It is not always easy to know when it’s time to walk away from a relationship.
Do you feel like your partnership has reached an end?
Here are 15 signs to look out for that indicate your relationship is beyond repair and can’t be saved.
1) The honeymoon phase is over and you just don’t like your partner anymore
The honeymoon phase is a euphoric period in a relationship when everything seems perfect and nothing can go wrong.
This period is fleeting and usually happens at the beginning of a relationship.
But once the honeymoon phase is over, you begin to realize that your partner isn’t always so great.
You may find out that they’re not as kind or thoughtful as you originally thought they were.
They might be self-centered or never around because they’re always busy with work.
Perhaps they even have some traits that you would consider irritating.
You see, this happens to every couple and frankly, as long as you’re still in the honeymoon phase, there is no telling whether or not you are a good match.
That only reveals itself once the honeymoon phase is over.
When you feel like you just don’t like them anymore, and you don’t want to deal with the relationship anymore, that’s a pretty dire sign.
You’ll know it’s time to move on if you’ve been really feeling this way for a while, or if this is the first time it’s happened in your relationship.
2) Your partner starts to resent you
If your partner has started to resent you, it’s a sign that the relationship is on its way to being beyond repair.
If there is resentment in the air, it will likely lead to arguments and eventually more resentment.
Resentment can stem from a variety of things.
Maybe your partner feels like you don’t do enough for them or that you are always in the way.
Or maybe they feel like you are not good enough for them or that they deserve someone better.
Resentment can be caused by a lot of different factors, but it is never a good sign.
If this has happened to you, it might be time to consider walking away from the relationship.
The thing is, you deserve someone who loves you for who you are and who doesn’t make you feel bad for existing.
A partner filled with resentment is not that person, trust me.
3) You don’t bring out his inner-hero anymore
This one is for the ladies.
A sign that your relationship is done is when you can’t bring out your partner’s inner-hero anymore.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
Try it out and see if it still works for your partner. If it does, there might still be hope for you two!
4) You can’t stop fighting
When you and your partner just can’t seem to stop fighting, it’s not a good sign.
You should be able to resolve your differences and work things out with your partner.
If you find yourself constantly fighting with your partner, it may be time to consider breaking up.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Fighting is a healthy and important part of every relationship, and it’s good to have an argument every once in a while!
But if you find that you are constantly fighting with your partner, it might be time to consider whether or not this is the person for you.
You see, there are ways to fight in a healthy way. This includes:
- not calling your partner any names
- no cussing
- using “I” statements instead of blaming the other person
- taking time to listen to what the other person has to say
- taking time to cool off when things get heated
- approaching issues as you two against the problem, not you vs your partner
Do your fights look like that?
Or is it usually just a screamfest followed by insults and crying?
If it’s the latter, you should probably end things.
5) You don’t have anything in common anymore
Another sign that the relationship is beyond repair is when you don’t have anything in common anymore with your partner.
This can be noticed when you’re not interested in their life or vice versa and are constantly finding yourself struggling to find something to talk about.
This is a good sign that you should end the relationship.
You can’t even be yourself around them anymore because you just don’t feel comfortable!
If this is happening to you, it’s probably time to try and start over. This can be a fresh start or a new relationship, depending on how bad the situation is.
Think about it: the best relationships are those where your partner is simultaneously your best friend.
If you have nothing in common anymore, then they’re really only there as “decoration”, so to speak.
Don’t you want to free up space in your life to attract someone who is a perfect match for you?
6) You’re no longer attracted to your partner
It is difficult to stay in a relationship if you are no longer attracted to your partner.
Yes, love is about so much more than exterior appearances, but in most relationships, it is still an important factor.
If you’re not attracted to them anymore, it’s time to end the relationship.
You see, the physical is just as important in a relationship as the emotional, and I speak from experience when I say that when you truly love someone, you will find them attractive, even when they don’t look their best.
So, what does that mean for you?
If you don’t find your partner attractive anymore at all, it could be time to call it quits.
7) You have a different idea of what “love” means
If you and your partner have different definitions of what love means, it may be time to walk away.
According to a study conducted by the University of Michigan, people with different views on love are more likely to choose to break up.
The thing is, everyone sees love differently and everyone has different love languages.
The key to a healthy relationship is finding out your partner’s love language so that you can love them in a way they appreciate.
Now, if you and your partner don’t put any effort into being on the same page and so you have opposing views on what “love” means, this relationship might not work out in the long run.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to put in an effort to shower you with love and appreciation.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
8) You have incompatible plans for the future
When you have plans for your future that are incompatible with your partner’s, it can be a difficult dilemma to navigate.
This situation is tricky and you may feel like there is no way to compromise.
You might find yourself worrying about what this means for your partnership in the long run.
For example, if you want to have a big family in the countryside, live a simple life, and your partner is focused on getting a steady job in the city and wants to climb the corporate ladder, this could create problems in the future.
Believe it or not, this is one of the biggest reasons couples break up.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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Think about it: you could be the most perfect match, but when your desires for the future aren’t compatible, one of you will always have to compromise their happiness, worst case both of you end up unhappy.
Not only is that not an ideal situation, but it will also breed resentment towards each other further down the line.
9) You think about breaking up even when things are going well
One of the most common signs that your relationship is beyond repair and can’t be saved is when you think about breaking up even when things are going well.
You see, the thought of breaking up crosses everybody’s mind from time to time, usually right in the middle of an argument, when things are heated and you don’t feel good.
That is not a sign of concern at all, in fact, it’s quite normal.
It becomes worrisome when these thoughts start to creep in even when things are seemingly going well with you two.
You may find yourself thinking about what it would be like to be single again and start building a life for yourself.
This can happen for a variety of reasons, but it typically means that you’re unhappy in the relationship.
So, if you find yourself constantly contemplating breaking up, even though you’re in a good place technically, you should end things and find your happiness.
10) Jealousy and insecurity are present all the time
If there is a constant feeling of jealousy and insecurity present in your relationship, this is usually a sign that the relationship has gone bad and can’t be saved.
Insecurity is not good for any relationship because it creates an us-against-them mentality.
Jealousy on the other hand creates feelings of anger and hate, which will eventually lead to separation.
The thing is, this behavior is detrimental to both of you.
The jealous and insecure partner is constantly suffering, while the other partner feels guilty, controlled, and watched all the time.
Now: what can you do to be less jealous or insecure in your relationship?
This is a question you should ask yourself.
The answer may surprise you and make you think about your relationship.
You see, jealousy is not a negative emotion per se. If you experience it, instead of fighting it, try to embrace it and face it with curiosity.
Ask yourself where it is coming from and what it is trying to tell you.
Talking to your partner and communicating your insecurities openly is a great way to go about this.
If you feel like you can’t do that, then your relationship might not be savable anymore.
11) Secrets and lies are revealed
When a partner is lying or keeping secrets about who they are communicating with, it’s indicative of a relationship that is beyond saving.
There is no point in trying to save a relationship that isn’t being honest and open.
Think about it: when the trust in a relationship is broken in a major way, it will be hard to get back on track after that.
You see, betrayal happens in some relationships and it may or may not be a cause to end things.
But do you want to know what the main factor is why betrayal destroys so many partnerships?
Because the betraying partner was lying and keeping it a secret.
If the partner is open and honest right off the bat, the chances of healing are exponentially bigger than if they keep it hidden and it accidentally comes out.
So, if you know that there are secrets and lies in your relationship, it might be time to end things.
12) The relationship is toxic
When you are in a toxic relationship, you’re doing more harm than good by staying in it.
But what is a toxic relationship, really?
It’s a relationship that is not good for you, but you’re still stuck in it.
The problem with toxic relationships is that the victim simply can’t leave them.
They feel trapped and don’t have the courage to leave.
That’s why they stay in a toxic relationship until they finally realize they can’t take it anymore and end things.
However, more often than not, both partners are toxic to some degree and just can’t steer clear from one another.
The relationship will be characterized by:
- trust issues
- on-again, off-again patterns
- snooping through each other’s things
- being obsessed with one another
If you feel like your relationship is toxic, it’s probably best to take a step away from it and take a break.
13) You both don’t put any effort into the relationship anymore
Do you remember the beginning of your relationship, when you and your partner used to shower each other in appreciation, gifts, surprises, etc.?
If you feel like neither one of you is putting in any effort anymore, it’s probably best to end the relationship.
You see, relationships are all about taking care of the other person and putting in the work.
If there is no more motivation to do any work, the relationship might be beyond saving.
Think about it: do you want to be with someone who doesn’t put any effort into you and who doesn’t inspire you to do the same for them?
14) There’s a lack of communication
I say it time and time again: the key to a healthy relationship is communication.
The more you communicate with your partner, the more you understand each other and the better you get at understanding how they think.
If you’re not communicating with your partner, you’re not truly understanding them.
And if you don’t understand them, it’s hard to build any sort of trust with them.
And if there is no trust in a relationship, it’s impossible for intimacy to happen.
The thing is, most issues in relationships stem from a lack of communication or miscommunication.
Think about it: how many times have you silently suffered because you thought you were being silly, or that it wouldn’t change anything if you voiced your concerns?
Every single one of these situations is an opportunity for you to become a stronger, more loving couple.
If there is no more communication between you two, then things are most likely over.
And I don’t mean the simple: “What’s up?” “Not much, how was your day?”.
I’m talking about the nitty-gritty conversations that run deep!
15) You don’t want to try anymore
Last but not least, a sign that your relationship is dying is when you don’t want to try anymore.
You see, once the will to try is gone, what is left of the relationship?
Usually, what keeps a relationship going is love and the will to fight for it.
If you don’t want to fight anymore, that means you might not love your partner and there is no hope for the future.
Think about it: some couples survive the worst odds, getting through long-distance, war, cheating, family tragedies, or sickness together.
They have a will to try and make it work.
If you feel like you’re done trying, then it’s better to go your separate ways.
You’ll be better off
Trust me, it’s always better to be alone and peaceful than in an unhealthy relationship.
I’m not saying that you should never be with your partner again.
In some cases, space is exactly what the partners need in order to find appreciation for one another again.
You might miss them, but in a way, it’ll be good for both of you.
And if not, you will move on and find someone new who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
By now you should have a good idea of whether your relationship can be saved or not.
So what can you do if you want to make it work?
Well, for the women I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder