Your relationship seems fine and there’s no talk of breaking up, but then one day your girlfriend stops talking to you.
You know that feeling when you’re about to break up with your significant other, but you feel like you can’t say anything?
But how do you know exactly if she wants to break up?
The signs are so subtle that sometimes it takes the whole relationship for people to realize what happened — until it’s too late!
Learning how to recognize these signs can help keep you from making a big mistake in your life.
Here are 10 subtle signs your girlfriend wants to break up with you:
10 subtle signs your girlfriend wants to break up with you
1) She doesn’t want to talk about your future together
One of the most common signs your girlfriend wants to break up with you is when she doesn’t want to talk about the future.
When two people are in love, they spend more time planning for the future and their lives together.
The man proposes marriage. They get a house together. Then they have children and spend the rest of their lives as a family having fun and enjoying each other’s company.
Unfortunately, sometimes this isn’t how things work out.
When it comes to talking about the future, your girlfriend won’t think about it.
She’s completely closed off and will avoid talking about where she sees you two going or how she sees you living together and raising a family in the future.
Not thinking ahead isn’t something a woman does unless she has every intention of breaking up with you.
2) The chemistry fades away
The relationship isn’t working out anymore, but you feel like it’s not because of an issue with one another.
The attraction has faded. The spark that was once there is no longer there.
Many times couples can’t wait to tell their partner that the spark is gone, but they don’t even realize it themselves.
When this happens, people tend to blame the breakup on something other than themselves or their partner.
The physical chemistry between a couple is what keeps the relationship going.
If she doesn’t want to be intimate with you, it could be a sign that she doesn’t want to be emotionally intimate with you.
When your girlfriend just doesn’t feel like she wants to be around you as much anymore, this is the type of thing that will happen.
If you notice that your girlfriend is not acting like herself, it’s possible she doesn’t feel the same way about you.
She may still be attracted to you, but if she’s not acting like herself, it could mean she’s trying to let you down easy by starting to act weird.
When your girlfriend doesn’t make time for you anymore or makes more excuses than ever before to avoid spending time with you, it’s often a sign that she wants to end it.
3) She hates to talk about herself
Your girlfriend won’t want to talk to you about herself because of a need to keep you in the dark as far as her past.
When a woman is trying to mislead you, she will avoid talking about her past.
She will tell you the basics but won’t go into detail.
Yes, it’s true!
All of her past relationships have failed because she can’t figure out what went wrong. This time is different because this guy is different. She doesn’t want to be with him but doesn’t want to break his heart by not being with him either.
She won’t be willing to tell you about her past, even though that’s one of the biggest aspects of your relationship that keeps growing.
If she has a lot of secrets and things she doesn’t want to talk about, then it may be something she wants to break up with you over.
4) She threatens to leave you
She won’t tell you directly how she plans to leave you, but she will be willing to let you know that she’s considering it.
She may not leave right away and give you space, but she will come right back at you by saying cruel things or trying to get under your skin.
This is a way of hurting you and trying to make it seem like it was your fault that she’s mad at you. She wants to hurt you as much as possible.
Once she does break up with you, she may not reach out to you at all.
She may say terrible things about you to the people in your life and the rest of the world.
These are all ways that women hurt their significant others emotionally and make it look like they’re the ones that are wrong without ever having to take responsibility for their actions.
5) She’s not around as much anymore
When you notice that your girlfriend isn’t around like she used to be, you’ll start to feel suspicious.
This is because if a woman is considering breaking up with you and she’s not around as much as she used to be, then it’s likely she wants to break up with you.
She won’t want to be around if the relationship is going badly.
If she’s spending more time with her friends and family, then this is another sign that she wants to break up with you.
Once you start to see a pattern of behavior, you’re going to get suspicious.
You may also notice that spending less time with you makes it easier for her to avoid any arguments or tension in the relationship.
She won’t want to be committed if she doesn’t feel like it. She knows that she will have an easy escape if she needs one.
6) She picks fights over trivial things
The biggest sign a woman is trying to end it is if she will pick fights with you over trivial things.
She wants to end the relationship, but she wants it to happen on her terms instead of with her holding back.
If a woman wants to break up with you, she will do anything she can to make it seem like you are the one that’s wrong instead of her.
This is a way of re-negotiating the relationship and trying to get you to break up with her.
She will argue and pick fights over unrelated issues.
She’s basically saying, “You know this isn’t working out, right?” and she wants you to admit it.
If you fight with your girlfriend all the time and she never lets anything go, it might be because she’s pushing you away.
She’ll pick fights with you over anything and everything. If this starts happening, it may mean that there’s something deeper going on in the relationship.
You may start fighting over trivial things because you feel like something is wrong, but she might not be fighting with you because she’s trying to make the relationship work.
She may be looking for ways to end it for her own personal reasons.
7) You feel unappreciated
When you feel like you don’t matter to your girlfriend anymore, it’s going to feel like something has changed.
If she’s not showing you that she appreciates you, then it may be a sign that she doesn’t feel the same way about the relationship anymore.
This is especially true if the reason you’re in a relationship is for someone who makes you feel loved and valued.
If your girlfriend isn’t complimenting you, making plans with you or reaching out to her friends and family as much as she did before, it’s possible that this is something she wants to break up with you over.
She might start paying less attention to you and not taking the time out from her life to spend with you.
She’ll obviously try to hide it, but this is actually something she wants to break up over.
If you don’t feel like you matter and are significant in her life anymore, it’s a sign that she doesn’t feel like she can commit to you any longer.
8) She talks about a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend
If your girlfriend starts talking about a guy she was in a relationship with but doesn’t mention that you know this guy, it could be because she wants to break up with you.
She won’t want to be with you anymore if you still like this guy.
She knows that if she mentions him, then it’s only going to bother you more and make the relationship worse.
And just think:
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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Once she brings up an ex or something you do without including you, it may be a sign that she wants to end the relationship.
You won’t mention him, but she will.
She’ll always talk about this guy or tell people stories about him.
This is because she wants to make sure everyone around her sees her as someone who has options instead of someone who’s in a dead-end relationship.
9) She is not jealous anymore
If your girlfriend is considering breaking up with you, she won’t want to be bothered by you.
She wants to feel like she can live her life without you.
If your girlfriend is not jealous anymore, it could be because she knows she doesn’t have anything to gain by staying in the relationship.
She knows that if she brings up this guy, you’re just going to get upset and make it worse.
It’s a sign that she doesn’t want to keep going with you.
She may not want to look at your Instagram or see that you’re on her Facebook anymore because she’s trying to push herself away from the relationship.
She’ll try to avoid you so that she doesn’t have to be around you if the relationship ends. She wants it to seem like her decision instead of yours.
If she’s not jealous and you want her to be jealous, it could mean that she already has plans for moving on.
You don’t want to be in a relationship with a woman who isn’t interested in your life anymore.
She won’t want to be tied to you if she’s trying to find a way out.
10) She can’t be bothered by you or is avoiding you
If your girlfriend is not that interested in you anymore or she’s hiding from you, this may be a sign that she wants to break up with you.
It obviously means that she’s uncomfortable with the state of the relationship and doesn’t want to deal with it anymore.
She doesn’t want her friends, family, and everyday life around her to remind her of what happened.
She knows that it’s going to make her upset, so she won’t want to deal with it.
The last thing she wants is for you to be upset with her and not want to hang out with her.
You’re going to start noticing this if you aren’t a priority in her life anymore.
She may start avoiding you and hiding stuff from you.
Think about it!
If she doesn’t have anything to gain by keeping the relationship going anymore, then she won’t want to be around you. It’s just not worth it for her.
This can also be true if she’s avoiding you or saying she has an event to go to when she’s really planning on hanging out with that guy.
This is a sign that she wants to break up with you.
If you’ve tried to figure out if your girlfriend wants to break up with you and you know she probably does then what’s the next step?
Next steps to do
1) Refresh your relationship
If you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, then you know that things can become stale and boring.
Every relationship goes through this stage.
If this is the case, then you need to take some time to understand what’s going on with your relationship.
You need to be aware of your partner’s needs and wants, even if they’re hard to understand.
If you want to get her back but this time in a happier, more committed relationship, it’s simple:
Rewrite the story of your relationship.
Show him that this time around things will be different. Change the way he sees you and allow him to picture a brand new relationship with you.
This is much more effective than trying to convince him that what you had before was worth going back to.
I learned this from relationship expert James Bauer. In this excellent video, he’ll give you step-by-step methods to get your ex back, including simple but powerful texts and phrases you can use.
So if you want to give things another chance, but this time with a breath of fresh air and a healthier relationship outlook, don’t hesitate to check out James’ advice.
2) Start doing things she likes, but do them more often
If you want your girlfriend to want to stay with you, there are some simple things you can do to show her that she can still have a good time with you.
It’s not going to be the same in a new relationship and different things will probably need to be done.
If this is the case, then take the initiative and do something she likes, but do it more often so that she remembers what it feels like when she feels happy and loved.
It’s not that hard to figure out the things you did in the past.
Think about what she liked doing with you and when you did them.
If she loved going hiking, go hiking more often. If she loved eating out, go out to eat more often. If she used to love hanging out at home, stay at home together more often.
Bring back the good times and build on them.
This will make her happier, and she’ll want to be with you more often.
3) Give her compliments
Maybe you took your relationship for granted and stopped giving your girlfriend compliments.
If this is the case, start complimenting her more often to show your affection for her.
You need to find simple but powerful ways to give her compliments that she’ll appreciate instead of taking her for granted.
If you stop complimenting her, she’ll start feeling left out or like you don’t care about her.
It’s important that you show your appreciation for everything she does, even if it’s not a big deal.
If she made a simple meal and did it the way you like it, tell her how much it means to you.
If she wears something on a date that you think she looks beautiful in, let her know that you like it.
Being kind and showing your affection for her will make her want to be around you more often.
4) Give her space but do it with fewer questions
If your girlfriend wants some space from the relationship, then give it to her, but don’t ask any questions about what she’s doing.
You don’t need to be concerned about what she’s doing or where she is.
Just let her have her space and it will come back to you in the end. Trust me.
Don’t call her more often than necessary, don’t follow her around, and stop checking up on her life every day. If you want to get your girlfriend back, then leave her alone for a while.
5) Ask her how she feels and listen to what she says without getting defensive
Instead of asking her if she wants to break up, ask how she’s feeling and what you can do to make her feel better.
Listen to what she says and try to understand why she feels the way that she does.
You might be surprised at what you hear, but it will help in your relationship by bringing out things that are holding you both back.
Don’t try to talk her out of them or make excuses for something that you did wrong. Instead, listen to what she says and try to understand it.
This will make her want to stick around in the relationship.
If your girlfriend is considering breaking up with you, you shouldn’t ignore it.
You need to actually listen to her and find out what she’s thinking. Don’t fight or make excuses for your mistakes.
Don’t treat her like she’s crazy for wanting a breakup or you’re the person that doesn’t know how relationships work. You have the advantage of knowing exactly what to do next.
Show her that you’re worth keeping around by making the effort to make things better than they were before.
How this one revelation changed my love life
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Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder