What does it mean when a guy keeps coming back into your life?
What does it mean when a guy keeps coming back into your life? What message is he trying to send you?
Well… that’s definitely not easy to figure out!
But, this post will help you get a clear idea of what might be going on.
It’ll also give you some great insight into the world of men and how they think.
So, let’s not waste another moment and jump straight into it:
1) He isn’t sure about what he really wants from you
This guy keeps coming back into your life. He’s obviously interested… because he keeps calling, texting, and trying to see you.
But then, he ends up backing down and not following through with what he’s been doing.
Because he isn’t sure about what he really wants from you. He probably wants to be with you, but not 100%. He’d rather keep his options open and give them a try first before committing to you.
He’s playing a game of cat and mouse. He doesn’t know what he wants so he keeps trying to figure it out by messing around on the edges.
Simply put, he doesn’t know for sure if he wants to be with you.
2) This guy isn’t ready for a serious relationship
Maybe the guy who keeps coming back into your life isn’t sure about what he wants. But he might also be on the fence because of something else…
He may not be ready for a serious relationship.
Want to know why men are generally not ready for a relationship?
Here are the most common reasons:
- He got really hurt in the past.
- He doesn’t want to be tied down.
- He hasn’t gotten over his ex.
- He’s just out of a relationship and wants to play the field for a while before he gets serious again.
- He’s not mature enough to be in a relationship.
As you can see, there are many reasons a guy won’t be ready to be in a serious relationship.
And here’s the thing… these reasons are not even related to you. Unfortunately, though, the way he acts badly affects your self-esteem, right?
That’s why I believe you should think about getting in touch with a professional life coach in order to figure out your next steps.
Relationship Hero is a website where gifted relationship coaches are willing to provide unique insights to help individuals navigate complex and difficult love situations.
So, if you can’t get over the fact that he’s not ready for a serious relationship but he comes back over and over again to you, maybe you should take this opportunity and use their professional help.
3) He likes you but not enough to get serious about you
The harsh truth could be that he likes you but not enough to commit to you. You might be feeling all these emotions and thinking a lot of different things…
However, it won’t matter if he doesn’t feel the same way. You both have to be on the same page.
Signs that he likes you, but not enough… at least for now… are:
- He keeps coming back into your life.
- He wants to see you and he wants to be with you for a little bit. But then he doesn’t follow through.
- The way he acts is hot and cold.
- He’ll pull away from his actions and then come back and connect with you again.
- His actions don’t match up with what he says.
4) He could be giving you another chance
So, this guy keeps coming back into your life.
You’ve hooked up, hung out, and maybe even dated before. But he never sticks around for long and is always looking for the next best thing to come along.
Why? Because he just hasn’t found what he wants yet. He knows you’re hot, but he needs to keep searching until the perfect girl comes along…
Yes, that’s right. Maybe this guy wants to find the one. But he hasn’t found her yet… so he keeps coming back into your life.
This could happen because he is giving you (unconsciously or not) another chance to be this woman for him. However, he won’t commit until he feels you’re really the one for him.
5) He is playing games with your emotions
One of the reasons a guy keeps coming back into your life is if he’s a player.
What does that mean?
Well, he’ll be friendly, flirty, and even nice to you. He’ll invite you over for drinks and even try to get intimate with you.
But the emotions won’t be there. Or he won’t care about you enough to invest in a serious relationship… he’d rather keep playing with you and maybe other women, too.
Players are the ones who keep coming back into your life.
These men are also good at confusing you… and maybe even lying to you.
They’ll make you think they’re interested, but then when it comes time to follow through and be with you, they disappear.
In other words, they are playing games with your emotions and don’t really care about you at all… they just want the best out of the deal.
6) Your behavior gives him mixed signals
Let me tell you a little bit about men. They adore to be admired and to feel needed.
So, when you send this guy mixed signals, you sometimes trigger his innate drives and make him go crazy about you, but other times, you don’t make him feel wanted or needed at all.
And this is surely a big mistake because it leads to confusion and makes him unsure about you. He’s uncertain about whether or not he’ll be able to get what he wants from you.
If you want to clear up all the uncertainty around your relationship, a professional life coach could seriously help.
Once again, I’m sure professional relationship coaches at the website I mentioned earlier will help you decode his mixed signals and find out what he actually wants from you.
7) This guy is lonely and that’s why he comes back
Loneliness can sometimes push us in the wrong direction. This guy might be lonely, vulnerable, and wanting something more out of life but not knowing how to get it.
So what does he do? He reaches out to you because he’s just searching for some form of connection… anything really… just to feel better about his life.
It could be that he’s just a little bit lonely and so he’ll reach out for some form of connection. After all, he’s not the only one in the world who is going through something tough.
The thing is that he’ll never really know how to nurture the connection with you if he doesn’t have the strength to do so. He’ll keep coming back into your life because of his own insecurities and not knowing how to make a lasting connection.
8) You’re a distraction from his problems
This guy keeps coming back into your life. He has a lot of baggage and for some reason, he thinks that you can help him.
But, in fact, he’ll do pretty much anything to get away from his problems.
Whether it’s an ex, a family situation, or an unhappy job… he’s got some major issues going on and you could be the answer to all of his problems.
The thing is that he’s looking for something to make him feel better about his life and that’s when you come along… However, this doesn’t indicate that he cares about you.
The reality is, he’ll use you as a way to feel better about himself and forget about his problems… at least for a little while.
9) You’re just a rebound for him
Maybe this guy keeps coming into your life because he’s looking for a rebound. This means that he was just dumped, hurt in the past, or just not ready for something more meaningful.
He may want to have some kind of fun, but this doesn’t indicate that he has any real feelings for you…
To be honest, he might not be sure if he’d be interested in going through with it.
So what does he do? He reaches out to you because you’re available and he doesn’t have to commit.
You might be confused by his actions and feel like he really cares about you, but he’s just not sure yet.
How do I know? He keeps leaving and coming back into your life… again and again.
10) He is only physically and sexually attracted to you
Another reason a guy keeps coming back into your life?
Let me explain.
Physical and sexual attraction are very powerful things. And they can sometimes even override our common sense.
For example, he knows you two are not a good match. He knows you have different beliefs and values. He knows that you’re looking for something more serious…
But even so, he keeps coming back into your life because he’s physically and sexually attracted to you.
Remember: He doesn’t want anything serious and he doesn’t care about being with you… it’s just physical and sexual and that’s it.
11) You broke up, but he’s not over you
What does it mean when he comes back to you?
Maybe you guys broke up, but he’s not over you yet. He’s still holding on to the past and hoping for a future.
It could be that he still wants to reconnect with you because he’s hoping that things will work out between the both of you… even if they never do.
This could be why he keeps coming back into your life. Maybe he wants to show you that he’s changed and that he’s ready to commit to you again.
12) This guy feels guilty for leaving you
Did he leave you? If so, maybe this guy is feeling guilty for leaving you.
Maybe instead of using his head and looking out for his own best interest, he’s using his heart and coming back into your life to make things right.
He might have left you for all the wrong reasons… and he knows it. And it’s eating him up inside.
In other words, he’s not sure if he made the right decision. He might be second-guessing himself and feeling guilty for leaving you.
So what does he do? He comes back into your life to make it right again.
13) He is simply out of options
I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but it might be true.
If a guy keeps coming back into your life and you have no idea why it could be because he’s simply out of options.
When there’s no one better for him to spend time with, he’ll contact you.
However, this doesn’t mean that he sees you as the best option for him… he’ll do so simply because there’s no one else.
Look, if a guy keeps coming back into your life, it could mean that he just wants to have some fun… it could be that he’s just out of options.
I know this is hard to hear and accept, but we’re all human. We’re simply trying to figure out love and make sense of our emotions.
14) This guy is the controlling type
This type of guy won’t allow you to do anything that might stop him from being in control… he’ll just keep leaving you and coming back into your life over and over again.
He’ll always want to be the center of attention, the top dog, and the one with all of the power. Such a man won’t stop until he gets what he wants.
But, what does he want?
His behavior can be explained as a form of control. This guy could simply try to control you and all that you do. He could simply want to show you who’s in charge… and keep his power over you.
His desire to be in charge makes him behave like that. In a way, he knows that with you in his life, he can’t lose control… so that’s why he keeps doing this no matter the cost.
15) He can’t stand the idea of you being with another man
This reason is really selfish. Why?
Because this guy doesn’t want you to be his, but he can’t stand the idea of you being with another man either.
Why would he do that?
When he does this, experts say it’s because he’s afraid that he will lose you for good.
While this may sound like a paradox to you, it’s not, if you think about it. He’s afraid that you will not go back to him if someone else can give you what you need.
Even if he’s not made up his mind about you yet, he still wants you to be there whenever he’s in the mood to spend time with you.
That’s unfair, isn’t it?
16) This guy left you before and you took him back
This point is about habits. What do I mean?
If a guy left you and then you took him back, then he will most probably leave you again, thinking that you will take him back, just as you did before.
In other words, he’s not expecting you to reject him. He expects you to welcome him back, as you did in the past. He thinks that you will give him a third, fourth, fifth chance.
However, this shouldn’t be true. You should do your best to avoid this. Why?
This situation is actually a cycle that has repeated itself a few times before and will likely repeat itself again in the future.
17) He’s changed and seeks your approval
Men are complex creatures, so this list continues with another reason men keep going back to the same woman: they have changed and they seek approval.
Basically, men are always trying to prove themselves to others. They’re trying to prove that they’re worthy, strong, and capable.
And this is also why this guy might try to prove something to you through his behavior: he may want to prove how much he’s changed and how much he’s capable of doing.
But what does this mean?
He might want to give your relationship another chance. Now that he’s a better version of himself, he could think that your relationship might work.
18) Things didn’t work out between him and his other options
I know this is something that you don’t want to hear either, but it’s understandable.
This guy is simply comparing you to other women and seeing whether or not you are the best option for him.
He might have left your relationship before to date other women…
But, it took a while before he could come back into your life. He needed some time to evaluate the different options that were available to him and decide which one was better.
So, the bottom line here is that he needed time to figure out what was best for him.
However, this doesn’t mean you are the best for him or that he will stop searching. Not even if he repeatedly comes back to you.
19) Someone in his life pushed him to go back to you
I know this might sound a bit crazy, but it’s possible. How come?
If someone in his life is pushing him back to you, then he will inevitably go back to you even if he’s unsure about you.
Some examples I can think of are:
- He has a friend who has a crush on your BFF. So, you being together would benefit the other two.
- His mom liked you a lot and he cares about what his mom thinks.
- He’s friends with your friends and doesn’t want to lose them.
Don’t get me wrong, these reasons are childish, but they are still a possibility.
They definitely won’t help your relationship because the power of someone else shouldn’t be what pushes you and him together.
How do you deal with a guy who keeps coming back?
Regardless of his reasons, this guy keeps coming back into your life. So, when he does come back, how should you react?
First, you should ask yourself, what is it that you really want. Do you want him to just “come back” into your life or do you want to be a part of something new?
And second, consider that this guy still has his issues. He may not have changed completely and the same things might be happening with him that always did.
In other words, consider that this guy might still have some things to figure out. Don’t lose yourself for him. Don’t give him all of your precious time and attention.
If you focus on your own happiness, then everything else will fall into place. You’ll be able to see who he really is, as a person and a man, and you may find that this guy isn’t the right one for you.
Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want me?
The question of why a guy keeps coming back can be confusing.
But, it might be easier to answer the question: Why does he keep me around?
It’s because you still have something to offer him – whether that’s companionship, sex, or something else.
So, even if he doesn’t seem that into you or doesn’t love you anymore, he still wants to spend time with you and is willing to accept whatever comes his way.
What should you do?
I know this sounds really bad and heartless, but, in the end, if he doesn’t love you, then there’s no point in trying to make him love you.
If he keeps coming back to you, then it’s because he doesn’t want you out of his life, but it doesn’t mean that he loves you.
So, instead of trying to make him love you, you should focus on yourself.
How can you be a better person? What can you do to improve the quality of your life?
If you continue to focus on yourself and your own happiness, then he might gradually realize that you’re the one for him.
He keeps coming back into your life. What should you do?
By now you should have a good idea of why this guy keeps coming back into your life.
So what can you do to resolve this?
Well, I mentioned about how a gifted advisor has helped me in the past. When I got a reading from them, I was blown away by how kind and genuinely helpful they were.
Not only can they give you more direction on what the future holds with this guy, but they can advise you on what’s really in store for your future.