BY Paul Brian
It’s a feeling of not really seeing a point in continuing and being truly, deeply exhausted.
No matter how sure you were at one point, it seems to have faded away. Your interest and passion are gone.
It may feel like all the former identities and labels you were sure were you are being stripped away.
In addition to not feeling motivated and losing a sense of who you always thought you were, comes a deep sensation of nullity.
Those identities and purposes that you previously were sustained and driven by just no longer do it for you.
The desire to get up and become active in your life and actually do something with yourself is at zero.
You feel trapped in this existential merry go round, except instead of having fun you’re nauseous and just want it to stop.
Your mind is either full of thoughts or full of a dreadful kind of nothingness that keeps you awake.
Part of the reason for the insomnia is that there are often symptoms of intense anxiety and dread involved in spiritual death.
Not only do you feel no ability to direct or shape what is happening, you also feel like every change is an assault or imposition on you.
Try to reach out to a spiritual advisor. They will give you deep insights into what was going on in your spiritual life and why.
This ends up creating a self-defeating loop and doesn’t actually do anything to exempt you from the rigors of life and the usual stresses and demands.
This is the point at which you may take bold actions and go through various soul deaths as you undergo life changes.
You may feel like you are longing for a kind of golden past that never even really existed… Almost like you’re peering in on another reality.