Relationships are about two people coming together – being selfless, meeting halfway, and making decisions as a team.
You know, give-and-take.
At least, that’s how it should be.
But what happens when your relationship becomes one-sided?
Things began fairly even. Romantic gestures, gifts, words of gratitude – the works! But now? Well, if we’re being honest here, they feel off-kilter. Some might say imbalanced.
Suddenly, it’s all take, take, take!
The sweet nothings, undivided attention, and loving looks have all but ceased. Instead, your partner seems distant and withdrawn.
Not only that.
But when it comes to compromise, it’s ALWAYS you having to make the sacrifice. They come first.
Worse still – your partner doesn’t even acknowledge it. And they’re certainly not grateful.
Just like that, the honeymoon period is over.
So, if you recognize these eight worrying signs, it’s time to have a conversation with your significant other. Because chances are, you’re giving more love than you’re receiving.
Let’s see if any of these ring true for you.
1) They take you for granted
You’re a natural giver and you love nothing more than making people happy. In return, it provides you with joy and a sense of purpose.
So, when it comes to doing things for the person you love, you can’t help yourself.
It could be cooking their favorite meal, letting them have the last slice of cake, or simply offering a shoulder to cry on.
In short, you’re fully invested. And when the chips are down, you’re all in.
But can you say the same for your partner?
Truth is, you can’t remember the last time they acknowledged all the little (and big) things that you do for them. In fact, they seem completely oblivious!
It’s become expectant of you.
Sound familiar? Well, they might be taking you for granted.
Of course, you don’t need a thank you every time. That’s not why you do it.
But let’s face it.
Being undervalued sucks and it does nothing for your self-esteem.
So when they don’t put in the same time and effort as you or they fail to recognize your contributions through emotional validation, it can hurt and leave you feeling rejected.
Something that makes…
2) You constantly bicker
You love your partner. That’s why you regularly shower them with attention, praise, and endless cat gifs (just to make them smile). It’s like you live to please them.
You tell yourself “It’s nice to be wanted.”
So, it’s difficult for you to tell them when you’re unhappy in the relationship.
But here’s the thing.
When it’s all give and no take, it can build resentment. But I don’t just mean for you.
From your perspective, you’re doing a nice thing. But for the receiver, all that affection, extravagant gift-giving, and kind words can be overwhelming.
Let me put it this way.
They feel pressure to reciprocate.
It’s like there’s a non-payable debt hanging over their head – with no way out. It’s suffocating. Controlling even. And when they don’t live up to your standards they feel guilty.
Even if you don’t expect anything in return.
As a consequence, this boils over into frustration and stress. Because – who can complain about someone being nice, right? Especially when it’s someone they care about.
In response, they might ignore the things you do to feel better about themselves. This, however, leaves you feeling underappreciated and undervalued.
And that communication breakdown leads to (you guessed it) bickering.
Something that can cause distance in the relationship and make both parties feel isolated if left unaddressed.
That brings us to the next point.
3) You feel lonely
Are you constantly fitting your plans around your significant other? Perhaps they make you feel like their time is more important than yours.
Or maybe, you simply long for physical touch.
Well, it sounds like you’re giving more love than you’re receiving.
And that can get pretty lonely.
According to experts, romantic loneliness is actually very common. In fact, this study found that married people experienced greater loneliness than those who were unmarried.
Shocking, right? But think about it.
If you’re persistently overlooked by your partner or they continually ignore your needs, it creates distance.
And whether it’s intentional or not, that absence of reciprocation can feel like they’ve lost interest or that you’re riding solo.
In other words, it’s one-sided.
Just take this study, for instance.
Some of the main reasons included lack of appreciation, disengagement, unavailability, or that their SO was emotionally shut off.
While a high percentage of participants cited that they “Invested in the relationship without getting anything back.” Or that their “Partner had no time” for them.
4) You’re always the one to initiate
Are you always the one to make the first move? Hugs, kisses, and even holding hands – I’m talking skin-to-skin contact. Something you can’t get enough of.
Hey, it’s your love language, after all. And that’s perfectly fine.
In fact, physical intimacy is important in any healthy relationship (and I’m not just talking about sex).
Human touch can help build connection and a sense of closeness with the person you love.
What’s more, research shows the simple act of cuddling can strengthen your relationship. It can also boost your mental well-being.
But if your partner doesn’t respond in kind, it may feel like you’re putting more in than you’re getting back.
And that’s when it becomes a problem. Not to mention, it can be a major blow to your confidence.
But it doesn’t stop at physical intimacy…
5) There’s one-way communication
In this day and age, it’s easier than ever to keep in touch with people and we’re never short of ways to communicate with our loved ones.
Email, text, video calls – you name it!
There are multiple methods to choose from and it’s a great way to check in and show someone you’re thinking of them.
Or simply send them silly memes.
But what happens when you’re the first (and only) one to reach out? Or your partner frequently leaves you unread?
And when they do finally listen, they don’t actually hear you. Never mind show an interest in what you’re saying.
It’s frustrating, right? Not to mention, hurtful.
Healthy communication is one of the most important cornerstones of any relationship. It can resolve conflict, bring you closer together, increase understanding, and help you get to know each other better.
Plus so much more.
At its core, it’s a way to give and receive feedback – or gain validation.
In fact, research shows that couples who talk frequently experience higher relationship satisfaction than those who don’t.
After all is said and done, conversation is a two-way street. If you’re the only one contributing, then it might be another sign that this relationship isn’t equal.
Ultimately, without good communication, things can seem rather bleak.
And if we’re being honest here…
6) It’s hard work
Do you feel drained or emotionally exhausted from constantly trying to make the relationship work?
Well, that’s perfectly understandable.
When you’re putting in enough work for two (and then some), can be extremely tiring. Especially when you don’t get anything in return.
Most of all, though. It’s not sustainable.
There’s only so long you can do all the leg work, whether it be emotionally, physically, or financially.
And if things continue like this, it’s only a matter of time before you suffer from burnout. Something that doesn’t bode well for your relationship or your mental health.
But it shouldn’t be that way.
Healthy relationships require balance and equal investment. It establishes mutual respect and it proves that you’re committed.
Sure, your partner isn’t necessarily taking advantage of you (not on purpose anyway). But always being the one to tank their rants, pick up the pieces, or make sacrifices for their happiness is a major red flag.
No wonder you’re running on empty every time you see them.
As a result, you don’t feel like you can depend on them or share your problems, wants, and needs.
And that brings us to the next sign.
7) They don’t care about your interests
Look, it’s perfectly normal to have different hobbies and pastimes from your partner.
It can actually be a good thing.
Not only does it encourage individual growth, but it helps retain a sense of self in the relationship. It may also bring you closer together.
But just because you don’t like the same things, doesn’t mean you can’t show an active interest in the things that they love.
It can be as simple as asking about their day, listening to their concerns, or following up with some related questions.
It’s how you get to know each other.
Plus, it demonstrates that, while you may not like the same things, you care about them and their happiness.
However, if it’s always you doing the asking, it’s starting to sound like you’re giving more than you’re receiving.
And it might be time to ask yourself if they care as much about you, as you do about them.
8) You feel neglected (and ignored)
At the end of the day, relationships are a team sport – not a solo activity.
That means you both need to pull your weight if this romance is going to last.
So, when your partner consistently overlooks or ignores your needs it can be disenchanting, to say the least. Particularly when you give so much of yourself for the betterment of the relationship.
I’m talking blood, sweat, and tears.
I know, I know.
It’s difficult to admit that something isn’t working. Perhaps you find yourself constantly making excuses for their behavior.
You tell yourself, “They’re just having a bad day” or “They seem really stressed out right now.”
Anything to avoid rocking the boat.
But if they’re not contributing enough or they fail to recognize your needs (emotional or physical), it’s time to address the elephant in the room.
Otherwise, nothing is going to change.
For all you know, they could be completely clueless. Unaware that they aren’t giving you enough attention. They may even have different expectations about the relationship as a whole.
But here’s the thing.
Until you discuss it with your partner, your resentment is only going to grow and ultimately, you’ll both end up miserable.
