What to do when your boyfriend is still emotionally attached to ex-wife (14 practical tips)

Are you in a relationship with a man who’s still emotionally attached to his ex-wife? If so, you’re not alone.

Many women find themselves in this situation, and it can be quite difficult to deal with as a married relationship is complicated in itself.

However, there are things you can do to make the situation more manageable.

Here are 14 tips for dealing with a guy who’s still emotionally attached to his ex-wife

1) Don’t give in to jealousy and insecurities

It’s only natural to feel a little jealous and insecure when your partner’s still emotionally attached to his ex-wife. After all, you can’t help but compare yourself to her and wonder what he still sees in her that he may not see in you.

However, it’s important to remember that everyone deals with breakups in their own way. More importantly, it’s important to understand that this is a perfectly normal and natural reaction, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms or if there are children involved.

If you find yourself getting too caught up in the negative emotions of jealousy and, insecurity, try to remind yourself that your partner’s attachment isn’t personal. It’s simply a result of his previous relationship and has nothing to do with you.

In fact, it’s likely that he’s just as attached to you as you are to him. Just because your boyfriend is still hung up on his ex doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you.

So instead of letting jealousy and insecurity get the best of you, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.

Give him time to work through his emotions, and don’t try to force him to forget about his ex completely.

If he truly cares about you, he’ll eventually let go of his past and give himself fully to your relationship.

2) Don’t take his actions personally

Your boyfriend was married to his ex-wife for a reason. They were together for a significant amount of time, and they likely shared a lot of memories.

It’s important to understand that he’s not trying to hurt you by still being hung up on her. He’s simply dealing with the breakup in his own way.

Just as you need time to grieve and process the end of a relationship, he needs time to do the same.

Remember, his actions are just reactions to what happened to him in the past. His attachment to his ex-wife has nothing to do with you or your relationship.

Whatever went on in their marriage, it isn’t a reflection of you or your relationship. If anything, it says more about his ex-wife and their relationship than it does about you.

3) Let him deal with relationship issues with his ex

When it comes to our exes, we often want to be the one who helps them move on. We think that if we can just fix things for them, they’ll be able to get over their past and finally be happy.

The thing is, being emotionally attached to an ex usually has more to do with unresolved issues than it does with a lack of love.

So if your boyfriend is still hung up on his ex-wife, chances are there are some unresolved issues between them.

And as much as you may want to help him fix those issues, it’s not your place to do so.

Allow him to deal with his ex-wife on his own. It may be difficult to watch him struggle, but it’s something that he needs to do on his own.

If you’re willing to stick around and be patient, he’ll eventually come to terms with his past and be able to move on.

4) Focus on the present moments of your love life

It’s easy to get caught up in what could have been or what might happen in the future. But if your boyfriend’s still emotionally attached to his ex-wife, focusing on the present is key.

Remember, his attachment to her is based on the past. The only way to move forward is to focus on the here and now.

That means enjoying the time you spend together and building new memories. It also means not dwelling on what he did with his ex or what they had together.

The more you focus on the present, there’s a good chance for him to let go of his attachment to his ex-wife.

5) Change your focus from the ex to your boyfriend

Let’s be real: it’s easy to pay more attention to the person who’s causing us pain than the one who brings us joy. But this would only be a temporary band-aid on the problem.

A more effective solution would be to focus on your boyfriend and what your new relationship means to both of you.

Find a new hobby to experience together

Finding a new hobby together can help you bond and create shared experiences. It can also help take the focus off his ex-wife and shift it to your relationship.

Here’s the kicker: the hobby doesn’t have to be anything fancy. It could be something as simple as going for walks together or taking up a new sport.

The important thing is it’s something you can do together and that it helps you feel closer to him.

Encourage him to cut ties and get closure

Getting closure is a process of coming to terms with the end of a relationship. While many don’t get the closure they need, encouraging your boyfriend to get one can make your relationship stronger.

In addition, it’ll also help him deal with his attachment to his ex-wife in a healthy way.

The thing is, there’s no right or wrong way to get closure because everyone deals with breakups differently.

There are many ways to get closure, but it usually starts with a conversation. This could be with his ex-wife or even just a heart-to-heart with you.

However it happens, the goal is for him to come to terms with the end of his relationship and move on.

Help your boyfriend see the good in himself

One of the reasons why someone might be hung up on their ex is because they don’t feel good enough.

This may seem odd, but it’s often true.

Emotional attachment to an ex usually stems from a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. That’s because they may feel they don’t deserve any better than the relationship that failed.

As their new partner, one of the best things you can do is help him see the good in himself.

6) Don’t compare yourself to the ex-wife

It’s only natural to compare yourself to the people your boyfriend dated.

In all honesty, if you’re dealing with an ex-wife, the comparisons are probably going to be unfair. After all, she’s the ex-wife.

She was “the one” for him at one point in time. It’s natural to feel like you can’t compete with that.

But here’s the thing: you’re not competing with her. You’re not trying to be the next best thing.

You’re simply trying to be the best thing for your boyfriend right now.

Focus on building a strong relationship with him based on trust, respect, and love. This way, you’ll be able to create an unbreakable bond.

7) Avoid bringing up memories whenever possible

espolon tequila 6 vKid03AXs unsplash What to do when your boyfriend is still emotionally attached to ex-wife (14 practical tips)

When it comes to conversations with your boyfriend, it’s better to avoid bringing up the past about his marriage.

Why is that?

Well, for one, it’ll only remind him of the lingering feelings of pain and hurt during the breakup. This can set him back emotionally and make it harder for him to move on.

Secondly, it can make you seem like you’re not confident and secure in your current relationship. Bringing up his relationship with his ex-wife could come across as you’re looking for reassurance that he’s over her.

And you both know he still has his hang-ups.

Instead, revisit memory lane from your own relationship that will encourage him to focus on the present. This way, you motivate him to create new, happy memories with you.

8) Set healthy boundaries on what you will and won’t let him do

No relationship is perfect, and dating a man who was married is no exception.

It can be tough trying to navigate the delicate waters of dating while also maintaining some level of boundaries.

But if you’re able to set healthy boundaries and communicate them effectively, they can protect you and your relationship, and save you a lot of pain and heartache down the road.

Checking social media pictures on Facebook and Instagram

Social media can be a slippery slope when it comes to relationships.

On one hand, it’s a great way to keep in touch with people and see what’s going on in their lives. On the other hand, it can be a major source of drama and conflict.

If your boyfriend’s still following his ex-wife on social media, it’s time to have a talk with him about it.

Pictures he can find on Facebook and Instagram, for instance, could influence his emotions and thoughts in a way that may be unhealthy for your relationship.

Talk about staying in contact with the ex

If you’ll agree on keeping in touch with the ex-wife, it’s important to set some guidelines.

For instance, you may want to agree on a certain frequency of communication or only communicate about specific topics.

It’s also important to be clear about what your role is in their relationship.

Are you comfortable with being friends with her? Or would you prefer not to have any contact at all?

At the end of the day, you need to protect your own emotional well-being and do what’s best for you.

Touch on the chance of both of them flirting at certain times

Being emotionally attached to your ex can come out in different ways. One way it may manifest is through flirtation, either online or in person.

Your boyfriend may not even realize he’s doing it, but if you feel like he’s flirting with his ex-wife, it’s important to bring it up.

You see, flirting is considered by many to be a form of emotional cheating. And if he’s doing it with his ex, it could be a good sign that he’s not over her.

This doesn’t mean you should break up with him or give him the silent treatment. But it does mean taking a step back to reassess your relationship and figure out where you stand with him.

At the end of the day, you need to protect your heart and do what’s best for you.

9) Seek professional advice from a relationship coach

Sometimes a relationship can feel like you’re stuck in an endless loop. It’s frustrating when things don’t seem to be improving and nothing seems to help resolve the situation.

If you’re finding it difficult to deal with your boyfriend’s attachment to his ex-wife, it may be helpful to seek out professional help.

Relationship Hero is the best resource I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just all talk. They can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate this challenging situation.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

And guess what? It’s confidential, so you can talk openly and candidly about what’s going on.

Click here to check them out.

10) Be considerate and sensitive for the sake of his kids

Having kids from a former marriage can make things complicated, especially if you don’t know how to deal with them.

If your boyfriend has kids, keep in mind that he has an obligation to provide child support and be there for them emotionally.

Think about that for a minute.

Parenting while sorting through unresolved feelings is tough.

His kids may be going through a tough time as they adjust to their parent’s separation. Moreover, they may not be ready for you to step into their lives just yet.

This doesn’t mean you have to take a backseat in his life. But it does mean being considerate and sensitive to his needs as a father because they’re a part of his life.

After all, you don’t want to do anything that would make the situation harder for them.

11) Let your loved ones know about the situation

Going through a tough situation like this can be very stressful, so it’s important to have a support system to lean on.

If you’re finding it difficult to deal with your boyfriend’s emotional attachment to his ex-wife, let your best friend or a family member know about it.

Having a trusted loved one to talk to can make a world of difference.

Not only will they be able to offer you support and guidance, but they’ll also be there to lend a listening ear when you need it.

They may not be able to provide you with the answers you’re looking for, but they can help you figure out what to do next.

And sometimes, that’s all you need to get through a difficult time.

12) You need to focus on yourself

If you’re in a relationship with someone who’s still emotionally attached to their ex-wife, it can be tough.

You might feel like you’re always second best or that your relationship will never be as good as their previous one.

It’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for their emotional state. And you can’t force them to get over their ex-wife when they’re not entirely ready to move on.

The best thing you can do is focus on taking care of yourself.

Understand your feelings and why you’re feeling that way

One thing you can do is some self-reflection to understand your feelings and figure out where they’re coming from.

Are you feeling insecure because you think he’s still in love with her? Do you feel like you’re always competing with her for his attention?

Or are you worried that he’ll never be fully over her and that your relationship will always be affected by it?

Once you figure out what’s causing your anxiety, you can start to work on addressing those issues.

Gain control of your feelings when your boyfriend’s ex is around

It can be hard when your partner’s ex-girlfriend is around. But having an ex-wife’s a whole different level of complicated.

Having self-control can be difficult in these moments, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your boyfriend.

The best thing you can do is try to avoid any situation where you know she’ll be present.

And if you can’t avoid it, take a deep breath and try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.

This will help you stay calm and collected, even when she’s around.

Act confidently and stay resilient

No matter how hard the situation might seem, always remember to take care of yourself.

This starts with self-care and self-love.

Maintaining a level of confidence and resilience will also help you get through tough times. These qualities will come in handy when you’re feeling insecure or when your partner’s ex-wife is around.

Remember that you’re not responsible for their emotional state.

What you can only control is how you react to the situation.

13) Get emotionally and spiritually healthy

It’s no secret that having a healthy emotional and spiritual life is important for a good relationship. After all, these aspects of our lives keep us from falling into negative cycles that can be difficult to break free from.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t take the time to focus on our emotional and spiritual health until it’s too late.

Consider some activities that you and your boyfriend can do to improve your emotional and spiritual health.

This can be anything from going to therapy or counseling together to reading self-help books or attending a support group.

You could also try meditating, practicing yoga, or going on nature walks.

Doing things that make you feel good on a deeper level will help you cope with the stress of having a partner who’s still hung up on his ex-wife.

14) Stay positive and hopeful for the future

ernan solozabal pzjmuTYdbe0 unsplash What to do when your boyfriend is still emotionally attached to ex-wife (14 practical tips)

Staying positive is a great way to approach life. And it could be a challenge if your romantic relationship isn’t going as planned.

But if you want your relationship to improve, it’s important to keep a positive outlook.

This means staying hopeful for the future and believing that your boyfriend will eventually get over his ex-wife.

It might not be easy, but try to focus on the good moments in your relationship. This can help you stay positive when things are tough.

Remember that you’re not alone in this. Many people have gone through similar situations and come out the other side stronger and more in love than ever before.

With time, patience, and a whole lot of self-love, you can get through this, too.

Does your relationship stand a chance if your boyfriend’s still emotionally attached to his ex-wife?

Of course. But it’s going to take some work.

Although it might be difficult, you can deal with your partner who’s still emotionally attached to his ex-wife.

Here’s why: you’re stronger than you think.

You’re capable of handling this situation with grace and patience. And you’re not alone.

So take the time to focus on yourself and your needs.

While it seems like your partner’s ex-wife is the center of his world right now, that doesn’t have to be the case forever.

With a little time and effort, you can get through this tough time to make your relationship work and come out stronger than ever.

It’s a matter of truth and time

If you’re dating someone who is emotionally attached to his ex-wife, it can be tough to deal with. But it’s important to have open communication with your boyfriend so that you both can figure out a way forward together.

Obviously, this process isn’t going to happen overnight, so be prepared for it to take some time.

While you should focus on rebuilding your own life, try to be understanding and patient with him.

Communication, compromise, and forgiveness will be key in helping him heal.

Give him the courage to be your hero

Being in a serious relationship with a new love is an amazing feeling.

But when your partner is still emotionally attached to his ex-wife, it can put a damper on things.

You might feel like you’re playing second fiddle in his life or like you’ll never be able to compete with her.

These doubts and insecurities are normal, but they’re also important to talk about with your partner.

If you’re feeling neglected or like you’re not a priority, tell him how you feel.

Remember, men have this primal instinct to be a hero to their partners. And if he’s willing to work on things, he’ll rise to the occasion.

So give him the chance to be your hero and help him move on from his ex-wife for good.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Picture of Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

Frankie was born and raised in Manila, Philippines. She is a graduate of Humanities from the University of Asia and the Pacific. Frankie is a seasoned Customer Success and Human Resources professional. She is also a certified Life Coach and Career Strategist. She helps people young and young at heart to simplify their lives by creating emotional awareness. She also loves working with people who have a genuine interest in breaking their inner limits through their journey of self-discovery and authenticity in their personal and professional lives. Frankie’s recent venture into writing is fueled by her passion for human connection and meaningful relationships at home, at work, and basically everywhere. She enjoys the research, discovery, and reflection that go into each article as much as she writes about them, in the hopes that her words resonate with, and give perspective to her audience. Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn: Frankie Pascua-dela Pasion

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