He’s not like other guys.
He’s a protective guy. Women want him. Men want to be him. A true ladies’ man, the hopeless romantic white knight that, if he has to, will kill someone for you and do it neatly with minimal fuss.
In popular TV shows, movies, and literature, this male stereotype can be portrayed compulsively longing over a lady, making grand gestures, or envisioning the future of a relationship long ahead of time.
But is he sincere, or is this simply a flirty attempt to imitate Pop Culture for cheap entertainment? Sometimes it might be difficult to tell for sure, and the task of self-protection is up to you.
Here are 13 tell-tale signs that he has it bad for you when it comes to his protective instincts.
1) He pays attention to details
It starts with the fact that he always seems to know how you’re feeling.
He can easily tell whether you’re happy, sad, or bored, and all he wants to do is make sure you’re okay and show you that he cares by hugging, cuddling, or engaging in some social activity. He understands exactly what you need without you having to express it.
He also understands his moods and how to react to them as a result of this. When it comes to you, he is emotionally intelligent, which offers up a lot of possibilities for the two of you.
2) He senses when you are in a vulnerable situation
He can always recognize when you’re in a dangerous position, whether it’s in a club, a late-night party, a concert, a sketchy neighborhood, or with strangers.
“I’ve got your back,” he says as he wraps his arm over your shoulders.
He’ll keep an eye on you and make sure you’re not alone when you go home.
He’ll be the one to take you to your car.
He’ll make sure you don’t get a DUI.
He is the one who will ensure that no one steals from you.
He will go over and beyond to save you.
Being protective doesn’t necessarily mean that he needs to fight someone; it just means that he stands between you and any harm (physical or emotional). And, in the process of eliminating the threat, he’ll go to great lengths to shift the danger away from the person he cares about and even onto him.
3) He won’t think twice about stepping in for you
Somehow reminds me of Camus’ The Fall, and those poignant last pages:
“You yourself utter the words that for years have never ceased echoing through my nights and that I shall, at last, say through your mouth: ‘O young woman, throw yourself into the water again so that I may a second time have the chance of saving both of us!’”
We are sometimes drawn to and deeply moved by what has made someone unhappy, what they find hard, or what they have felt utterly alone with up until now.
And when we learn more about someone’s vulnerable sides, we have a better understanding of what divides them from casual acquaintances, and we realize, with relief and a renewed sense of devotion, how much they share in our own perplexity and anguish.
People might be admired for their accomplishments, robust social lives, or cheerful personalities.
But, to the extent that we love them, it is frequently because parts of them have experienced misery, terrible times in their childhood because they sometimes doubt themselves and are familiar with depression and loneliness.
While the signs in this article will help you understand if he’s being protective over you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and confusing love situations, like your partner being protective over you. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) He won’t let you be bad
You trust him, after a time, because he has never lied to you, cheated you, condescended to you, betrayed you, or humiliated you. He has supported you, but also has not hesitated to tell you if he thinks you’re behaving badly or doing something that isn’t in your best interest or that of someone else. He won’t be a partner to your bad judgments.
He won’t let you be bad.
Does this describe you and your love interest? If so, then this is the right relationship.
5) Body language
Many times, knowing something about someone can help you connect with them or impress them. We are constantly sending and receiving nonverbal cues as humans, whether we are aware of it or not.
Research showed that men are not only not guarded around their love interest when it comes to their protective instincts, but are also more likely to use body signs and subtle facial cues to send a feminine woman body language signals that are meant to make her feel safe.
According to studies, open and welcoming demeanor, raising eyebrows and leaning towards the person, arm around their waist, eye contact, and holding hands are more likely to succeed with feminine women seeking for a person who is ready to commit to them and protect them.
As shown by Cristina Tiljander’s study “Social gender norms in body language,” broad positions that demand more space are linked with authority and masculinity and are more typically utilized by males than women. This may also be regarded as a power move used in social situations by protective men attempting to assert their superiority over their opponents.
6) He can put himself in your shoes
Protective guys can put themselves in others’ shoes, or can see themselves in situations others may be in and are then able to better empathize with them, and better understand what they can do to help them.
The protective guy knows that people react and act the way they do due to a common set of mistakes that they didn’t make – mistakes that they know can happen – and that many people repeat – mistakes that happen all the time – and that he’d like to avoid – mistakes that could happen to anyone.
Others, on the other hand, see only one side of an issue; only how the situation affects them. They think their opinion is right; their action or reaction is the only correct one. In a word, compassion is what separates these men.
7) He is gentle with you
Good men exist.
They listen, and then they speak. They don’t get wrapped up in their own story; they keep their focus on the person in front of them. They have a talent for asking all the right questions, and they are acutely aware of the small moments of your day.
They see the people in your life and the people around you. They know your strengths and weaknesses and they know that, together, they can bring out the best in you. They have a good sense of how demented and fragile we all are.
So they go out of their way to reassure, to be forgiving, and to be gentle.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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The reason why he is so attentive to you could actually lay in you triggering his hero instinct, without even knowing it…
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’. This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in this life. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say, messages you can send, requests you can use to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including how to trigger it in your man.
I don’t often recommend videos but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts in relationship psychology I’ve come across.
8) He has the same story whether you’re with him or not
He treats the environment.
A good guy will offer a helping hand to a stranger, offer you a seat on the bus, and always be a good neighbor, and, aside from the obvious protective traits and characteristics, there is a simple rule of consistent behavior to spot a good guy in the world.
I think you watch how a person treats other people and how they talk to them face-to-face and how they talk about them when they are not present. If these behaviors are consistently kind, just, respectful, and dignified, then you have found a good guy.
9) He is honest without violating your trust
Whatever you do, you should always present the best version of the truth, even if it isn’t pretty. That kind of honesty will help not only to build trust with your love interest but also to inspire loyalty in them. But trust shouldn’t come at full price.
That is why the greatest advice we can give you is “be honest but not too honest”.
If you could be honest with your significant other, they would know exactly how much you love them. But when it comes to relationships, you might hear the saying ‘white lies save marriages.’
The biggest single factor people respect in a guy is honesty. However, everyone in a romantic relationship has to be dishonest at times by acts of omission (e.g., you don’t reveal how you feel in a certain scenario, you behave as if something didn’t upset you when, in reality, it did).
The protective guy tries to be truthful at all times and finds a way to explain the things he can’t be truthful about without betraying your trust.
10) You can tell protective guys by the way they treat their parents, friends, and others
When analyzing the nature/extent of people’s kindness, pay close attention to their actions. How does a person treat/talk about/interact with his parents and friends, hotel check-in guy, or restaurant waitress? Not only while you are present, but also when you are not.
When the person is unaware that they are being watched, you can discover the most. How people treat those who are ostensibly the most important people in their lives is a good indicator of whether or not you can trust them.
How will they treat you if they treat their loved ones in that way?
11) You’d introduce him to your mother
With time you will learn that the protective guys are those you’d take home to meet your family. When you’re trying to assess someone’s overall level of good, ask yourself, would you expose this person to my family? Is this someone I’d introduce to my friend and parents?
If I can’t, or am unwilling to introduce someone to your family, there must be some reason why.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct. When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to be honest and sincere with you.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right phrases to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s highly worth a watch if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
12) He lives his values in good times and bad
As much as we’d like to avoid it, life inevitably skirts past the groove and throws a curveball. I’m sure you’ve witnessed it for yourself. Sometimes, our response is to give up and bail out.
Having someone who can navigate the stormy waters is always inspiring. People who recover well can embrace uncertainty, identify strengths, take time for themselves, recover, stay motivated without complaining, and forge ahead.
These are the signs of protective men that address difficulties strategically while also being proactive. And they are generous in their perspective. They are like rocks.
A tough person can make us better in the long run, and tough people help us find out exactly who we are and what we’re capable of.
13) He does not appear to be flawless
You’re not so infatuated with him that you can’t recognize his imperfections.
Sarah Jones, a comedian, coined a fantastic term to explain the feeling that the evil side of social media perpetuates in us. To keep a good smile on one’s face. She says that we live in a “COMPARING AND DESPAIR” society. That is why exposing our weaknesses to others seems like a “failure.”
Yet, taking risks is the only way to feel actually connected to someone. We’re all afraid that if we show our insecure, weak, suffering selves, others won’t understand or judge us. But why is that? There is a certain arrogance in believing that we are so difficult to grasp, so unique.
The protective guy lets down all of his defenses and reveals all of his vulnerabilities to you. He shows you that it’s alright to be flawed, and he encourages you to do just that. He does not let you down by exploiting the situation or being inconsiderate.
Whatever happens, he’ll keep looking for the things you share in common, and he’ll keep believing in honesty, bravery, and compassion.
By now you should have a good idea of how to recognize if the guy is over-protective around you.
While there might be many reasons for it, one of the most powerful ones is you triggering his inner hero.
Once it happens, the guy suddenly becomes the best version of himself around you and doesn’t stop to surprise you in a good way.
I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder