Is she playing hard to get or not interested?

Dating can be extremely difficult at times. It is not easy to navigate through all the situations and unclear rules.

With so many dating apps, how-to advice, there seems to be a disconnection between the worlds. If you are trying to get together with the girl of your dreams, but you are getting mixed signals, it can drive you nuts!

Here are some tips that can help you understand better if she is playing hard to get or she is simply not interested in you!

9 things she’ll do if she is into you

There are some things that women do to make the guy fall for her more. Every woman has done it at least once in a lifetime.

There is a set of unwritten rules that are simply passed on through generations. Even though the world has changed tremendously, we still tend to come back to a trick or two.

Everything we do is done with the intention of attracting the attention of the man of our interest. When the man we like shows affection, we will push him through an ordeal just to see how he will behave.

If you are not sure what to think anymore, here are some things that a woman will do when she is playing hard to get.

1) She will frequently say she is busy

Well, think about it. Would you be more interested in someone who has a fun life with numerous events lined up or a couch potato?

Normally, most people like to go out, see, and be seen. It gives us the confirmation that we are interesting, valuable, and wanted.

That is a major aphrodisiac and women know it. If the girl you like often tells you that she is busy, but she will try to fit you in her schedule, you can be sure that it is a game.

No one is that busy, trust me. When you want to see someone, you’ll see him, period.

In this case, she is trying to create a fuss around her. When she sees you, you will feel privileged that you got a little bit of her precious time.

It is a game and she is ahead of you at least two steps, minimum.

I’m not saying that staying at home is wrong, but going out and seeing many people creates the fuss. People talk and this is one of the major tricks in the sleeve when it comes to a dating game.

2) She won’t rush to reply to texts

If the girlfriend you would like to date wants to play hard to get, you can be sure that she won’t text you back as soon as you send her a message. It will take a while.

This is because she wants you to think that she is busy with something else and that she is not available every time you need her to be. This tactic is very powerful because you will suddenly realize that you are constantly thinking about the reasons she is not texting you back!

Be careful not to become too obsessed with her. I mean, that is her goal, so don’t fall for that.

Love is great and it can be truly fun, but stringing along is not cool.

Some women will wait for a couple of hours before responding, but others will even wait for a few days and then tell you some incredible story about a broken phone, silent mode, being swamped with work, or any other “incredible” … lie?

3) She teases you

No one likes insults; we are all clear about that. However, if the girl you like says something borderline insulting, but funny thing about your clothes or something that you own, it means that she is trying to attract your attention.

You may even be upset about it in a second or two, but if she throws a smile and adorable blinking, you can be sure that there is more to it. Some girls are simply not willing to be open about their feelings.

There are many reasons for it. Either they were too hurt in the past, or her personality type is simply like that.

Either way, she will give you subtle signs to attract your attention and then simply vanish. This is her way to tickle your imagination and leave you thinking about her as long as possible.

While the signs n this article will help you deal with a girl who’s playing hard to get, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like not knowing if she’s playing hard to get or just not interested. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems. 

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.  

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were. 

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) You won’t get a friend request from her

Social media has become a huge deal lately. People spend a lot of time looking at other people’s posts and photos, but it is also a wonderful tool for communication between lovebirds.

If you were hoping that she will make the first move, think again. The girl who is playing hard to get will never do such a thing.

She will give you hints that she is into you, but she will never do such a bold move such as sending someone a friend request. Even if you send her a friend request, she will wait before she accepts it.

This can be nerve-wracking, but don’t worry; it is all a part of the tactic. Get ready for more.

You can be sure that there will be additional moves that she will pull on you.

5) She will always look flawless

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One thing that attracted you to this girl is probably the looks. And don’t think that she won’t milk this card as long as she can.

She is beautiful and she knows it. She knows that you like her.

What will she do? Well, she will look like a model every time she runs into you.

Are you infatuated by the way her clothes make her curves pop? Is her perfume what you think about all day long?

Congratulations, it is her spell that obviously works on you!

Are you thinking about her day and night?  It means that she wants you to be completely in love with her without a chance to look at other girls before she moves to something more concrete.

6) She gives small hints

Playing hard to get is a tricky game. Only true pros can play it because it is a slippery slope.

It is a fine line between ignoring someone and ignoring someone while giving gentle hints. It is like walking on a string above the abyss.

It is trilling and it raises adrenaline. Some girls like to provoke excitement in this way.

If the girl of your interest touches you slightly, but then she keeps a slight distance, this is part of a game. She will probably touch you with her knee and then slightly blush; looking like it was by accident, you can be sure that it is all part of a plan.

She wants you to want her, but she is looking for your reaction. If you get confused or smile, it will be a small win for her that will show her that you like her.

This is a game where she simply picks up hints so she can be sure that you are worthy of her attention and that she won’t get hurt along the way.

She might mention her favorite place for going out and that will be a hint for you to ask her out. Be careful and take all the chances that she will give you, so you can actually date her.

Since these hints are small and rare, pay attention to your behavior. Are you all ears what she will say next?

Exactly. This was the point all along.

7) You will wait for her often

Beautiful girls are aware of their beauty, you can be sure of that. If she agrees to go on a date with you, you can be sure that she will be late at least 10 minutes.

It is a way for her to tickle your imagination and to see how you react when you are upset. This is an easy way to see if you are truly interested and eager to do everything it takes to be with her.

Even though sometimes it happens that we are late for whatever reason, the girl playing hard to get will make a habit out of this. You can expect it on regular basis.

She simply wants to see you from all angles before she decides to start a relationship with you.

Keep in mind that if she leaves you waiting on a street for an hour, this is not playing hard to get, it is just rude.

8) You will always stay with insufficient information

Not sure what I mean? I think this will sound very familiar.

You ask her if she will show up at the party tonight. She will say something like “I’m not sure I will be able to make it”.

If you ask her what is she so busy with, she will suddenly see someone she knows and she will leave to say hi.

You will always be left with a part of the information, so be ready to feel confused pretty much all the time. It is the tactic where she makes the web and you are the fly that will fall into it.

It is not the most romantic explanation, but it pretty much sums it up. She wants you to be where she wants you.

This is why all of these things are planned carefully to leave you in the dark hoping that you will be able to spend with her a few moments any time.

If you ask her something about her past, she will say a word or two, leaving you in the dark about the rest.

This goes on and on. It applies to every single aspect of your communication.

She constantly leaves you dry about her plans, her day, past relationships, plans for tomorrow, and everything else from the spectrum.

9) Her body language will go in your favor

Sometimes, even if we want to hide some things, our bodies say more than we would like to. However, the girl that wants to play hard to get will probably use her body to show you she is interested in you.

Take a closer look at the things she does when she is around you. Does she put on a lip balm when she is close to you?

She does this to get you to look at her lips. Want to kiss her now?

She will suddenly “need” to rush back to work.

Does she play with her hair until you notice her fingers and hands? Not to mention that your gaze will last longer than usual…

She will probably “receive” a message that she needs to be somewhere else.

As you probably know already, all of the things are done so you can notice her, think about her, and then yearn for her until she decides it is time for the next step.

Here are 5 things you can do

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If you are going crazy already and you simply don’t know what should be your next step, here are some tips that can help you stay sane in this crazy game.

1) Bite the bullet

Being in a situation that you really like the girl, but you cannot get her anywhere near a real relationship, it is time for you to do something bold. If you were texting her so far and you didn’t call her, this may be your first step.

Make sure you call her when she is not at work because there is a huge chance that she will hang up on you pretty quickly.

That is if she even answers. This is why it is necessary to plan carefully when to call her.

There is a big chance that she will be confused by your call, so she may end up saying yes to a date. She may even be more open about her answers.

It is much easier to talk to her when she is not in front of you. That may help you lose the nervousness you feel around her.

Who knows, this may be the best decision you’ve made. It will be a way to let her know how much you like her.

If you are already talking on the phone, then you can ask her to go with you for lunch or dinner. Put your relationship on a bigger level and see what it can become.

2) Ask her out

You may have been everywhere near her trying to catch her attention. You may have tried to talk to her.

However, if all your efforts seem to be in vain, you might need to step up and ask her out. If you have been in contact with her for a while, you probably know what she likes and what she doesn’t like.

Choose to go to a concert, see a movie, or simply ask her to go with you for a cup of coffee if you would like to find out more about her. Pick the option she is most likely to accept and appreciate.

Take this chance to get to know her better, but also to show her what kind of guy you are.

This is the time when you will know where you stand. Depending on her reaction, you can plan your next move.

You can either continue pursuing her or you will realize that it is time to back down.

3) Play the same game

If she constantly ignores your messages, try to do the same to her. She will get the picture, trust me, especially if she started to like you a lot.

This will throw her off her game and give you a chance to make the next move. I know this can all sound so unnecessary.

However, this is the game that has been around much longer than we are on this planet, so just play along.

Try to give her the same treatment equally, so she can taste her own medicine. It can be a bitter pill to swallow, which can shorten the period of this game.

You can also try to ignore her for a few days completely. Her reaction will tell you everything.

If she suddenly starts showing interest more than usual, you will know that you are on the right track.

When she realizes that you won’t back down, she may simplify the strategy or drop it altogether. It will help you to understand better the position you are in.

4) Be honest

If she is playing hard to get for months and you are simply fed up with it, you can try to speak to her honestly. Be calm and confront her about the things she is doing.

Ask her what her plan is and if she thinks to go forward with you. This will surely surprise her.

It can be a risky move and it can go either way. However, it is something that needs to be done if you don’t want to waste time and nerves on something that goes nowhere.

This way, she will know that you are determined to be with her, but that you are not anyone’s puppet. You will either end up with her, which is the goal all along, or she will continue giving vague answers.

This leads us to the next thing that you should do.

5) Show her that you want her respect

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Women like to play and we always test the field to see how far a man will let us. If the girl you want is playing with your feelings and she is not willing to tell you honestly about her intentions, let her know how you feel.

Show her that you’d appreciate some respect because you value your time and emotions, as much as you value her as a human being. Showing her that you don’t want to be played will make her come to her senses if she is in love with you or she will back down.

Either way, it is a win-win situation. Being led on may be the most confusing situation there is, so make sure you show her that you have dignity.

8 things that mean she is not interested in you

Sometimes when a girl is not responding to you the way you would want her to may mean that she is simply not interested. This may not be easy to understand, because the signals are so confusing, but it will help you for sure!

1) It takes days for her to respond

If a girl doesn’t respond to your messages after a few minutes or hours, but days, this is a clear sign that she is not interested at all. She may be just responding out of politeness or just to keep you interested in her.

If you write a long message telling her about your day and asking her something, but she responds with ok or yeah, this is a pretty clear message.

Her few words answer is not affectionate at all. This is a hint for you to stop giving your time to her.

2) She plays a hot-cold game

Some people are not mature enough for a relationship, which is a fact. Even though we sometimes cannot see it that way, it is the truth.

It takes maturity for a person to be able to commit to another person in a relationship. If the girl you like acts all affectionate one day and then acts like she doesn’t know you next time you see her, this is a red flag that you should stay away.

There is a fine line between playing the game and being rude. Some girls simply think they are a gift to the world and that everyone should be so happy to breathe the air near them.

Should I say it? This is the behavior of someone conceited who simply doesn’t respect others enough to be in a serious relationship.

3) She is harsh to you

If your every move is harshly stopped, then this girl doesn’t want you to get any wrong ideas that she may be interested in you or that you have a chance.

She will give you a cold look every time you try to be funny and make her laugh. Your every invitation will be cut in the root, by saying that she doesn’t have time.

She won’t even try to tell you nicely. If the girl is not making an effort to be polite at least, this is a signal that you should move on.

4) She will say that you are friends

Whenever you talk to the girl you like, she will say something like “I am so glad we are friends” or “You are such a good friend”.

This means that she doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea and think that you may have a chance with her. She wants to keep you in the friend zone.

This is a polite way to show you that she appreciates you as a person and would like to spend time with you, but without crossing the line. This way may sound harsh to you, but it is actually one of the most honest ways to show someone that you are not willing to start a relationship.

Some people simply don’t click emotionally and some friendships are born this way. If you think you could truly be friends with her, then that is great.

If not, that is ok too. Just make sure you are honest about it.

Don’t get mad because you are rejected. It is not a pleasant situation, but it is not the end of the world either.

5) She rejects physical contact of any kind

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When you like someone, you want to touch them pretty much all the time. However, when there is no physical attraction, not even a little bit, people tend to avoid any kind of physical contact.

Pay attention to the way the girl you like behaves around you. Does she pull away even if you want to come closer to tell her something?

If this is the case, I’ve got some news for you – she is not into you and wants to show it to you clearly. This is not playing hard to get for sure.

6) She doesn’t introduce you to anyone

If you spend time with a girl, you expect her to introduce you to her family and friends. However, what happens when she doesn’t want to do that?

Well, look at it with a cool head. Be careful about the way she talks about you and does she even mentions you in front of others.

Does she say that you are a friend, colleague, or does she even avoid saying your name to her friends? If she avoids introducing you every time someone from her close circle of people comes near, it is not a very good sign.

This is a major red flag that shows that she does not see you in her future and that she is not serious at all about starting a relationship with you.

Introducing someone to family and friends is a very important step in every relationship. If you notice that the girl you like is not willing to do it, it is time for you to think about your other options.

7) She never invites you to anything

As previously mentioned, there is a situation when a girl may play hard to get by not initiating anything first. However, there is also this situation when she doesn’t give any hints and is very restrictive concerning the information she is sharing.

If it seems that you are not getting any information about the places she likes to go to or the movies she likes to watch, concerts she would love to see, then you must prepare yourself for the cold truth – nothing is going to happen between you.

Even if it happened so far, it is not going to develop much in the direction you would like it to go. Behaving like this gives a message that she is not willing to invest her time into the relationship and that she is only stringing you along.

8) She gets weird when you talk about the future

The normal thing for couples in love is to look forward to the future and make plans. This is an enjoyable activity for the people who are truly willing to commit.

On the other hand, avoiding this subject or talking about anything else should give you a clear signal that your crush doesn’t see you in her plans. Maybe she is just hanging out with you so she is not alone or whatever the reason may be.

If you are not sure what she truly thinks of you and your relationship, start talking about going on a holiday together. Look at her reaction, because it will tell you everything you need to know.

What can you do?

Realizing that someone does not like you or want to be with you can be pretty painful. We can sometimes be too invested to even understand what is going on.

However, if you notice that you are not getting what you want and you are just a puppet in this story, here are some things you could do.

Cut off all ties

This may sound harsh, but this may be the best thing you can do. It is the best way to protect your feelings from someone who is not taking them seriously.

Don’t call, don’t write, and avoid places where you can see her. It can be pretty challenging at first, but protecting yourself is a priority.

Don’t fall for her apologies. If you notice that she is just contacting you so she can have you for her fun, rise above the situation.

Be polite, but firm

Let her know that this is not a way to treat people. Not liking someone is ok, but being rude, harsh, or vague is hurtful.

Simply let her know that you are not anyone’s toy that she can play with. She will respect you more and won’t bother you anymore.

Look at the broader picture. Sometimes we are too invested in something, that we simply cannot see anything outside of it.

Look at everything from the bright side. Maybe there is a friend or an acquaintance that would be a better fit for you.

Final thoughts – what now?

Relationships can be truly confusing sometimes. Finding a soul mate in this society can feel like a never-ending search.

Even though it can be tricky to find someone who will be good for you, it is possible. Keep in mind that being confident, honest, and respectful goes a long way.

This all relates back to the incredible advice I learned from Kate Spring.

She is a relationship expert who has transformed dating and relationships for thousands of men.

One of the most valuable things she teaches is this:

Women don’t choose the guy who will treat them the best. They choose guys they are deeply attracted to at a biological level.

Women don’t like assholes because they’re assholes. They like assholes because those guys are confident and they give off the right signals to them. The sort of signals a woman can’t resist.

What if I told you that you could quickly learn the right signals to give to women – and you absolutely don’t need to become an asshole in the process?

Check out this free video by Kate Spring.

She reveals the most effective method I’ve come across to make women obsessed with you (whilst remaining a good guy).

Picture of Azra Jovicic

Azra Jovicic

I am Azra Jovicic and I love writing about psychology and wellness. I am just trying to make the sense of the world and share with others the things I’ve found out.

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