16 reasons why twin flames aren’t real & what to do about it

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Every year, numerous people who are just looking for love or having trouble in their current relationships look for a twin flame.

But did you know how many misconceptions there are about twin flames?

Hundreds of websites are dedicated to helping people find and connect with their twin flame, but is it really possible to find the one?

In this article, we’ll explore 16 reasons why twin flames aren’t real and what you can do about it if you’re struggling with a relationship.

1) It’s a romanticized idea coming from ancient philosophy

The concept of having your other half or twin flame is similar to the concept of soulmates.

It was first introduced by Plato and has been popularized by numerous works of fiction.

Twin flames are believed to be two halves of a whole, and when they meet, it’s just like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

Many people believe that twin flames are soul mates and that they were meant to be together from the beginning.

What happens if you don’t find your twin flame? Do you have to remain single for the rest of your life?


As a matter of fact, you can find someone you love and who loves you back if you take some time to think about what your twin flame really means.

It doesn’t mean that you’ll never experience heartbreak, but it does mean that the heartbreak will teach you something about yourself.

2) You don’t need “other half”

The main idea behind the twin flame philosophy is that you’re meant to be together with your twin flame.

And who is your twin flame?

They’re supposed to be with your other half.

But aren’t you one complete human being? Can’t you be completely on your own?

But the truth is, you don’t need a twin flame to be happy.

You don’t need someone else in your life to complete you – you are complete by yourself. You’re enough!

3) A twin flame isn’t the one for everyone

Twin flames are believed to bring balance and harmony to your life. You’re supposed to be able to share everything with them – your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

But what if that’s not true?

What if you have different interests and personalities? What if you can’t stand each other? Or what if one of you is abusive?

There’s no point in being with someone who doesn’t make you happy, who doesn’t respect you, or who doesn’t love you.

So if you’re in a relationship with your twin flame, and it’s not working out, don’t let the myths about twin flames stop you from leaving.

4) You’re allowed to be alone

When we talk about “finding your twin flame,” it seems like it’s an end goal. Why should we find someone else?

It’s because the idea of being with a twin flame is supposed to fulfill us and make us happy forever.

But that’s just not true! You can be happy on your own as well! And sometimes, being alone is exactly what we need to realize that!

You can be happy on your own, and you don’t have to be with a twin flame to do it!

So, don’t forget to find time to be alone with yourself.

5) There’s no such thing as “one true love”

The idea of twin flames is that you’re meant to be with only one person for the rest of your life.

You’re supposed to share everything with them and never want another person in your life.

But what if you meet someone else whom you can’t stop thinking about? What if they make you feel alive and whole?

Sometimes people fall in love more than once in their lives – it’s not a crime!

6) You shouldn’t let anyone tell you who is right for you

The idea of a twin flame is that they’re the one and only person in your life.

But there’s no such thing as “the one” because it’s not up to anyone else to decide who you’re meant to be with.

It’s not up to your parents, friends, or even the universe! It’s up to you!

If you love someone, you should be able to be with them no matter what anyone else says.

And if you don’t love them, then it doesn’t matter how much “energy” or “magical connection” you have – it just won’t work out.

7) It prevents you to move on

The idea of twin flames is that you have to be with them, no matter what.

But in real life, you can’t force yourself to love someone! And if you’re not happy with your relationship, it’s better to let go than stay in an unhappy relationship.

Do you really want to be dependent on someone else?

Do you enjoy the idea of waiting endlessly for a person who might not even come into your life?

You probably don’t.

You aren’t meant to be with anyone if they’re bad for you, even if they’re your twin flame.

So, if you want to move on and find someone you truly love, then it’s important for you to believe that there’s no such thing as “the one” and that there will be someone else out there for you.

8) You can be in love with multiple people at the same time

Not only can you fall in love a few times throughout your life, but you can also love several people at the same time.

Sounds a bit strange, right?

The idea of twin flames is that you can’t fall in love with anyone else, because you’re meant to be with someone else for the rest of your life.

What does it mean?

It means that you’re supposed to have only one partner in your life.

But what if you end up falling in love with several people? Or even more?

It’s possible, and it happens to many people!

  • But what if you meet someone else who makes you feel alive and whole?
  • What if they bring out a different side of yourself that you never knew existed?

You might not want to be with them forever, but at least it’s nice to know that there are people out there who make you happy.

And even if it doesn’t work out – at least you had some fun!

And that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist – it just means that you’re not limited to one person in your life!

9) It has no scientific bases

The idea of twin flames is that it’s a scientific phenomenon.

But what is it based on?

There are no scientific studies about this, and there is no proof for it.

Actually, the idea of finding your other half comes from Platos’ The Symposium. He stated that originally, human beings used to have four arms, four legs, and two faces.

That’s how he explains the urgency of finding someone else in your life who will make you feel like you’re whole again.

Does it make sense to you?

At least it doesn’t for me.


Because if you look closely at the idea, you’ll see that there’s nothing scientific about it!

10) It’s a way of controlling you

A lot of twin flame “teachers” try to control your life and tell you what to do.

They want to convince you that you’re not whole without them and that it’s impossible for you to move on because you’re meant to be together.

But the truth is that we don’t need anyone else to make us happy.

And if someone tries to control your life, then it’s time for you to move on! Even if they’re your twin flame!

Because there’s no such thing as “the one”.

And the only person who can control your life is you.

11) It’s a justification for being rejected

A lot of people who are in a relationship with someone and feel that it’s not working but don’t want to end it, try to find an excuse for why they’re still in it.

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And the idea of having a twin flame is exactly what they need!

It’s a perfect way for them to stay in a relationship that isn’t working because they think that there’s someone out there who’s their other half.

What does it mean?

It means you’re using a rationalization technique in order to persuade yourself that you’re doing the right thing.

But actually, you’re not.

Instead of feeling the thrill of love, you aren’t allowing yourself to have a happy and healthy relationship.

You’re clinging to your twin flame, who might not even believe the idea of being your twin flame.

But the truth is that their problem isn’t that they can’t find their twin flame – it’s simply that the relationship they’re in right now isn’t working.

And instead of trying to solve this problem, they just keep looking for an excuse for why they’re still in it.

12) There’s almost no chance to find this one person

Yes, it’s not statistically accurate.

Do you even have any idea how many people there are on earth?

Based on the latest statistics, as many as 7.9 billion.

Therefore, if you’re looking for your twin flame, then you have to ask yourself:

  • How likely is it that this person even exists?
  • And if they do, how likely is it that they’d find you?
  • And if they did find you, how likely is it that they would be interested in getting to know you or even like you?
  • And if they were interested in getting to know you or liking you, how likely is it that they would want a relationship with someone who’s already in one?
  • And if they were interested in a relationship with someone who was already in one, how likely is it that their partner would feel threatened and reject them instead of accepting them as their true love?
  • And if their partner would accept them as their true love, how likely is it that they’d accept you as your true love?
  • And if they accept you as your true love, how likely is it that you actually feel the same way about them?

I think you get the point.

13) Any person can be significant for you

Besides the fact that your twin flame is likely to not even exist, waiting for your twin flame is simply not worth it for one simple reason: anyone can be significant to you.

It doesn’t matter if they’re your twin flame or not.

Because whether you’re with them or not, they’ll still be important to you and in your life.

You can love someone without being their twin flame.

And yes, the same is true for your twin flame – they can love someone without being yours.

Even more. Some people who are in a relationship with their so-called twin flame still fall in love with someone else.

But can you love someone if you’ve already found your twin flame?

Based on the twin flame myth, you can’t.

But the reality is that – you can.

You can love someone and be in a relationship with them, regardless of whether they are your twin flame or not.

And the same is true for your twin flame – they can love someone and be in a relationship with them, regardless of whether you’re twins or not.

14) We have a biased opinion about our twin flames

There’s one more thing that you should be aware of.

We usually tend to have a biased opinion about our twin flames. Because we tend to see the best in them, we don’t see the bad in them, and because we want to see the best in them, we don’t see how they’re not perfect for us.

And because of this, we tend to overlook some really significant red flags that may be present with our twin flames.

For example:

  • They may have character traits that we don’t like.
  • They may have done things that we wouldn’t be proud of.
  • They may have made mistakes that we wouldn’t be okay with.

And so on…

But because we see the best in them, we don’t see any of this, and because we only want to see the best in them, we tend to overlook these red flags, which results in us getting hurt when it turns out that they’re not perfect for us after all.

And even worse – because they were our twin flames and because we believe in the twin flame myth, there’s also a high chance that our feelings for them will never go away.

We’ll still love them and we’ll still be in love with them, even if they’re not perfect for us.

All of this can be really detrimental to our relationships.

And the worst part is that – most of the time, it’s completely unnecessary.

Because if we’d just see the red flags and if we’d just accept them as they are, without seeing the best in them or wanting to see the best in them, we’d avoid a lot of heartache and relationship problems.

That’s why I believe that it’s important to know that you shouldn’t always see your twin flame as perfect.

If you do, you risk being hurt later on when you find out that they’re not as perfect as you thought they were.

15) You can still find happiness without finding your twin flame

Even when you know all of this, you can still find happiness.

You can still find love, joy, and fulfillment even if your twin flame is not in your life.

This is actually something that I’ve experienced myself.

When I finally realized that my twin flame was not in my life, I got really depressed and sad. I felt like my whole world had ended, and it was hard to imagine a future without him.

But then, after some time passed by and after I started to get over the shock of finding out that he wasn’t in my life anymore – I started to feel better again.

It took a long time for me to heal from the pain of losing him, but eventually, I did.

And when that happened, I suddenly realized that I could still be happy and fulfilled even without my twin flame.

16) Believing in twin flames is a wishful thinking

Have you ever heard the phrase “wishful thinking”?

In psychology, it’s a term that is used to describe the tendency to believe that some event is very likely to happen. It’s believing that your imagined reality is an actual reality even when you don’t have any justification for it.

And I believe that believing in twin flames is another example of wishful thinking.

When we believe in twin flames, we believe that our perfect soulmate exists and is out there somewhere, waiting for us to find them.

We believe that there’s someone out there who will be our everything and who will complete us – someone who’ll love us unconditionally and who’ll never hurt us, break our hearts, or leave us.

Once you start to believe in the twin flame myth, you’ll start to see your twin flame in every person you meet.

This will happen because you’ll want to see your twin flame in every person, and because you want it to be true, it will be true for you.

But that’s just a fantasy.

It’s not real and it’s not going to happen.

You’re just deceiving yourself if you think that this is possible.

And as more time passes by, the worse things are going to get for you if this is what’s happening in your life.

Because sooner or later, your twin flame is going to turn out to be someone who’s not who you think they are.

And when that happens, your whole world is going to fall apart.

What can you do about it?

If you’re reading this, it probably means that you’ve been struggling with your twin flame for a long time and you’re tired of it.

You want to be free from the pain and suffering that comes from the twin flame relationship.

But how can you get rid of this?

How can you move on and start living happy life again?

I have some great news for you – it’s not that hard to get rid of the twin flame pain!

The reason is that there’s no such thing as a twin flame in the first place. It’s just a myth or stereotype created by society. And as we’ve already broken down the myths associated with this concept, you can easily get rid of your toxic relationship.

There are many things that you can do to heal your heart and move on. But remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to figuring out your relationship.

It’s completely up to you and how you feel at that very moment.

Final thoughts

With all the interpretations and misconceptions, it’s no wonder that people are getting frustrated with the concept of twin flames.

However, there’s no need to.

Since you already understand what twin flames are and what people believe about them, now all you need to do is to make the right choices for your life.

Don’t be afraid because getting rid of someone who you called your “twin flame” might make you happier than ever before.

How this one revelation changed my love life

It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…

I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.

I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.

I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.

If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.

Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.

I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.

We do this by promoting his masterclasses.

One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.

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Best wishes,
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder

Written by Nato Lagidze

Nato is a writer and a researcher with an academic background in psychology. She investigates self-compassion, emotional intelligence, psychological well-being, and the ways people make decisions. Writing about recent trends in the movie industry is her other hobby, alongside music, art, culture, and social influences. She dreams to create an uplifting documentary one day, inspired by her experiences with strangers.

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