Are you wondering how a guy feels when you ignore him?
Maybe you feel undervalued or invisible and want to try ignoring him to get a reaction.
Perhaps you’ve heard that ignoring him will make him want you more?
Before you take that step to try to change his negative behavior let’s consider how he might respond to your tactic. Let’s jump right in.
12 ways a guy feels when you ignore him
1) He’ll think you’re angry with him
One of the first thoughts that will go through a man’s head when you ignore him is that you’re angry with him.
Your guy will think that he did something wrong, but what?
Guys aren’t as observant and acute as women are, and although he’ll guess that he messed up somehow, he’ll have no idea what you’re so upset about.
Most men want to be told directly what is expected of them and where they went wrong.
They’re not into mind games and passive-aggressive behavior.
So if you’re angry, my advice is to come out with it. Give it to him straight and don’t wait for him to guess.
2) You’re just busy
If you don’t speak with a man, he might presume you are busy.
Remember how I said that guys aren’t as insightful as women are?
If he was the one doing the ignoring, you’d probably come up with a million reasons why and worst-case scenarios very quickly.
But men don’t like things to be complicated and don’t sit around thinking “what if?”
Unless told otherwise, they’ll probably think that everything is fine.
What does this mean for you?
If you’re not in touch, he’ll think that there’s a reasonable explanation for it and that you’ll be in touch when you have time.
He could simply pick the most obvious reason for you ignoring him: you’re busy.
This means that ignoring him has been in vain.
3) Want advice specific to your situation?
While the points in this article will help you understand how a guy feels when you ignore him, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
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4) He wants you more
If you pull back and ignore him, he might start to miss and crave your attention again. We tend to want what we can’t have.
It turns out that people are attracted to uncertainty. The unknown can be exciting!
So, if you ignore him and aren’t always available, if you seem distant and unattainable, you’ll intrigue him.
If he is not sure how you feel and whether you’re his for sure, he’ll want you even more.
• He’ll take a greater interest in you
• He’ll want to know what you’re doing, why you’re not doing it with him.
• He’ll want to find out what makes you tick.
Men enjoy the chase. If you seem unattainable, your value will go up and he’ll work even harder to get you.
5) It’s over
If you ignore a man, he might presume you’re relationship is over.
As I’ve mentioned before, guys aren’t into mind games. They don’t like to guess what a girl is thinking.
If you cut off all contact, he may think that you’re ghosting him and that the relationship is over. After all, what other reason could there be?
It may even be the kind of thing that he’d do to make a relationship go away. Ignore the other person and hope they get the message. It’s cruel but avoids confronting the other person and dealing with “feelings”.
Be careful not to ignore him completely or he’ll think that you’re just not into him, that it didn’t work out, and he’ll move on.
So, if you’re hoping that by ignoring him you will make him take the hint and realize where he messed up, be aware that your plan could backfire.
Tread cautiously when ignoring a guy.
6) He won’t feel like your hero
If you ignore a man, he won’t feel special to you. He’ll definitely not feel needed, which is not a good thing if you want him to commit to you.
There’s actually a psychological term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the ‘hero instinct’.
This concept is generating a lot of buzz at the moment as a way to explain what really drives men in relationships.
I know it might all seem kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
But this misses the point about what the hero instinct is all about.
The hero instinct is an instinctive need that men have to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When a man genuinely feels like your everyday hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long-term relationship with you.
But how do you trigger this instinct in him?
The trick is to make him feel like a hero in an authentic way. And there are things you can say and messages you can send to trigger this natural biological instinct.
If you want some help doing this, check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here.
He tells you everything you need to know about the hero instinct, including exactly how to trigger it in your man.
I don’t often recommend videos or buy into popular new concepts in psychology, but the hero instinct is one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.
7) You are worth the chase
On the flip side, a man might see your distance as a challenge.
Men enjoy chasing women that are hard to get.
They don’t want women that are easy and available.
From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense.
It’s all about passing down the best genes and having a long and healthy family line.
A high-quality “female” with good genes is worth pursuing. If you’re hard to get it means that there’s something special that you are saving, something worth fighting for.
• Don’t be too quick to answer his texts or to call him back.
• Show him that you’re busy and important and have a life that has nothing to do with him.
He’ll be way more into you than if you bombard him with texts and calls and act desperate.
8) There’s someone else
If he’s used to daily contact and being the focus of your attention, once you start to ignore him, he may think there’s someone else.
He needs to realize that other guys find you attractive and that you can have your pick.
Ignoring him can lead to jealousy and a little bit of jealousy can go a long way.
• Maybe you’re too busy to see him or call him. Slow to respond to his texts.
• When you do meet, you’re unusually quiet and distant.
• Brighten up if you run into a male acquaintance when you’re together.
• Do a little bit of light flirting with the barman when ordering drinks, nothing over the top, just enough to make him notice.
He’ll realize that if he doesn’t work hard to keep you, he could lose you to another guy.
9) You’re enjoying yourself without him
If you aren’t in touch with a man, he might start to think that you are enjoying your time without him.
When he doesn’t know where you are and what you’re doing, he may start to wonder about all sorts of things.
• Why aren’t you calling him?
• Where are you?
• Who are you with?
• What could be so important that you don’t want to speak to him?
When he finds out that you’ve gone clubbing with your friends or to an opening at an art gallery or are doing any other activity without him, he’ll start to fear that he’s missing out.
He’ll feel bad that you’re having such a good time without him, that you don’t need him.
10) Maybe you’re just rude
If you ignore his messages, he might write you off as rude.
If you ignore one text message, maybe you didn’t see it.
Two text messages, maybe you’re busy.
If you keep ignoring his messages and his repeated attempts to contact you, and you don’t have a good reason for doing so, then maybe you’re not as nice as he thought you were.
Maybe you’re just a rude person.
If you keep on ignoring him without any explanation, he may stop liking you.
Don’t ignore him for too long and always come up with a reason for doing so, otherwise, he may just move on.
11) He thinks you’re losing interest
If you stop communicating with a man, he might think that you are losing interest in him.
When we find someone interesting, we can’t wait to spend time with them. Each moment is precious.
When we’re in love, we count down the minutes until we can be with them.
Conversations run deep into the night.
Being together makes us feel so alive and shared interactions bring us immense pleasure.
When we no longer find them as engaging and fun to be around and we no longer seek their company, it’s a sign that we are losing interest.
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So, if your guy starts to see you pull away, it makes sense that he’ll think that you’re losing interest and that you want out.
By now, you should have a clearer understanding of what goes through a guy’s mind when you ignore him.
If you still want to give it a shot, remember to tread carefully. Here are some tips on how to ignore your guy.
12) He misses you
If you ignore a man, he might come to miss you.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, he may be so used to you being there and doing things for him that he takes you for granted.
If you suddenly stop doing all those things, and you’re not there, he’ll definitely take notice.
• You’re not there to greet him with his morning coffee
• He has to walk the dog himself
• The laundry hasn’t been done; he has nothing to wear
• There’s no packed lunch to take to work
But most of all, he’ll notice being alone for the first time in ages.
This may just be the wake-up call he needs to realize how much you mean to him and inspire him to correct some of his behavior. This could also make him realize that you don’t need him.
This relates back to what I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.
When a man is made to feel needed, wanted, and respected, he’s more likely to correct his behavior.
And it’s as simple as knowing the right things to say to trigger his hero instinct and make him into the man he’s always wanted to be.
All of that and more is revealed in this excellent free video by James Bauer. It’s absolutely worth checking out if you’re ready to take things to the next level with your man.
7 tips on how to ignore your fella
1) Ignore him when he’s around
How do you ignore someone that’s right in front of you?
It’s an art worth learning as it will make them want you more than ever!
• Avoid too much eye contact
• Act uninterested in him without seeming rude
• Pay extra attention to his male friends, laugh at all their jokes, make it seem like they’re the ones you’re interested in
• Treat him like anyone else, don’t show him that he’s special
You don’t want to seem too eager, but be careful not to come off as being bitchy or cold, you might end up pushing him away.
Ignoring a guy when he’s around requires precision.
You want to ignore him just the right amount: enough to get him to want to pursue you and work hard to win you over, but not so much as to have him think that you don’t like him or are an ice queen.
2) Take your time to respond to his texts
Guys want to get the girl, but they don’t want it to be too easy.
They enjoy the chase.
Besides, if you seem too eager and are easy to “catch”, it may seem like there’s something wrong with you and that’s why you’re still single.
When you don’t respond to his texts or calls right away, it will make him call you even more. He’ll make it his priority to get through to you.
When you finally respond, he’ll feel like he just accomplished something great. It will be a win for him.
So how do you go about ignoring him without making it seem rude and cold?
1) First of all, force yourself to wait for at least one hour before texting or calling him back
2) Make sure you have a good excuse for not ignoring him.
• Say that your phone was on silent
• Tell him you were busy with work you didn’t get a chance to look at your work
• You were watching a movie and you didn’t hear the phone
• Pretend you were super busy with something that you simply couldn’t pick up
Make him wonder where you are and what you’re up to. Show him that your life doesn’t revolve around him. Make him work.
3) Don’t make yourself easily available
One of the best ways to ignore a guy is to be busy. That gives you a legitimate reason for not always being available.
When he calls you to go out, don’t always say “yes”. Don’t show him how eager you are to see him. Play it cool.
Don’t change your schedule to accommodate him. Tell him you’re busy and suggest another time when you’re free.
Make plans with your family. Go out with your friends.
Don’t neglect your hobbies or classes just because you’re in love. Keep on pursuing your goals.
This will make him treasure the time that you spend together, after all, absence makes the heart grow fonder. And the fact that he can’t see you whenever he wants will make him want to see you even more.
So don’t completely ignore him, just give him some space and a chance to miss you
4) Live your life
How do you keep yourself busy?
• Work takes up a big part of your day.
• Socialize, go out with your friends.
• Make plans to see your family. Go for lunch with your parents. Visit your grandmother in her nursing home.
• Pursue your hobbies, don’t neglect your painting or gardening.
• Go kayaking or rock climbing. Ride your bike. Go for a swim. Be outdoors.
• Accept invitations to gallery openings and concerts.
• Sign up for some classes. Learn a new language or learn pottery.
Simply put, live life to the fullest instead of sitting by the phone waiting for him to text or call.
Not only will he appreciate your independence and be in awe of you for all the cool stuff that you do, but it’s important for your personal growth and well-being to have a fulfilling lifestyle.
5) Avoid eye contact
They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. They reveal so much.
This is why you need to avoid eye contact if you want him to pursue you. If you stare into his eyes, you’ll reveal that you like him and that may be too intense and intimidating for him.
So just glance casually at him, without lingering. Let him notice you. Let him be the one to come over.
If you’re having a conversation with him and need to make eye contact, keep it brief. Shift your gaze from him to the people around him. This will make him work extra hard to win your attention.
6) Act like you don’t care
When you meet a guy you like, don’t show it. Pretend that you don’t care, that you’re not interested in him.
Men are attracted to women that are hard to get, they like the challenge of winning you over. Show him that you’re worth the chase.
Once he starts to pursue you, you can slowly start to let your guard down and show some interest. But take it slow, you don’t want to be too eager too soon.
So just sit back and enjoy being courted.
7) Keep your emotions in check
Women are a lot more in tune with their emotions than men are. We’re not afraid of our feelings and we often don’t hold back in expressing them. Guys tend to be more rational and practical.
Speaking from personal experience, I tend to let my emotions lead me, whereas my partner likes to lay out the facts, weigh the pros and cons and then make a decision, there’s no place for emotions.
Our display of emotions can freak a guy out and send him running.
What does this mean for you?
It may be difficult for him to understand your emotions, especially if he’s just getting to know you. So, try and keep your emotions in check.
• Hold back those tears
• Don’t send him long texts telling him how you feel
• Don’t come off as too needy
• Avoid getting into fights when he makes you angry
If you’re upset with him, rather than try to make him understand how you feel by crying or shouting at him, take a step back. Take a short break from him.
Your silence will let him know that something is wrong and he’ll have to figure out what it is.
What is really going on?
By now you should have a good idea of how a guy feels when you ignore him.
So what can you do?
Clearly there is something going on between you that you are not enjoying.
If you choose not to directly and honestly communicate with him about your experience, then it might be a time to step back.
Why? What are you afraid of?
Some of us really shy away from conflict and voicing our needs. If there is something within you that is signaling that you aren’t enjoying the relationship, and you want to take some space to figure it out, you have two options:
1.You can choose to step back, peel your energy off the relationshiop and focus on ignoring him.
2. Or you can choose to step back, look at what is deeply affecting you, take time to indulge and work on loving yourself, and see how you can resolve that issue within.
If you don’t want to pull him into your inner investigation, you at least have to be honest with yourself.
Are you playing games, or searching for a deeper connection?
If you’re dealing with feeling vulnerable and intimate with someone?
Have you considered getting to the root of the issue?
You see, most of our barriers in our relatoinships stem from our own complicated inner relationship with ourselves – how can you fix the external without seeing to the internal first?
I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.
So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve your fears of speaking up and being honest, start with yourself.
You’ll find clear, practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video. These solutions can stay with you for life.
With practice and understanding, these intimitating interactions can only get easier.
But first, start with the most important relationship you have – the one with yourself.
How this one revelation changed my love life
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