You’re wondering if your former partner who dumped you has joined the ranks of those who regret their decision.
Let me help you by providing 25 undeniable signs that your ex-lover may be experiencing dumpers remorse.
Signs of Dumpers Remorse:
1) They seem overly nice and accommodating in order to “make up” for breaking up with you.
They suddenly start treating you like royalty or the most perfect person in the world. It’s all compliments, flowers, and promises to make things up to you until you’re absolutely sick of it.
They may even try to rekindle the romance by giving you a full-blown love fest for a few weeks.
The affection and compliments continue on a daily basis for weeks, or months if they’re really trying hard to convince you that dumping you was a mistake they’ll never make again.
2) They often do things that remind you of how you were together.
They’re conveniently “bumping into” you over and over again. It could be a chance meeting in the grocery store, or calling you at the same time every night.
Their coincidental encounters seem to be too numerous to be “coincidental.” These are people who wouldn’t give you the time of day before, and now suddenly they are going out of their way to see you.
3) They make all of your dreams come true.
They “snap” back together with you, and tell you how great you are and how they love how you make them feel.
They may even tell you they’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, and they don’t know why they broke up with you, but it’s all because they miss their relationship with you.
They soon forget what was really wrong with the relationship in the first place: all the times that proved to be physically or emotionally abusive toward you.
4) They talk about how they were a “jerk” for hurting you, and they’re sorry.
They may even break down in tears, and tell you how much they miss you and want to be with you again.
They’ll make all kinds of promises that they’ll never hurt you again. They will make sure you’re taken care of in every way, by making sure that their old behavior doesn’t ever happen to you again.
They will be so supportive and kind, they will make sure that you know they want to be with you every day and every night.
They will also make sure to tell you how nice it is to finally be in a relationship with one person who truly loves them.
5) They always make sure you know they will never leave again
Be careful of people who often make promises that they don’t intend to keep.
It may be a kind gesture on their part, but it sounds like they’re saying something else that may be confusing to you.
People who know they are good at making promises don’t make any false promises. They use the word “never” to make sure that you will never doubt them again.
6) They show no signs of wanting to break up with you
They may not want to break up with you, but at face value, they’re always going to pamper you. They will make sure that you never have to worry about your needs being met in this relationship.
They will always be there for the important decisions, financial arrangements and a hundred other items that may be weighing heavy on your shoulders.
The only way they can make a decision without telling you beforehand is if it involves changing the rules of the relationship.
7) They tell you that this time will be different
This sounds an awful lot like a loaded revolver that’s jammed with the safety off. Watch for people who always make promises that turn out to be empty gestures of kindness.
It’s a nasty habit for someone who has been an abuser in the past. They know they were once selfish, irresponsible, and possibly insane because it took such a toll on their minds and bodies.
They will go to any length to prove to you they’ve changed their ways before dumping you again.
8) They make excuses for the abusive behaviors you experienced in this relationship.
Some dumpers will convince you that the abuse was your fault for not being as smart as them about how relationships work.
They never seem to realize that it’s their behavior that caused the problems in the first place, and they always blame their victims for not seeing things through to a logical conclusion.
They will also make excuses on why they broke up with you, when there are no good excuses to discuss.
9) They promise to be there for you, no matter what
This behavior is actually a way that they can keep you captive emotionally, until they are ready to begin the abuse someone else.
It also lets you know that they think they have the upper edge over you because of what happened between you two. They dumped you because of their issues and now want to prove their superiority over your inability to recognize their negative behavior.
You may feel sorry for them, but it’s not the same as feeling sorry for yourself.
10) You will feel sorry for them
This is an excellent sign that you’re dealing with someone who’s trying hard to make up for their past failures.
They may even say “let’s just put this in the past because I’m so happy now.” Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you have to accept abusive behavior to be treated like a human being.
It’s the best way to find out what someone really thinks of you.
11) They make you feel like they’re the one that changed
This is not a change of heart from a controlling, abusive person.
It’s an attempt to manipulate your emotions and make you feel sorry for them. They want to feel important and useful again, but all they’re doing is hurting others.
They may also make promises like “I’m going to change for you,” when in reality, their only concern is how quickly they can get another relationship without getting involved in any new problems.
12) They make you feel special
You may feel that you are the only person in the world at this point, but don’t be swayed by their words.
This is a sign that they need to be around other people to stay sane, and it has nothing to do with how much you mean to them. How can someone who behaves like this have so much love for anyone?
13) They will try to get you back without making peace with you first.
This may sound a little crazy, but usually, people who are trying to patch things up with someone feel there is something to apologize for.
Buying gifts doesn’t make up for their past behavior, and their words won’t mean much to you if they haven’t learned anything from the relationship.
14) They will make you feel like you’re the only one who cares about them.
Before they try to get back into your life, they will tell you that no one else cares for them in the way that you do.
They want you to feel sorry for the past and believe them when they say how much they loved being with you.
15) They will even take the time to tell you what it was about you that made them change their mind.
This is a way for them to make you feel like your relationship was special and that they don’t want to let you go.
They will tell you specifically why they want their relationship with you back, but don’t believe these charming words too quickly.
It may be the first sign of an abusive cycle coming back around again.
16) They keep asking how they can get back in your good graces again.
They will do anything for a chance to get back into your life.
It’s not just about getting you back, but it’s about making sure that you think well of them.
You should always be kind to people who make an honest effort to prove that they’ve changed their ways.
The problem is you may find yourself wondering if they’re telling the truth about how much the relationship meant to them.
17) They won’t be honest about their past
You may say that you’re not the type of person to make promises or hold grudges, but you should also always be aware of how people really treat you.
If it turns out that they’re trying to persuade you that they’re a different person now, don’t believe them. They may make comments that sound as if they’ve really changed, but there’s always an ulterior motive to their actions.
You should never let them get too close to you again, because you don’t want to get caught up in their emotional games.
18) They have a problem with commitment and have many partners in their life.
This has everything to do with their past behavior and nothing to do with you.
If they’re emotionally unavailable, can’t commit, and let people down, they’ll find themselves in many relationships at the same time.
It’s easy for them to have someone other than you drive them crazy because they know that your feelings aren’t going to last for years. They may even put you on a pedestal temporarily in order to feel important again.
19) They have an inconsistent personality.
They’ll make you believe that their personality has changed for the better, but it’s just an act to try to get you back on their side.
They may talk about how much they want a loving relationship in order to win your sympathy, but don’t be fooled.
Their true colors will show up when they no longer need you and can start planning on getting you back on the shelf for someone else.
20) They have a problem making decisions.
This is a serious sign that they need to take some time off and figure out what’s really important in their life.
It’s not you or the relationship, but it’s their actions that have caused the problems in their life.
They’ll promise to make sure your needs are met as long as they can find another source of power.
21) They act like their past problems never happened.
They may be living in the present, but you’ll never get a glimpse of the past because they don’t care about it.
That’s because they don’t have any regrets about what happened in their life, and that’s why you need to leave them alone.
22) They will make you feel like every memory you have of them is wrong.
They don’t want to be scrutinized for the way they treated you in the past.
They won’t let you talk about your negative experience with them without getting upset and trying to change the subject quickly. They’ll probably say something like “Everyone makes mistakes.
23) They will tell their friends that they’re no longer the person they used to be.
It’s a way for them to make sure people are on their side when they start talking about how much they changed for the better.
They’ll say things like “I’m more confident” or “I can handle my emotions better these days”.
These people aren’t better off, but they’re trying to make you think that they are in the hopes of getting back together with you. Watch out for this behavior because it’s a big red flag.
24) They will make you forget your own name when you’re together again.
Even if it’s temporary, they’ll do everything they can to make you feel good again.
They don’t have to change their ways if they can make you forget about them. This may sound crazy, but it works for a certain type of person.
They want to know that your feelings for them are stronger than the negative feelings that came from their past behavior.
25) They show signs of jealousy when they see you with someone else.
They will try hard to win you back, but they already know that the person you’re dating is competition.
That’s because they don’t think you’ll go back to them if you see someone who treats you better. The only way they can get your attention is by making it impossible for you to have a healthy relationship with someone else.
These signs should have made it clear whether your former partner regrets dumping you or not.
Now, it’s up to you to decide whether or not you want to get back together.
Remember that you’re in the position of strength at this point, and you have the power to agree to the terms of the relationship.
It’s important to be clear about what you want and don’t want before you start thinking about whether or not they regret breaking up with you.
Be careful and make sure that love is the top priority in your life. It’s hard to find someone who respects you, so don’t allow yourself to fall for someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Why is it important to have mutual respect in a relationship?
When you respect your partner, you’ll treat them with kindness and as a part of your life. You won’t look for ways to push them away.
They won’t feel forced to hide who they really are because they know you’re someone who will accept their flaws. That’s what makes love last and grow stronger over time.
If a relationship is missing mutual respect, it might be time to end it instead of wanting that person back in your life again.
On the other hand, without mutual respect, it’s hard for two people to be committed and dependable.
They won’t be looking out for everyone’s best interest, and they’ll get in each other’s way instead of helping each other become better people.
The bottom line is, before making the decision to get back together with them, remember that there’s a big difference between turning a new leaf and wanting someone back.
If someone has changed their ways, they may still be interested in you because they want to keep the relationship going. That doesn’t mean they want to build a new future with you.
Here are some questions to find out the truth about their intentions.
- What are your plans with me? Where do you see us in the future?
- Do you still think about our relationship when you’re alone?
- Has there been someone else since we broke up?
- Are you comfortable with the distance we went through when we dated and ended up breaking up?
- Can you tell me what your past behavior during our relationship taught you?
- Did you learn to respect me after dumping me? Why or why not?
- Do you feel like we still have love for each other if we were to get back together? Why or why not?
- What do you want from me now that we’re back together?
Communication is key when you decide to get back together.
You might think it’s not necessary, but it does make a difference.
When you want to work things out with someone, communication will make the process easier because you’ll be able to understand each other better.
You’ll learn how to communicate with your partner because you’re willing to go through the emotional challenge of not giving up on the relationship. It takes maturity to realize when something is right or wrong before it becomes a real problem.
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