Getting caught in a friend zone can be disheartening and leave you feeling confused.
You like this guy, but you’re not sure if he likes you back, at least not in a romantic way.
He’s so nice to you, but that may just be because he wants to remain your friend.
If you’ve found yourself in this situation before, know that you are definitely not alone!
Here are ten reasons why he might like you but doesn’t want a relationship right now…and what to do about it if any of these sound familiar.
1) He’s just not that into you
This one’s pretty cut and dry. He just doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about him.
It’s not a reflection on you personally, and it doesn’t make him a bad person in any way.
It’s just how things go sometimes! If he doesn’t want to date you, you can’t really do anything to change his mind.
In this situation, it’s best to just let it go and move on. Keep your friendship, and just be grateful that he didn’t lead you on.
You see, some guys wouldn’t be so courteous to just let you know right away that they don’t want to date you.
They would just drag out the situation and make you feel more and more confused about what’s happening between the two of you.
But if you know for a fact that he doesn’t want a relationship with you, the simplest explanation is that he’s just not that into you.
Now: this can range from looks to personality, to simply having different lifestyles – it’s really hard to pinpoint why someone might not be into you.
But if he’s not interested, he’s not interested.
In that case, it’s up to you to decide if you can be friends with him or if that hurts your feelings.
But sometimes, his decision might be based on looks:
2) He doesn’t think you’re his type, but he still really likes hanging out with you
If a guy really likes you, he’ll also want to take it to the next level and be your boyfriend.
If he doesn’t pursue anything romantic with you, then it’s likely that he just doesn’t see you as his type, or he’s hesitant to get into a relationship because of something else going on in his life.
The thing is, even though looks might not be a priority for you, they still are a big part of attraction and frankly, we can’t just ignore that!
Sometimes a girl might be really great, but just not his type.
If he’s being honest with himself, he’ll want to stay friends with you and hang out with you, but it’s unlikely that he’ll want to date you. It’s a bummer, but it happens!
If he doesn’t want to date you, you can’t really do anything to change his mind. He just doesn’t see you as his type, no matter how hard you try.
In this situation, it’s best to just let it go and move on. Keep your friendship, and just be grateful that he didn’t lead you on.
The most important thing to do in that situation is to remember that just because you aren’t his type says nothing about how attractive you are.
For example, I just don’t find blond guys very attractive for me. Do I think they can look incredibly handsome? Sure!
I can definitely appreciate that they look very good, but they’re just not my type and therefore I don’t feel attracted to them.
Now: just because I feel no physical attraction to them doesn’t mean they aren’t attractive, you know? It could be the same in your situation!
Everyone has a different type and that’s okay.
If a guy loves your personality but you simply aren’t his type, he probably won’t want a relationship.
Don’t take it personally and just decide if you want to stay friends!
But sometimes, something else is the reason:
3) He’s currently in a relationship and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings
If he’s in a committed relationship, he might not want to lead you on and hurt your feelings.
He knows that you like him as more than a friend, and he doesn’t want to cause you any pain or make you feel disrespected in any way.
He’s a nice guy, so he wants to be respectful of you and your feelings.
He may not be looking for anything serious, but he cares about you as a friend and doesn’t want to let you down.
In this situation, you can try to be respectful of his current relationship and back off.
Alternatively, you can just be happy with being his friend and wait to see what happens with his relationship, whatever that may be.
Now: I will admit that this one is unlikely if you know this guy pretty well. In that case, you’d probably know about the relationship.
What’s more, even if a guy was in a relationship and used that as a reason to only be friends with you, he’d probably mention it.
However, it is quite a common reason why a guy might like you as a person but not want to pursue a relationship by any means!
Or maybe you’re just a friend to him:
4) He does like you, but only as a friend right now
If he really likes you, he may not want to date you because he wants to stay friends with you.
This doesn’t mean he is uninterested in you, but it may be that he’s not ready for a relationship yet.
He may be going through a lot of challenges in his life, and he doesn’t want a romantic relationship to complicate things.
You can try to be patient and see if his feelings change over time. Be patient with him and his feelings, and don’t pressure him into anything he doesn’t want.
However, if he tells you that he only likes you as a friend, I really wouldn’t bet on the patience card. Instead, move on and appreciate him as a good friend.
Maybe in the future, he’ll change his mind and you can be together. But for now, if he’s telling you that he doesn’t want to date you, just accept it and move on.
The thing is, some guys will find it fun and easy to hang out with a girl, but she’s just not the kind of woman they are attracted to!
For example, let’s say you’re really into video games and not a lot of girly stuff.
Some guys will love hanging out with you because you share similar interests and it’s fun to be with you, but they see you more as a buddy than a partner, because they like dating girly girls.
Does that make sense?
Sometimes, we look for something different in a partner than we do in a friend.
If that sounds confusing to you, there are certain people we are attracted to, usually, this can have something to do with our core energies (masculine or feminine).
Knowing what core energy you have or who you desire as your partner can really help you to attract the right person to you!
But going through this process alone can be rough, which is why I recommend talking to someone from Relationship Hero.
They are super skilled and experienced relationship coaches that will help you out when you need it and explain why this guy might not want a relationship with you.
But of course, there might just be an ex haunting his feelings:
5) He still has feelings for an ex
If he likes you but doesn’t want to date you, he may have unresolved feelings for an ex.
No matter how much time has passed since the break-up, he may still be hung up on his ex and not ready to date anyone else.
He may be trying to move on, but he hasn’t found anyone new yet.
You see, he may really like you, but he’s just not ready to be in a relationship yet. He may want to be friends with you, but he’ll likely keep his feelings for his ex a secret from you because he is embarrassed about still being hung up on them.
In this situation, you can be patient and wait for him to move on from his ex.
But more realistically, you should move on, at least from hoping for a romantic future.
The thing is, if you couldn’t get him to move on from his feelings for his ex, then you are most likely just not meant to be.
It’s not because you’re not pretty enough, not smart enough, or anything like that.
It’s because you’re two different people with two different goals.
If he still has feelings for his ex, then he is most likely not ready to date anyone and doesn’t want to be in a relationship at this time.
Just realize that you will find someone else who is ready for a relationship and you should move on from him.
But don’t let this discourage you from dating! You’ll find someone else who likes you for who you are!
Now, this next one might sting a little, but it’s, unfortunately, a thing:
6) He is waiting for someone better to come along
He’s not opposed to dating you, but he’s just not interested in dating you right now.
He’s waiting for someone better to come along. He may be trying to be picky and wait for the right person, or he may be trying to avoid settling down with someone who isn’t perfect for him.
He also may be trying to avoid hurting your feelings by dating you and then breaking up with you.
You see, he wants to be respectful and not hurt your feelings, so he’s just keeping his options open.
The thing is, with our current dating culture, this is a pretty common problem.
In the age of dating apps, it seems so easy to have someone newer and better at your disposal at all times.
It seems like the perfect solution to be able to have a steady stream of dates, but it’s actually making it harder for people to date.
With dating apps, you’re bombarded with so many options that you never get a chance to settle down and get serious about someone. You might be looking for “the one,” but your dating life is filled with “the ones.”
So, it’s not that he doesn’t like you or that he doesn’t want to date you. It’s just that he’s waiting for someone better or more perfect than you.
This is why we say not to take it personally. He isn’t trying to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad; he just isn’t ready for a relationship right now and thinks there may be someone better out there.
Trust me with one thing: that’s not someone you’d want to date anyway! You want to feel like the one and only option for someone!
But that could also be because he’s unavailable:
7) He is emotionally unavailable
He may have feelings for you, but he’s not emotionally available for a relationship because of something else going on in his life.
He may be going through a hard time and just not be able to give you the attention you deserve. He may have unresolved feelings from his past, or something else may be holding him back.
You see, he may be trying to work through these issues and not be ready for a relationship. In this situation, you can be patient and wait for him to be ready to be in a relationship.
There are actually tons of people nowadays who are emotionally unavailable – they like dating around but they don’t want anything too intimate or close.
I learned this from Relationship Hero. I mentioned them earlier, they are amazing when it comes to giving advice to people!
The thing is, when someone is emotionally unavailable, you will go crazy trying to convince them to like you.
Instead, it’s much better to move on and leave that behind you.
Click here if you need some assistance with that, it’s not always easy to move on and take your life in your own hands!
Sometimes, he’s just emotionally unavailable to you…
8) He has feelings for someone else
He may like you, but he also has feelings for someone else.
He may be trying to figure out what those feelings mean, or he may just be confused.
You see, when a guy has a crush or is in love with someone else, then the other girls in his life are just friends and there is no way for him to see them any other way.
He likes you, but he’s also got feelings for another girl and there is nothing you can do about it.
The thing is, you don’t want to try to convince him to like you instead, that won’t end well.
Trust me, if a guy has made up his mind, that’s it.
Plus, the reason he doesn’t like you in that way might be something really simple:
9) There’s just no spark between you guys
Sometimes you just don’t click romantically.
You both may really like each other as friends, but you just don’t feel any chemistry or sparks when you’re together.
He may be waiting for those sparks to come, or he may just not be attracted to you.
In this situation, you can try to be patient and see if anything changes or sparks start flying between you two, or you just move on.
You see, it’s really important that you are honest with yourself here: usually, we notice when there aren’t any sparks!
If you’re trying to convince yourself that there are sparks or that he’s interested in you when there really aren’t any, then that’s not a good idea because we can all tell the difference between real sparks and fake ones.
You might be trying to convince yourself because of wishful thinking, but try to see the situation for what it truly is and just move on!
Let’s be real here:
10) He may just not be interested in you in any way
He may just be a really busy guy who is focused on his own life and has no interest in dating you.
He may just not be attracted to you or not interested in you.
He may think you’re nice and a great person, but he just doesn’t feel a romantic connection with you.
It’s possible that he’s just not interested in you in any way.
In this situation, you can be patient and see if anything changes with him. You can also just be happy with being friends and focus on finding someone who is interested in you.
The thing is, if he doesn’t want a relationship with you that should be all the reason for you to lose interest as well!
Friendzoned relationships can be frustrating, but the truth is, there’s really nothing you can do to change the situation.
You can’t force someone to like you romantically if they don’t want to, no matter how much you try.
And if you feel like you can’t move on, ask yourself why you want someone who doesn’t show any romantic interest in you.
Oftentimes, that’s a much better question to ask!
Why? Because it can be deeply rooted in your feelings of self-worth or beliefs around relationships.
I recommend finding support to truly understand why you might be drawn to someone who doesn’t want to commit to you.
If you need a place to start, I can highly recommend this free masterclass that will help you get to the core of your patterns and wounds around relationships.
Going through the exercises really helped me to see where my past pain around relationships and intimacy was causing me to get into one-sided situations like this.
After giving the masterclass a go, I could finally start to heal those parts of me and end up in a healthy partnership where I feel cherished every day.
Just ask yourself those deeper questions, and you can too!