13 reasons married men often miss their mistresses (the only list you’ll need!)

It’s unfortunate when married men look for love somewhere else.

Whether they’re looking for an escape or simply enjoy the attention and excitement, there are plenty of reasons why men might cheat on their wives.

So if you’re wondering why your married man is missing his mistress, here are some likely explanations.

1) They miss the physical intimacy.

In some cases, the husband may be content with the level of physical intimacy he has with his wife and does not feel the need to seek it elsewhere.

However, in other cases, the husband may feel that his wife is not providing enough physical affection and may turn to his mistress for that missing element in their marriage.

The excitement and novelty of a new relationship can be hard to resist, especially if the husband feels that his wife is not meeting his needs.

Sometimes, the husband may even begin to develop feelings for his mistress and want to leave his wife for her.

But it is important to note that though an affair can be thrilling and exciting, it can also be risky and dangerous. If the husband’s wife finds out about the affair, it could destroy their marriage.

This could only mean disaster for everyone involved!

2) They miss the excitement and adventure of an affair.

Married men often miss the excitement and adventure they once felt at the beginning of their marriage.

While they may love their wives, they can’t help but feel a certain stirring when they’re around their mistress.

There’s an intensity to the relationship that simply can’t be found in a traditional marriage. This isn’t to say that all married men are unhappy with their marriages.

But many do find themselves longing for something more.

And that’s where a mistress comes in. A mistress is someone who can provide that missing piece in a man’s life.

She’s exciting, adventurous, and always up for anything. She’s also usually very beautiful and sensual.

In short, she’s everything that a wife isn’t. And that’s why married men often can’t resist the temptation of an affair with their mistress.


Because it’s an escape from reality.

If it’s discovered, it could ruin a man’s marriage and career. But for many married men, the risk is worth the reward – which could really go sideways.

3) They miss feeling desired and wanted.

It’s no secret that many married men often feel unappreciated and undesired by their wives.

Though they may love their spouses dearly, the day-to-day reality of life can sometimes make it feel like the spark has gone out of the relationship.

For these men, having a mistress can be a way to recapture some of that lost passion.

Of course, there are many risks involved in having an affair, both emotional and practical. But for some men, the rewards outweigh the risks.

They may enjoy the feeling of being wanted and desired again, something that is often missing from their marriage.

They may also find themselves more sexually satisfied than when they are with their wife. Of course, affairs are not the answer for everyone.

But for some men, they can be a way to add excitement and passion back into their lives.

Married men often miss feeling desired and wanted by their wives.

As they say, too much familiarity breeds contempt.

But you know what?

It’s not impossible to feel desired and wanted in your marriage as well. And if you feel this is something you lack in your marriage, it doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve it.

Trust me, I’ve been there — stuck in the routine of life, feeling that my needs for intimacy and desire were slowly dwindling away. 

I thought it was just how long-term relationships work and tried to accept the lost spark.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Thanks to famous shaman Rudá Iandê’s insights from this free Love and Intimacy masterclass, I realized that a good relationship requires effort from both partners.

He taught me that instead of looking for validation outside of my marriage, I needed to work on the bond with my spouse.

Now I know I don’t have to accept a monotonous relationship as my forever reality.

So, if you’re stuck in a relationship rut and miss the feeling of being truly desired, I can’t recommend this masterclass enough.

Here’s the link to the free masterclass.

4) They miss the sex, plain and simple.

Let us face it.

For married men, having a mistress is often about sex. Plain and simple. It’s not about love or companionship.

It’s about getting their needs met that their wife isn’t providing. There are many reasons why a man might stray from his marriage vows.

He could be unhappy with his sex life at home. He could feel like he’s not getting enough attention from his wife.

Maybe she’s always working or taking care of the kids and he feels neglected.

Whatever the reason, a mistress can provide what he’s missing. A mistress is someone who is willing to meet his needs without judgment or strings attached.

She provides him with the physical and emotional intimacy that he craves. And she does it on her own terms.

This can be a dangerous arrangement for both parties involved. The mistress is at risk of getting her heart broken.

And the husband is at risk of getting caught and ruining his marriage. But for some, the risk is worth it.

5) They miss having someone to talk to about things they can’t tell their wife.

Married men often miss having someone to talk to about things they can’t tell their wives.

Having a mistress can provide them with the companionship and understanding they crave, without the commitment or stress of a traditional relationship.

For some men, having a mistress is simply about sex.

But for many others, it’s about finding someone to confide in, someone who will listen without judgment and offer advice or support.

A mistress can be the perfect sounding board for a man who feels like he can’t talk to his wife about certain things.

Of course, this type of relationship comes with its own set of challenges.

It can be difficult to keep things purely platonic, and there is always the risk of getting caught.

But for married men who are struggling to find companionship, a mistress can be a godsend.

6) They miss feeling alive and passionate.

pexels mikhail nilov 7719318 1 13 reasons married men often miss their mistresses (the only list you'll need!)

Married men often miss feeling alive and passionate, which is why having a mistress can be so appealing.

A mistress provides an escape from the mundane routine of daily life and offers a chance to feel desired and wanted again.

While a mistress may not be able to replace a wife, she can certainly provide some much-needed excitement and passion in a man’s life.

Of course, there are also some downsides to having a mistress.

A married man risks damaging his relationship with his wife if she ever discovers the affair.

There is also the potential for financial ruin if a man lavishes too much money on his mistress.

And, of course, there is always the chance that a mistress may fall in love with her married lover and want more than just a casual affair.

The married man is treading on dangerous waters and if he won’t make it right, he must be ready to face the consequences.

7) They miss the freedom to be themselves without judgment.

Married men often find themselves in a dilemma. They are torn between their responsibilities at home and their desires for freedom and independence.

On one hand, they want to be good husbands and fathers. On the other hand, they crave the excitement and adventure of an affair.

Think about this.

Who doesn’t want adventure?

This conflict can lead to a lot of inner turmoil and stress.

A mistress can provide an outlet for a man to explore his wild side without judgment. She can also help him feel more alive and passionate.

In many ways, a mistress can be the perfect solution for a married man who is struggling to find himself.

But if I may say, it would be more liberating if instead of finding a mistress, a married man seeks comfort in his wife.

I completely get it — the allure of feeling free, independent, and accepted can be intoxicating.

But as I told you, it’s entirely possible to feel this way within your marriage.

I had similar struggles, torn between duty and desire, but the key to resolving this was to bring that sense of freedom and adventure into my marriage itself.

Through Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy masterclass, I learned that the deepest, most fulfilling sense of freedom comes when both partners fully accept each other — flaws, quirks, and all.

And if you find yourself missing the freedom to be yourself without judgment, this free masterclass could be the answer you’ve been searching for. 

Click here to access the Love and Intimacy masterclass.

8) They miss feeling appreciated and valued.

It’s no secret that married men often seek out mistresses.

And while there are many reasons why this may be the case, one of the most common is that they simply don’t feel appreciated or valued by their wives.

This isn’t to say that all wives are unappreciative or that all mistresses are appreciative.

But it is often the case that a mistress will make her lover feel more appreciated than his wife does.

There are many ways in which a mistress can show appreciation for her lover.

She can make an effort to always look her best for him, be attentive and responsive to his needs, and generally make him feel like he is the most important person in her life.

Additionally, she can make sure to verbalize her appreciation for him on a regular basis.

Of course, it’s not always possible or realistic for a mistress to be as attentive and appreciative as she may like.

But even small gestures can make a big difference in how appreciated a man feels.

9) They miss the compliments and flattery.

What it means is this.

Many men cheat on their wives because they crave the attention and flattery that they feel they are missing at home.

A mistress can make a man feel special and appreciated, something that may be lacking in his marriage. She can provide this physical outlet and make a man feel wanted and desired.

For men who need the reassurance of their masculinity, sometimes a mistress is what they think they need.

They want to hear words of flattery and compliments which may often be overlooked by the wife who’s also burnt out from taking care of the kids and managing the household.

They feel like the wife no longer gives the attention they need so they turn to their mistress for the validation they want.

10) They miss having someone to spoil and pamper them.

Some men feel they miss out on having someone to pamper and spoil them when they are married.

Their mistress provides them with the attention and affection they crave, as well as the sexual satisfaction they may be lacking in their marriage.

While some men may view their mistress as nothing more than a sexual partner, others form deep emotional attachments to them.

These men often find themselves drawn to their mistresses because they provide an outlet for their feelings and emotions that they may not be able to express at home.

For these men, their mistress is someone they can confide in and trust implicitly.

11) They miss the closeness and connection they shared with their mistress.

The physical intimacy, the conversations, the secrets, the laughter, the glances across a crowded room – all of these things can make an affair seem like something more than just sex.

For some men, the affair is a way to feel alive again. They may feel trapped in their marriage, or like they’re just going through the motions.

Think about it this way.

An affair can be a way to escape the boredom or routine of everyday life. It can also be a way to get validation and attention that’s lacking in their marriage.

A mistress can make a man feel important and desired. She may listen to him in ways his wife doesn’t, or make him feel like he’s the only one who matters to her.

That is why for some men, the allure of an affair is too strong to resist.

12) They miss the stolen moments of happiness together.

Married men often miss the stolen moments of happiness together with their mistress.

They have to spend time away from their families, working long hours to make ends meet.

And when they are home, they are usually too tired to enjoy the company of their wife and children.

As a result, they often turn to their mistress for companionship and intimacy.

Although having an affair can be exciting and thrilling, it can also be very stressful and anxiety-inducing.

13) They miss the hope and possibility of a future together.

When a man is married, he often misses the hope and possibility of a future together with his mistress.

This is because when a man is married, he already has a wife and family that he is responsible for.

As such, he may feel like he cannot afford to have a relationship with another woman.

Additionally, married men may feel like they are betraying their wives if they were to pursue a relationship with another woman.

Final thoughts

Now you know that having a mistress might offer short-term excitement, but it’s often a sign of deeper issues in your marriage.

Instead of looking outside for happiness, it’s better to confront what’s missing in your life.

But if you find yourself tempted by the allure of an affair, perhaps it’s time to examine the deeper issues at hand.

The thing is that affairs are often a band-aid solution for what could be a deeper emotional or relationship problem.

Still, I know it’s not easy to find a lasting solution. As I mentioned, I felt the same. But Jeanette Brown’s Reset Your Life Compass Challenge was the wake-up call I needed.

This free 5-day journey is designed to set you on a deliberate pathway to a happier life, grounded in your own values.

From learning personal journaling techniques to assessing different aspects of your life and even creating a targeted action plan, this challenge helps you refocus and take meaningful steps towards a fulfilling life.

So why look outside your marriage for what’s missing when you could find it within yourself?

Click here to access the free challenge and rediscover what truly matters to you.

Picture of Jude Paler

Jude Paler

I am a poet with a positive outlook in life and a writer with a purpose in mind. I write to express my thoughts so that others will be inspired.

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