How do you know the guy you’re crushing on is not just into you, but in love with you?
When he’s good to you and treats your wellbeing as his own? When he makes sacrifices for your sake and never gives up on your future?
He might seem like a gentleman, but how do we know if this dude is really in it for the long haul.
It’s easy for a man to signal that he loves you because most men are totally oblivious. A man might not necessarily say that he loves you, but his actions will almost always speak louder than words.
However, there are a number of subtle signs a man may not want others to know about their relationship (and even if they do, they’ll probably keep it to themselves).
We compiled a list of 20 secrets that’ll help determine whether or not he really has feelings for you.
1) He brings you flowers for no reason
If he doesn’t have to be in the hospital for it, then he doesn’t bring you flowers. If he does, then he’s probably in love with you and wants to show it.
He’ll buy you your favorite flowers. It means that he really cares about you.
Flowers are a sign of love and passion, and he’s probably not sending you flowers but rather expensive gifts. The man who sends you flowers is usually really into you.
Flowers are not just flowers. They are a special gift that the one who sends them does not want to miss.
When a man is in love, he’ll make sure that you know it and he’ll make sure that you know how much he enjoys your company.
Love is an emotion that only a caring and sincere person can show.
This speaks volumes about a guy’s intentions. Specifically, his love for you.
2) He doesn’t look at his phone when you’re around
In our generation, it seems that you cannot escape the fact that people will always have their phone in hand.
If he’s always on his phone when you’re around, then it’s likely that he’s talking to an ex-girlfriend or sending out texts to someone else.
This is a sign of disinterest and nothing more than a constant reminder that you’re second best.
If he has his phone in hand when he’s around you then it’ll probably be to look for something online or check the time.
But really, he does. If a guy is totally engrossed in his phone and you walk into the room, he’ll put his phone away.
This can sometimes be a sign that he’s interested, but someone who cares about you won’t care about his phone while you’re around.
A man doesn’t look at his phone when you’re around because he’s not being rude. He’ll do this because it feels natural to him.
If you’re talking to him and he stops whatever he was doing, chances are that he’s looking forward to seeing you.
If a guy isn’t interested in you, then they’ll never stop checking their phones while you’re around.
3) He wants to protect you
If he’s curious about you and your life, it means he’s interested in who you are. He might not want you to know this but being “curious” is the precursor to being in love with someone.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
4) He wants to know you got home safe
This is a very good sign because men who care about you will have their own safety concerns. He’ll have an interest in what you get up to at night and if there are any threats out there.
There’s no way he can’t care about your safety, but he definitely shouldn’t know this; this is something you should keep to yourself.
As a woman, there’s no reason to share with him any of this information you’re getting from your parents or friends. When he does ask about this information, it might make him feel like your hero.
And that’s why he wants to know. He wants to ensure you don’t get hurt and that you have everything you need.
Being worried that something might happen to you is one thing, but letting him know this can spell the end of any future relationship.
Your man will be able to tell that something’s up if you try to put off these discussions as much as possible.
The more you try to avoid this subject, the more his intuition will get the better of him. Be open and honest with him, but don’t talk about your safety problems.
5) He cancels plans for you
Do you want to know if he’s really in love with you or not? Find out if a guy is willing to cancel plans for you at the last minute.
If he seems like he wants to hang out with his friends and then at the last minute he tells them that he can’t make it, this is a good sign.
He was willing to give up his time for you. That shows someone values who you are as a person.
Why does he do this?
Is he afraid of losing you? In most cases, yes. When a guy cancels plans for something with his friends but wants to spend more time with you, it’s a good sign that he’s in love with you.
He’s not just spending time with you because they’re dating. He wants to be with you because he cares about what you do and where you go.
6) He teases you, in a good way
A guy who’s in love with you will tease you. He wants to test you and see if you’re ready to be with them.
If he says something funny or says something that embarrasses you, there’s a good chance he was doing it on purpose.
If he teases you, it means he cares about you as a person. This is a sign that he’s in love with you.
He wants to make sure you’re strong and ready to be around him because it can be difficult being in a relationship if your partner isn’t ready for a commitment like this.
If he teases you in a protective way, this definitely isn’t what I’m talking about.
But if he teases you in a way that feels playful and like they have a good time together, it’s worth noting.
Anything that’s playful and fun is a sign that someone cares about you. If an individual isn’t playful, then you can assume that they don’t care about you.
8) He remembers every little conversation you’ve had
Do you want to know if a guy is really in love with you? Find out if he remembers every conversation you’ve ever had.
If he’s remembering every little conversation that you had, then this is a good sign. He wants to make sure you’re close and he cares about the relationship.
It’s not that he wants to get to know you but it’s important that he knows what’s going on in your life. He wants to make sure you’re having a good time and don’t have any problems.
If a guy can’t remember things, then they aren’t that interested in who you are as a person.
If he’s genuinely interested in you, then they’ll know every detail of your life.
You could be talking about anything from your favorite TV show to what you have for breakfast.
A guy in love with you will remember everything. If they remember things and care about what’s going on in your life, then this will be a good sign.
He won’t be able to forget it unless he really doesn’t care about you.
Be careful here though:
Don’t assume that your relationship is going to last because a guy remembers this stuff. This isn’t a reason for him to be in love with you.
8) He compliments you when you’re not wearing makeup
Do you want to know if a guy loves you? Find out if he compliments you when you’re not wearing makeup.
If a guy really cares about your appearance, then they’re going to compliment your natural beauty when it is not on display.
If he doesn’t like the way you look with makeup on and he still compliments you, then that’s not a good sign. This can be because of his own insecurity or fear that something will happen to him.
He’ll be trying to make you feel good about yourself. He won’t be complimenting you in order to avoid hurting your feelings, but because he genuinely likes the way you look when you have no makeup on.
If this is the case, then this is a good sign that he really cares about you.
If a guy isn’t comfortable with their own appearance or can accept what they look like, then there’s probably no real relationship at all.
9) He’s sensitive to your needs
There are two kinds of men in this world: those who love you back and those who don’t.
Strong, confident men can be disarmed by a woman’s vulnerability. When she reveals her ‘true self’ to him, he wants to protect her and take care of her.
He feels that it is his responsibility to help her feel better. He listens to her without judgment and he wants only the best for her.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to love you more.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
10) He thinks your annoying habits are cute
Do you want to know if a guy loves you? Find out if he thinks your annoying habits are cute.
If a guy is going to be in this relationship with you, they better be prepared to deal with your annoying habits.
It defines who we are as individuals and it’s something that isn’t changing anytime soon.
A guy in love with you will accept your annoying habits. If he doesn’t, then that’s a sign to look for a new relationship.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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He should laugh at your jokes and accept how you like to do things. If he can’t handle some of the things that you do, then it means they don’t want to be with you.
11) He doesn’t change for you but he makes himself better for you
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to change yourself because you want your partner to like you.
But what if they don’t? What if they don’t think that you have anything to offer them?
If you make yourself into something that you aren’t in order for him to love you back, then this isn’t a good sign.
It’s important not to change yourself in order to please a guy but it’s ok to make yourself better.
For example, you like going on hikes but he doesn’t. If you want him to go with you, then you might suggest doing something else that he likes to do.
If he does this for you, then this is a good sign.
You don’t want to be with someone who is in love with you if they are changing for the worst. If a guy is changing for the better, then that’s a good sign he’s in love with you.
If he treats you differently and makes himself better, then it means that he’s committed and cares about what you have to say.
He won’t be rejecting you but actually accepting anything that is said to him.
12) He wants you to hang out with his friends
This is a big one. If a guy is in love with you, he’s going to want you to be friends with his friends.
They’re going to be there to talk to you when you need someone to listen. They’re going to be a shoulder to cry on if they aren’t just as significant as others.
They also happen to be a great source of feedback and advice regarding your relationship as well.
Think about it:
If they don’t want you to hang out with their friends, then they aren’t ready for a relationship.
Men who are in love with their significant others are proud that they have found the one.
If he wants you around his friends, then this is a great sign that he loves you back.
13) He always smiles when seeing you
This is possibly the simplest (but silliest) sign of being in love with you.
Yes, a guy might be attracted to your looks and beauty but also your personality. But if he loves you, then he’s going to smile when you’re around.
He’s going to want you there and want to make sure that you are happy.
He’ll notice that you have a bad day but will do anything he can to cheer you up. He’ll be the guy that won’t leave your side and will make sure that you feel better.
He’ll give you whatever you need and show a sense of kindness that is hard to find in other guys.
A smile might mean nothing for most of us but for him, it means so much more than just seeing his face light up.
14) He makes you dinner after a bad day
It’s one of the hardest things to do but a guy who truly loves you is going to make you dinner after a bad day.
He’s going to comfort you and make sure that you are having a meal filled with love. He’s not going to leave you alone after telling him how badly you had a bad day.
Those feelings aren’t forgotten, especially by someone who is in love with you.
You might have known this already, but:
The small things are important because they relate back to being sensitive to what you need.
If a guy is in love with you, he’ll make sure that you feel comfortable and warm.
He’s not going to just leave you by yourself after a bad day. This is important because it shows how much he cares about your feelings and how he wants to make you feel better.
15) You are his priority
If a guy has you as his priority, then it means that you are someone who will be with him for a long time.
He’ll be thinking of what’s important to you, who he should spend his time with, and how he can make sure that your relationship is going to work.
A guy in love with you won’t just want to cherish the moment but look forward because he knows that there will be issues and things that come up.
He will want to make sure that you are happy and feel good. He’ll want to hold your hand and get you whatever he can.
It will be a priority for both of you because he is willing to do anything that he needs to in order for you to be happy.
He can find someone who has what you require but will stop there if the attraction isn’t there. He won’t settle for anything less because this is love.
16) He is making plans for your future
A guy who loves you is going to do all he can to make sure that your future is bright.
If you ever have a relationship concern, he will look into what he can do in order to help you. He’ll want to be there for you and answer any questions that arise.
He will look into how he can make things better and help in any way possible because that’s what being in a committed relationship means.
Being in love is knowing what it means to give everything and then some more.
When you are in love with someone, you start thinking about different things.
You start to think about having a family or one day traveling the world. You think about buying a house together and starting a family.
They don’t just want to be with you forever and that’s it. They want to make sure that they have planned the future that is going to be amazing for both of you.
17) He wants to be close to you
A guy who loves the woman he is with will want to be close to her. He’ll want to hold her hand and touch you every chance that he gets.
You might have different insecurities that you try to keep under wrap. If he wants to be physically close, then it means that he’s comfortable with you and your body.
If he loves you, then he wants to be close to all of your beauty and will show how much he values all of it.
He’s not going to care about any insecurity you have because everything is what it is.
He won’t just be around you but will want to be as close as possible.
He won’t rest until he knows that you are doing well and makes sure that you are comfortable.
When a guy is in love with someone, he wants to make sure that they are feeling good and at ease.
If he wants to hold your hand, then he recognizes that it’s important for you too. He has a good sense of what you need and wants to make sure that you have it.
He knows what it feels like to have his handheld and will do the same in return.
18) He tells his friends about you
A guy who loves you may not want to be the center of attention when it comes to his friends. He’ll want to make sure that his friends are aware of how happy he is with you.
He’ll brag about how great his girlfriend is or how amazing she is, depending on the circumstance.
But if he truly loves her, then he won’t care what others think because they are both in love and that’s all that matters.
If a guy loves you, he will make sure that his friends know about you. He’d want to talk about you and how he feels about you.
He wants to make sure that his friends know that he is with someone special and important.
He should have no problem telling them how happy he is with the girl of his dreams.
He should have no problem telling them details about your relationship and what it means to him.
He’ll be the one to get jealous if someone says anything against you and wants to make sure that they are protected from any negativity.
19) He gets a little jealous
Jealousy is one of the most difficult emotions for men to handle. The reason women are able to handle it better is because they have their own version of it.
It is an emotion that makes a woman feel like she is the only thing that matters to someone. A guy will want to be jealous of other people for you.
If you are with someone, that means that he feels like you are all he wants in life. He doesn’t want anyone to be able to take away what he has and make him feel incomplete.
Do you know why?
It’s called love. She feels jealous when she sees you with another girl and jealous when you see another girl with her man.
If a guy truly loves you, he’ll be jealous if you go out with a separated man and come home with him.
And if he doesn’t love you, then he’ll go out and get himself some woman on the side. That’s just how men are wired.
20) He plans special and romantic dates ahead of time
A man who loves you will plan dates to show how much he cares about you. He’ll want to take you out and treat you like a lady.
He knows that taking you out is one of the best ways to show that he loves and cares for you.
He wants to make sure that he doesn’t disappoint or scare the other person away because that would be a shame.
He’ll want to make sure that you feel special and know how much he thinks about you. That is why he plans dates in advance so that he can make things as special as possible.
He will make sure that you are satisfied with the date and he wants to make it worth your while. It will be one of the most romantic dates of your life.
Planning a date shows that you have put some serious thought into it.
A guy who truly loves will not only want you in his life but he wants to make things special.
By now you should have a good idea of 20 secret signs a man loves you.
So what can you do to make him yours?
Well, I mentioned the unique concept of the hero instinct earlier. It’s revolutionized the way I understand how men work in relationships.
You see, when you trigger a man’s hero instinct, all those emotional walls come down. He feels better in himself and he’ll naturally begin to associate those good feelings with you.
And it’s all down to knowing how to trigger these innate drivers that motivate men to love, commit, and protect.
So if you’re ready to take your relationship to that level, be sure to check out James Bauer’s incredible advice.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder