strike you as more serious than others, but every single one of these signs will give you a reason to talk to your partner about it.

Take the time to read through each one and see which relate to you.

Sometimes, we try and mind read our partner’s too much and miss out on actually understanding their feelings by simply asking them.

But mind reading unfortunately comes second nature to many couples, and takes a lot to unlearn.

Try Rudá’s free Love and Intimacy Masterclass if you haven’t already!

We mustn’t take the people we love for granted because at any given moment they could just up and leave, so if you feel like you’re drifting – voice it.

And if it’s difficult to voice it, start tackling the how-to of communication by practical exercises and actual effort, such as those taught by the class.

Click here to try out the free masterclass.

If you notice any of the above signs that indicate she might be drifting, don’t be afraid to speak up about them. It might be a sign that you need to do something about it before it’s too late.

All the best!

Lyndol Lyons

Lyndol Lyons

The business of life is the acquisition of memories. In the end, that's all there is. Writer, spiritualist, mom. Tolerant of people, but prefer animals. Owner of 346 cats in a previous life.

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