Some might call you an introvert — others shy or reserved. But these words don’t quite fit you, do they? There’s something more to who you are. You could be a lone wolf.
How do you find out? Well, there are 15 traits that can tell you if you have the lone wolf personality. Keep on reading to find out what they are.
1) You know yourself really well
If you have a lone wolf personality, you know yourself really well. In other words, you’re well aware of both your positive and your negative traits.
You know where your strengths lie. You are confident that others can rely on you for certain things, and that you can deliver on what you promise.
But you also know your limitations. You know what you can’t promise people, because you’d not only fall short – you’d fall totally fiat on your face. This is just as important as recognizing your strengths.
You understand your emotions and where they come from. You don’t deny your feelings, deceive yourself about them, or cling to them. You don’t sulk in bad emotions, but you also don’t stuff them away. You’re able to understand what triggered them and if you should act on them or not.
And, you’re able to tell what makes you the same as all the other people on the planet, and different from them. You understand your place in the universe.
This is an incredibly powerful trait because you don’t depend on what other people think of you. If someone thinks very highly of you, or very lowly of you, it doesn’t affect who you are. You have an unshakable understanding of yourself, and you can tell when someone recognizes the real you or not.
2) You’re assertive and self-motivated
A lone wolf is self-motivated.
If this is you, then you are driven by your own desires and ambitions. You don’t wait around for others to push you to do something. You also don’t need any kind of external reward.
You also don’t look for validation from anyone else. It doesn’t matter if others think what you’re doing makes sense, or is wrong. The only thing that matters is your own opinion about it.
Being self-motivated is one of the most important skills to be able to reach your dreams. Even if the whole world was against you, you would still chase after what you really want because your motivation comes only from within. This perseverance keeps you going through any obstacle or setback.
As a lone wolf with this trait, you are empowered with real freedom.
3) You’re a creative and original thinker
Lone wolves are both creative and original thinkers.
This means you paint outside the lines and don’t follow the herd. Because you’re self-motivated, you also don’t hesitate to try things that nobody has ever tried before.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you never feel afraid or expect to succeed at everything. You still worry about failing, like everyone else, and occasionally freeze up with self-doubt.
But what sets you apart is that you don’t let this stop you. Rather, you embrace the fear and accept that things might not work out — but so what if they don’t? You’ll have made a mistake, you’ll learn from it, and you’ll move on.
Your creative thinking will also let you find innovative solutions for the challenges you face. You don’t give up at the first sign of trouble. You just put your mind to work and find a way to try to overcome whatever obstacle comes up. And if that doesn’t work, you’ll find another one! You know that your imagination ends only where you believe it does.
Creativity makes lone wolves into very impactful people. You might be a nonconformist who sometimes shocks people with your bold ideas. But you could also change the world in ways that nobody else has ever imagined.
4) You have few but close friends
Being a lone wolf doesn’t mean you’re lonely. On the contrary — you have a small circle of friends that you feel incredibly connected to.
You don’t have hundreds of friends, or even dozens. For this reason, some people might get the false impression that you’re antisocial, or aren’t likable.
But that’s far from the truth. You could hang out with tons of people if you wanted to. But what’s the point? You value the quality of your friends much more than the quantity. You’d rather have a deep conversation that strengthens your connection with someone rather than a night out where you meet a dozen new people but barely get to know them.
You’re very selective about who you let become your friend. This could stem from trust issues from your past. You need time to figure out if you can trust a person, and so you’re careful to open up to them.
But once you do, that person has got a loyal friend for life! For this reason, lone wolves make excellent friends. Anyone who you let in can count themselves really lucky.
5) You like deep conversations over small talk
If you’re a lone wolf, you don’t like small talk. You can’t stand it, actually.
As soon as someone starts chattering about the weather or what they had for lunch, your eyes glaze over and your mind starts to feel misty.
It’s not that you don’t enjoy talking to people. It’s just that it feels pointless. Why waste time discussing trivial things if you’ll both forget about it five minutes later? And if it doesn’t add a single thing to neither of your lives, nor the relationship?
On the other hand, if someone starts a deep discussion with you, you’re drawn in like a moth to a flame. You could keep the conversation going even all night.
When you’re caught in a group conversation, you tend to be one of the most silent participants. You don’t need to talk just for the sake of talking. You don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself, especially if you don’t have anything particularly interesting to contribute to the conversation.
But when you do open your mouth, you leave people floored. As you’re silent most of the time, you save your comments for when you have something of real substance to say.
6) You know exactly what you want from your relationships
As we saw earlier, lone wolves know themselves really well and they keep their friends really close. This means that lone wolves have reflected enough on themselves and what they value in others. As a result, they know exactly what they are looking for in a fulfilling relationship.
This goes for both friendships and intimate relationships. Since you value close connections, you pay attention to if you have clicked with a person or not. You’re also able to recognize pretty quickly if this is the case. Over time, you realize what it is that you need in a person to build a tight bond with them.
Of course, relationships are two-way. You know what you want, but you also care about what your partner wants. It matters to you that you feel just as fulfilling to them as you want them to be for yourself.
This powerful trait makes lone wolves be very respectful and conscious of how they contribute to relationships. You don’t play around with someone if you know it’s not what you’re looking for.
7) You don’t beat around the bush
As someone with a lone wolf personality, you don’t beat around the bush.
You might not even know how to, in fact. Why spend 30 minutes talking about unimportant things when you could just spend 5 on what really matters? You expect people to value your time, and you do the same for them.
This ties into your general dislike of small talk. You may not even reach out to your friends and family unless you feel you have something to say. It feels awkward to just call someone up to ask “what’s up?”
You communicate directly and honestly with people. You’d rather get straight to the point and get it done with than dance around a subject, even if it’s uncomfortable.
People will always know where they stand with you. If you’re unhappy with something, you’ll say it.
This might sometimes lead to you saying some things you shouldn’t. Perhaps some comments come out sounding harsher than you meant. Or maybe you didn’t formulate your thoughts in the most sensitive way.
But in general, this quality makes lone wolves into great communicators. You don’t hide your feelings, squash conversations before they’re done, or play games. People can always expect an honest answer from you, and this makes problem-solving a breeze.
8) You recharge through alone time
A sure sign that you’re a lone wolf is if you recharge through alone time.
You don’t mind being alone. You revel in it. It’s the only time when you can let your thoughts go. After all, that self-knowledge, original thinking, and figuring out what you want from relationships has to happen at some point!
Obviously, you don’t avoid spending time with people at all costs. But you take it in moderation. Although you love spending time with people, especially your close friends, it does take quite a bit of energy.
Spending time in big groups is especially draining. You always end up being drawn to a secluded corner where you can remove yourself from the hectic crowd. Perhaps another lone wolf will join you and huddle up into a deep conversation. It’s almost like a secret “lone wolf” handshake.
But even if nobody comes to talk to you, you don’t mind. You don’t see it as something embarrassing, or judge your self-worth by it. The thought of a weekend spent chilling alone at home doesn’t fill you with dread. Actually, you’d look forward to it all week.
This too is a very important trait. They say you can’t be happy with someone else until you’re comfortable being alone. Lone wolves are much further along this journey.
9) You set clear boundaries
A lone wolf has clear boundaries. If this is you, then you don’t tolerate abuse or betrayal from anyone.
You’re willing to hear someone out and consider their side of the story. But if it’s clear that someone is treating you poorly, the relationship is over for you. You don’t let them cajole you out of your decision or sweet talk you into changing your mind.
This also means you can make a clear distinction between your behavior and that of somebody else. You can recognize when you share responsibility and blame for something. You don’t try to point the finger at someone else when you realize you’re at fault.
But the same idea applies the other way around. You don’t beat yourself up over something that someone else did. You know you’re not responsible for other people’s actions. And also that you can’t force anyone to change.
What you can do is be honest with both yourself and others about what you’ll put up with.
Obviously, this doesn’t mean you cut someone off at the first misstep. As mentioned above, you’re honest and direct, and this helps you talk to people about what you’re willing to put up with. But if you see they’re not able to respect it, you let them push you around.
This may cause you to lose a few friendships. But at the end of the day, you’re all the better for it. The friends you’re left with are ones that 100% only add to your life — and you to theirs.
10) You fight for what you believe in
Lone wolves have the courage and strength to fight for what they believe is right.
The traits mentioned above support this one — especially knowing yourself really well. You’ve taken the time to define what’s important to you.
You’ll never back down from these core values — not for anyone or anything. No amount of peer pressure, scorn, threats, or cajoling can make you compromise what you believe in.
This goes for your loved ones too. If you see someone doing something you believe is unethical, you speak up.
Your inner moral code is an immovable compass. This guides you even through the toughest of your decisions. You can fall back on it when you’re in doubt about what to do.
Like all the traits on this list, this is a huge plus. Your beliefs aren’t easily swayed by others. This reflects positively on all of your relationships. If you value loyalty, you’re loyal through and through. If you value honesty, people know they can always rely on you to be honest.
11) You’re hard to read
Being a lone wolf also means being hard to read.
People might attribute this to different things. Some may call you mysterious, others distant. Yet others might even say cold.
The truth is, you do feel a lot. You just don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re not one to pour your heart out to a stranger on the bus. And maybe not even to people you know.
As we saw earlier, as a lone wolf you have few friends, but the ones you have are very close. These are some of the few people around who you let your guard down. You choose carefully who you divulge your emotions to.
This may feel frustrating to some people. They may misinterpret what you’re thinking, or feel like they can’t talk to you. Thankfully, this is offset by your ability to be direct with people. At the end of the day, you can be easy to read, but only to people who you trust.
12) You’re an excellent listener
Since lone wolves like deep conversations, it’s to be expected that they’re also great listeners.
As we all know, conversations are two-way. If it’s only one person talking the whole time, you might as well talk to a wall! And not listening and reacting to what the other person is saying is none the better.
Deep conversations especially require paying careful attention to the other person’s words. That’s the only way you can build on each other’s thoughts and develop complex arguments.
Of course, your listening skills don’t only apply during philosophical debates. You’re ready and willing to listen during any kind of conversation. Even when it’s uncomfortable.
You hear people out with an open mind, knowing that just because someone says something, doesn’t mean it’s true. And also that even if they don’t say it, they’ll still think it. So you might as well get it all out in the open so that you can be on the same page and discuss what needs to be discussed.
These realizations are a sign of great maturity, and they only lead to good things. No war or conflict ever started because someone listened carefully during a conversation. Therefore, this is a lone wolf personality trait that everyone can appreciate.
13) You’re very observant
Lone wolves are not just great listeners, but they’re also very observant.
Even if you listen to people’s words as closely as you can, you’ll only get part of the story. It’s a well-known fact that the majority of communication is non-verbal, and includes tone, expressions, and posture.
Lone wolves are great at observing things like this. As a result, you often see things others might miss, and understand a message more accurately than anyone else. (Also, texting may feel like the most frustrating thing ever!)
This helps you both be a better listener and have open and direct discussions. You can catch the full meaning of what someone is saying, reading between the lines. You can prompt people to elaborate on something when you get the feeling there’s more to it than they’ve told you.
You’re also conscious of how you use your own tone, posture, and body language in your discussions. You realize the impact this has on the listener, and so you’re careful to convey the right message to a person and not let subconscious signals worsen the conflict.
All in all, being observant improves your communication skills, along with several other powerful traits on this list.
14) You’re trustworthy
A lone wolf personality means that you’re very trustworthy.
You know first hand how much it takes to let someone into your private life. It takes time to gain a person’s trust, especially if they’ve been betrayed before. You certainly don’t take this for granted.
If someone tells you a secret, it’s safe with you forever. If someone shares personal details with you, you keep them to yourself. You don’t gossip about it, even with good intentions. You let each person share what they want to share with who they want to share.
You can also be trusted to keep your word. If you promise something to someone, your word is golden. And if for whatever reason you aren’t able to fulfill your promise, you’re upfront and honest about it as soon as you realize this.
With all this, lone wolves will very rarely break someone’s trust. You appreciate being able to trust other people, and you know how valuable it is to be trusted by others too.
15) You’re authentic
With all of these amazing traits, the lone wolf personality has one more to boot: you’re authentic.
In other words, you don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Your deep self-knowledge makes you fully aware of your shortcomings. Of course, you try to work on these as far as possible. But you don’t try to glaze over them, or fake being a better person. You are who you are, flaws and all.
On the bright side, you’re able to embrace all your positive aspects too – including the many traits on this list. You can take advantage of this to make yourself into the best person you could possibly be.
By now, you should have a pretty good idea if you have a lone wolf personality.
Nobody is perfect, and neither are lone wolves. But as you can see, there are many reasons to be proud to call yourself one. From high self-awareness to creativity and steadfast loyalty, you have lots of powerful traits! These will bring you lots of success and help make your relationships strong and healthy.
I hope you’ve been able to gain a better understanding of who you are, and that this will let you take full advantage of your lone wolf personality.