Texting is easy, anyone can do it. Even my grandma knows how to text (and she’s 80)
But texting to keep a guy intrigued and excited is something else, it’s almost an art.
Is there a guy that you like that seems to be losing interest?
Follow these 15 texting rules I’ve put together and you’ll get him interested again in no time!
Let’s jump right in:
1) Be creative in your texts
If you want to get him interested again, don’t be lazy with your texts.
Don’t just write “Hey” or “How you doin’?”.
You’re probably not the only person he’s getting texts from, maybe you’re not even the only girl he’s texting, so you want to make sure that your messages POP out.
You want messages that make him take notice and get his heart racing.
For example, you could start a text with, “Hey there handsome, I had a dream about you” or “Hi there stud, I’ve been thinking about you all day. Would you like to go out with me this weekend?”
You get the idea.
There are tons of creative and easy ways to write a good text message!
2) Keep it short so he doesn’t get bored
Don’t go on and on in your text. While you don’t want to write one or two-word texts, you don’t want him to get bored either.
This is probably the simplest and most effective way to get a guy interested again.
Cut any text that is more than 3-4 sentences long. Anything longer than that is usually just an annoyance and risks pushing him away even more.
3) Send him funny texts
Use humor to make your texts stand out.
You don’t need to be the next Sarah Silverman.
The point is that you want to make him laugh. You want him to make positive associations with your texts.
If you’re not able to come up with funny texts on your own yet, don’t be afraid to send him a few funny ones that you’ve seen on the internet or on a TV show.
It’s that simple!
4) Make him feel needed
If you want to get him interested again fast through text, then you want him to feel needed.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including exactly how to trigger it in your man.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
5) Don’t ask him where he’s going or when he’s coming back
If you want to get him interested again, don’t be checking up on him.
This is a huge turn-off for guys.
Ask your guy friends, they’ll tell you how tired they are of the same old questions girls ask them all the time.
For example, “Where were you last night? I went by your place but you weren’t there.”
So don’t ask him any of those questions because you’ll probably end up pushing him away.
Instead, opt for random questions or fun questions, keep it casual.
For example, you could say, “Hey handsome, how do you feel about going to a crazy dance next Friday night?
See what I mean?
Don’t act like his mamma, he’s a grown boy and doesn’t need you checking up on him.
6) Don’t text him too often
If you want to get him interested again, you have to make sure that you don’t text him so much that it becomes a burden for him.
It’s fine to ask him how he’s doing or tell him about something funny that you saw on TV, but keep it simple and light.
Don’t overdo it with the texting.
And if you have something really important to say, then give him a call.
Give him a chance to breathe in-between texting. A chance to miss you.
7) Show him that you have a life that doesn’t include him
When he texts you to meet up, don’t always say “yes”.
Think about this for a moment:
You don’t want to appear too eager!
Instead, tell him that you have plans. Suggest another time.
Show him that you have a life outside of your relationship with him.
And don’t just pretend, if you don’t have a life, get one!
Don’t sit around waiting for him to get in touch.
Go out with your friends. Pursue your hobbies. Do stuff that makes you happy.
He’ll come running to you once he sees how fulfilled you are.
8) Be positive
Be positive in your text messages. Even if you’re having a bad day, try to talk about something good that happened.
Because it will get him smiling and thinking of you.
For example, “I just came home from my workout at the gym. I felt so energized and relaxed. It was so invigorating.” or “I found out my dog is having puppies soon, I’m super excited! What a day!”
You want him to make positive associations with your text messages. He might not even realize what he’s doing, but through the power of association, you can get him interested in you again!.
You don’t want him to see a text from you and go, “Oh no, what’s the matter with her now?”
9) Don’t be too quick to respond
When he sends you a text message, wait a while before replying. A good rule of thumb is to wait an hour.
This will get him thinking and build the suspense, “Why isn’t she replying? What is she so busy doing?”
He might even send you another text to make sure you got the first one.
10) Don’t be too needy in your texts
Here’s the truth:
Guys are not attracted to needy girls.
They can get a little weird about being questioned. If you’re constantly asking him where he is or what he’s doing… he’s gonna get tired of it!
If you want to get him back, let him know how important he is to you in a way that doesn’t sound too needy.
For example, you could say “Hey did you see the billboard for the new Coen brothers movie? I hope that you had a great day!” or “I’ve had an amazing day and am just getting home from work. How was your day?”
See what I mean? keep it casual.
I learned this from relationship expert Amy North. In her excellent free video, you’ll learn about her life-changing solution for dealing with emotionally unavailable men.
Amy North’s techniques work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.
If you want science-based techniques to make a man fall in love with you, this video is well worth checking out.
11) Don’t text him if you’re in a bad mood
If you’re in a bad mood, don’t text him.
This will create negative associations for him about your texts, and maybe even make him feel that his texts are always unwelcome.
Maybe he’s the reason you’re in a bad mood, maybe not.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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It’s never a good idea to text or call when you’re mad. You should always have a cool head so that you can calmly communicate your feelings.
If you want to ease the tension, try taking a walk or going for a run instead of texting.
Only text him once you’re relaxed and you’ve let off some steam.
12) Don’t text him if you have nothing to say
Don’t text him to make small talk.
After a while, small talk becomes boring and pointless.
If you can’t come up with anything interesting to say, do yourself a favor and don’t text him.
A good rule of thumb is to don’t text him if you have nothing to say.
13) Send him a cute picture of you
Send him a cute picture of you from time to time.
Nothing too revealing, just enough to make him want to pick up the phone and ask you out on a date.
If you’re not sure what picture would be most attractive to him, send him one of yourself wearing something cute or sexy.
14) Be the one to end the conversation on occasion
Do you sometimes find that you’re having fun texting each other and suddenly he tells you that he has to go?
It sucks, I know.
If you want to keep him interested, make sure to be the one to end the conversation from time to time.
Let him be the one left wondering. Leave him wanting more.
Don’t be afraid to play a little “text hard to get”.
Be the one who has to stop texting because you need to be someplace for a change.
What’s more, try ending the conversation when it’s the most interesting.
It’s that easy.
15) Ask for his opinion
If you want to keep the conversation going and get him interested again, ask him for his opinion on something.
Let him know that you appreciate his input and knowledge on things that you’re interested in.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to get interested in you again.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
16) Be spontaneous and vary the times that you text each other
It’s nice to be spontaneous and try new things. It’s how people build a connection.
The problem is that if you’re being too predictable, he’s going to lose interest.
Spontaneousness is the essence of what makes him want to keep talking to you.
If you find that he’s not responding or that he’s becoming bored with your conversation, try changing up the pattern. Text him every other day instead of every day and vary the times that you text each other.
How to get your relationship back on track
Does it ever feel like your relationship is in a rut?
Do you think your partner is losing interest?
Are you wondering what you can do to get your relationship back to what it was?
Here are 11 ways to keep your partner interested and get your relationship back on track!
1) Make sure you are always there for your partner during difficult times.
If your relationship hasn’t been going too great, you need to remind your partner that you’re there for them.
Maybe they’re going through a tough time at work or have something else going on, or maybe there’s nothing in particular, but telling them that you are there and will always be there for them, no matter what will remind them of why they fell in love with you in the first place.
It can be something as simple as telling them, “I love you and I’m here for you”.
2) Bring some fun back into the relationship
Don’t be afraid to joke around and have fun with your partner.
If your relationship has gotten a little stale, it’s time to have some fun.
- Go to the movies.
- Go dancing at a club.
- Laugh together.
What people often don’t realize is that laughter is the best medicine.
Not only does laughter make you feel good, but it boosts your immune system and helps you deal with the daily stresses of life better.
3) Create a special night for the two of you and make sure it’s not just a regular night.
Create a special night for the two of you, whether it is a date or something else.
This will help to remind your partner that you are a special couple as well as give you a chance to get to know each other all over again.
4) If there are areas of your relationship that are missing, take the time out and make sure that you deal with these issues.
If any parts of your relationship have gotten stagnant it’s time to fix them.
I know it’s not easy to bring up these issues, especially if you are afraid they will hurt your partner’s feelings. But it’s important not to ignore them.
Try to bring them up in a way that fits the situation, such as saying “I think I am feeling disconnected from the relationship lately”.
This will not only make you feel better about the issue at hand, but it will give your partner a chance to address it before things get further out of hand.
5) Let go of the past
Don’t let past issues affect present-day problems. Nothing good gets accomplished when we dwell on past events.
What is done is done and what can’t be changed can be forgotten about or put into perspective for future gain.
In order to have a healthy and happy relationship going forward, you need to let go of the past.
6) Spend quality time with your partner
If your relationship is starting to feel stale, it’s important to make sure that you spend quality time with your partner.
This doesn’t have to be all the time. That’s simply not possible for anyone.
But make sure you have a fun activity planned that involves doing something that you both like.
And don’t forget the little things.
Play scrabble. Cook together. Watch the sunset.
Set aside time to stop and smell the roses and remember why you fell in love with your partner to begin with.
7) Cherish all your memories
A lot of people get so caught up thinking about what their relationship is missing, but it’s important to remember all the good things about it as well and cherish them!
This can be something as simple as looking back at photos from when you first got together or getting sentimental over a special moment.
Both of these are great ways to let yourself feel good about your relationship and get your partner to take an interest again.
8) Stay calm
I know it can be difficult but if you’re having problems in your relationship, try to talk about them without getting overly emotional.
In my experience, when you get upset, it can make things worse and while emotions are a part of any relationship they should not be the driving force behind your problems.
If something is bothering you, talk with your partner without letting your emotions get the best of you.
Stay calm, don’t rush to any decisions, and take your time.
Small problems in the relationship can become bigger ones without any help from you.
9) Work on your communication
If you are having trouble communicating with your partner, then have a talk about it and see if you both can find ways to communicate better.
This doesn’t have to be dramatic at all, just make sure that you can talk about everything that goes on in the relationship.
Don’t take the “I don’t want to talk about it” excuse anymore! You might be surprised that these conversations come with some surprisingly good solutions!
You see, it’s important to work on your communication, especially if there is some tension between you guys.
10) Practice kindness towards one another
When you show kindness towards your partner, it’ll be easier for them to show kindness back. It’s important that you are both kind to each other as well!
Out of all the things you can work on in your relationship, this is the one that I find to be the most crucial.
Kindness goes a long way and if used correctly can make a relationship.
Treat each other the way that you want to be treated. Be kind to one another. Be patient. Be loving and forgiving.
11) Take care of yourself
Remember to take care of yourself.
You can’t work on your relationship with your partner if you’re not working on yourself.
- Get enough sleep
- Don’t eat unhealthy food or drink too much
- Take the time to exercise
- And if you do have a hobby or favorite activity, make sure to pursue it
Get your rest and recharge yourself from the inside out so that when you are with your partner, you will both be in good condition.
It’s hard enough being in a relationship with someone else, but it’s even harder when you’re both not taking care of yourselves for each other.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder