Women with high standards usually expect these 10 things in a man

When a woman has high standards, she has achieved a state of being where those standards are comfortable for her.

So she isn’t interested in being with a man that will teach her how to feel enough.

Okay, then what does she want?

Let’s find out! Here are 10 things a woman with high standards looks for in a man.

1) Patience

Patience indicates respect for someone’s time and autonomy.

A woman with high standards isn’t interested in becoming a side character in a man’s life. She has her own show happening and would prefer a well-written crossover.

It’s often expected of women to become men’s second mothers or cheerleaders. Which can lead some men to feel entitled to their partner’s time and energy.

Being able to be patient also says a lot about someone’s character.

A patient man is a man that is patient with himself. So they understand that the world doesn’t exist on their own terms.

So while she won’t be at your beck and call, she trusts your ability to be independent and respectful. 

That she sees you as an equal, not someone to micromanage.

Which is a huge compliment, honestly.

2) Realistic expectations

When someone says you should be more realistic, it implies that you’re asking for too much.

While you shouldn’t ask for more than you can give, this is more about staying curious about the person you’re dating.

A lot of men tend to become infatuated with women based on how that person fits into their fantasies.

So rather than actually getting to know her, some men will be more interested in getting to know how she can fulfill their egos.

Usually, this means that they won’t be interested in all the real aspects of being in a relationship. The tough but rewarding parts that create emotional intimacy and help you grow as a person.

But a woman with high standards doesn’t want to feel like she’s auditioning to be in a relationship with you.

And to have realistic expectations means that you are willing to leave your assumptions of what a relationship should be behind. 

So that you can use that energy to actually get to know someone.

3) Genuine compatibility

Just as she won’t change herself to be more desirable for a man, she doesn’t want him to do that either.

A lot of immature men get lost in the chase and the conquest. And they’ll change who they are to convince a woman to choose him.

Not because he actually likes her, but because he wants her validation.

It’s not romantic, it’s manipulative. And no woman wants to find out she ended up with a man who faked his entire personality. 

To value genuine compatibility, a man has to value himself beyond what society tells him he is. 

So many men tend to not take the time to figure out who they truly are because they are comfortable with the labels given to them.

And to do so, they need to tackle my next point:

4) Emotional intelligence

Anyone can be smart. But in this socioeconomic environment?

Emotional intelligence in men can be rare. Of course, it’s a spectrum!

But because of toxic masculinity, it isn’t as expected of men. Which convinces them that they don’t need to be!

When a man is emotionally intelligent, he won’t refer to the process of getting his partner a thoughtful gift as having to “mindread.”

And the idea of reciprocation is a given, not something available upon request.

He will also understand that emotions are powerful because it can help us figure out what truly matters to us as individuals and connect with others.

Emotional intelligence is necessary to be able to think for yourself.

Women with high standards are looking for a high quality relationship where they don’t need to teach men how to be decent human beings.

5) Vulnerability

Women with high standards usually expect these things in a man 2 Women with high standards usually expect these 10 things in a man

As I mentioned, emotional intelligence can help you connect with people in a more authentic way.

Because to feel, you have to let go of the need to logically make sense of everything using the labels that were given to you.

You have to show up honestly and not hide behind who you think you should be.

So in addition to being able to regulate your own emotions, a woman with high standards will want a man that can articulate them. 

In a way that shows that he’s at peace with himself.

It’s the only way they can meet each other in the middle!

Especially if a person is committed to their personal development, their relationships need to be able to energetically keep up.

6) Strong sense of accountability

Being able to be vulnerable is what gives accountability the possibility to exist.

Because how can you admit to being wrong if you’re scared of your own self?

Accountability is so much more than just wanting to do better. It is about self-reflection and discovery.

To want to understand the cause and effect of your own existence to change how your inner world shows up in the external.

So it’s important to have the humility to apologize and rectify your shortcomings. But it’s just as important to have a desire to explore yourself as a vessel of the unknown.

This isn’t just about what will sustain a healthy relationship or what women want. 

It’s about what it means to be a person on this planet and holding yourself accountable for what happens on it. 

It’s a part of being a man that understands his place in society.

7) Sense of responsibility

Men have more privilege than women in our society.

Sure, toxic masculinity and the patriarchy is a pain to us all. But who put those systems there?

Who upholds them?

The bottom line is men on average face discrimination in the form of hurt feelings and egos. While women have to worry about being murdered.

A man that is as intellectual as he is emotionally intelligent knows his place in the world as someone that has the power to do good.

This means staying educated on how you can use your privilege to help women and other minorities. As well as growing your understanding of these systemic issues.

In a relationship, this translates to a man being able to speak up if they hear misogynistic comments. And being willing to be the person that challenges the patriarchy.

Not only does this create a safe space for a woman to thrive, but it makes her feel understood. Which is far more valuable than being seen as the object of a man’s affection.

8) Open-mindedness

A lot of women who are committed to their personal development are at peace with their complexities. And they don’t want to have to censor themselves in order to be accepted.

Plus, they want to experience all that life has to offer, so it’s important that their partner won’t shame them for embracing that.

This doesn’t mean you have to say “yes” to everything she wants, but rather you should be able to match her level of self-acceptance.

Because we all know that toxic masculinity is a form of self-rejection that a lot of men struggle with. 

In addition, being open-minded is about enhancing the type of conversations you can have.

Just as she’s not a cheerleader in a man’s life, she doesn’t want a cheerleader either.

But rather someone that can enhance the conversations she has with herself.

9) Good sense of humor

Which means you have jokes that aren’t at the expense of others.

A person’s sense of humor is like a fingerprint. You can say a lot about yourself with a joke and flex your creativity and wit all at once.

And because humor comes in so many different forms, a woman with high standards wants a man that can make her laugh.

So it’s a way to really determine if someone is compatible with you.

Because if a man is able to understand her jokes, he will probably be able to lift her spirits when she’s sad, but also match her energy when she’s happy.

And generally speaking, a man that can laugh at himself shows that he is comfortable and confident in who he is. 

Which will never not be attractive.

10) Stability

Sort of a full-circle moment, and sort of obvious. But nonetheless, important.

This encapsulates everything from being emotionally stable to being materially stable.

And it’s important to mention this because there’s this notion that two people should come together like they are these puzzle pieces.

That they were both lacking something, but now that they’re together, they’re whole!

If that’s the case, then why bother getting to know yourself at all? 

Why not just spend the rest of your life looking for someone who will validate your insecurities by “fixing” them? As if you aren’t capable of doing it for yourself?

This type of mentality won’t fly with a woman with high standards. She did not go through all that work to think of herself as unstable.

So neither should the man that she chooses to date.

Women with high standards aren’t interested in what you can do for them. 

Because they’re interested in you.

And the least you can do is return the favor.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.