16 Reasons She Doesn’t Love You – And Why That’s Actually a Good Thing

It’s hard to think about this, but some people in our lives aren’t going to love us in the way we want.

They might not love us romantically because they don’t have time for a relationship or they just don’t have that extra something that we need. And that’s okay.

Even if someone doesn’t love you, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being loved. It just means that they’re not the right person for you, at this moment. This is good news!

Here are 16 reasons why she doesn’t love you – and why it’s a good thing.

1) She wants you to be happy, even if that means being with someone else.

This is the one that hurts the most. No one wants to hear this, but it’s true.

You shouldn’t be with someone who would rather you be unhappy than happy with someone else.

It is important to have a healthy relationship and not settle for anything less than what makes you feel fulfilled, loved, and respected.

If she knows she isn’t able to give these things to you, it means she wants you to find this sort of happiness with someone else. She wants you to have the best chance for love possible.

2) You now have new opportunities for love.

The relationship wasn’t as strong as you thought it was, and now you have a chance to meet someone who is a better fit for you.

The problem may have been that you were with the wrong person, so you can now find someone who is a much better match for you.

Or maybe the relationship just wasn’t meant to be, and now you can move on to someone who is a much better fit for you.

Regardless, by ending the romantic path, she is helping you to have more opportunities for romantic love in your life.

Every relationship is a lesson in love. It can be hard to deal with being in love with someone who can return romantic love. Use this experience to learn and move forwards and upwards!

3) You can work on being a better person without her.

It’s usually easy to see what’s not working in a relationship and what needs to change, but this only works if your relationship is based on love and respect. If it’s not, then it’s much harder to see what needs to be looked at in yourself.

Being with this special person showed you ways that you could improve yourself, love yourself more, and become a better person overall – even if the relationship didn’t work out.

You learned to understand your habits, weaknesses, strengths, and how they can be made into something positive to make them more sustainable for future relationships.

It is important to make mistakes and see ourselves as flawed. In the words of relationship advice expert Ester Perel, self-love is linked to self-esteem:

“Self-love is the ability to not fall into a puddle of contempt even when we mess up. It’s trying new things knowing that we could fail, without thinking of ourselves, therefore, as failures.”

4) You have new opportunities to strengthen all of your friendships.

You may have lost your girlfriend, but you still have many friends who care about you and want to spend time with you.

You can also make new friends who are interested in the same things as you.

By ending the romantic path, she is helping you to have more opportunities for friendship in your life.

Forming long-lasting, meaningful friendships are important for our health.

It might be difficult at first to make the transition from being single back into a relationship after losing someone special in your life, but it’s important that when dating again that there is no pressure on yourself.

5) As a friend, she can help you to understand your needs and wants.

When someone loves you, they’re going to want you to be completely happy and fulfilled in your life as a whole.

True love is selfless and thinks of you first, before thinking of themselves at all times.

Friendship can help us to love each other more deeply.

Perhaps she is the type of person that will do anything to make your life easier or better because she knows you’re worth it.

True love doesn’t care about looks; it cares about who someone is on the inside. She wants to help you truly meet your needs.

She is ready to be there for you in your life no matter what happens–no questions asked, just unconditional support and understanding, as only a friend can.

6) She feels more free to be close to you.

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As your friend, she won’t be afraid to see all aspects of your being.

Being close to someone is difficult.

When romance is taken out of the equation, she won’t run when you are being sensitive but manages to handle being around people who act so differently from her.

There’s nothing wrong with showing a little emotion and feeling deeply about things. It’s a good thing!

She won’t let her feelings get in the way of her life:

  • If you need someone to talk to, she’ll listen and advise if necessary.
  • If you need someone to hang out with, she’ll hang out with you without any strings attached.
  • She doesn’t want to feel like she’s “drowning” in the relationship
  • It might feel unhealthy for her as a person, rather than healthy and beneficial for both of you.

Having this special person as a friend can mean that you can be yourself around her and vice versa. In this way, you can both express your feelings openly and honestly.

7) As a friend, she is good for you when you are at your worst.

If you’re going through a hard time, as a true friend, she’s not going to run away from you or judge you.

Imagine a world where friendship, not marriage, was at the center of life.

True friends can be the most supportive people in your life when times are tough and they will help carry the load of what is happening for them so that it doesn’t affect their own lives negatively.

She’ll be there for you, whether it’s just to listen or to offer some advice and support, even when you are feeling low.

A true friend will love you at your best and worst.

8) She still wants to make a difference in your life, for the better.

A true friend will be with you through thick and thin – not just in good times, but in bad times too.

They’ll be there when things are going great, but they’ll also be there when things are going poorly. Lovers come and go.

Instead, this friend will want to help you during any tough times and make things better for you.

As a friend, she is better able to challenge you to make a difference in your life.

She can be the person who pushes you out of your comfort zone and helps with difficult tasks that might seem overwhelming or too big for one person alone.

9) She doesn’t need to keep a score of your relationship status.

Outside of a romantic relationship, she won’t think about how long it’s been since the two of you started dating, or how long it has been since the last time the two of you hung out, or question where your relationship is heading.

It can unfold naturally and organically between the two of you.

She wants to spend time with you because she cares about your happiness and well-being as a person – not because she wants something like marriage, a live-in partner, or a certain way of interacting with you.

10) She won’t have a hidden agenda.

She isn’t trying to use you for something or get something from you that she wants.

It’s common that people go into romantic relationships because they think that might benefit them in some way. They won’t care if they don’t make a difference to your life, or how much it means to you.

She doesn’t ask for money, gifts, or favors in return for the things that she does for you, because she genuinely cares about your well-being as a person rather than what she can get out of the relationship with you. She has no hidden agenda.

She is just looking for a friend who can offer her the same things in return.

She will be easy to understand and read because she will be honest and sincere about everything – there is no ulterior motive to her actions.

11) She knows she’s not the best match for you right now.

She knows that she’s not the best match for you right now, and she doesn’t want to hold you back from finding someone else who is better suited for you.

If things were different between the two of you and she knew that she was ready to be in a serious relationship with someone, then maybe things would be different between the two of you.

She’s making the difficult decision because maybe there are just too many differences between you two that can’t be resolved.

  • Maybe you are both very different people, and you can’t seem to be able to make things work.
  • Maybe she wants to focus on other things in her life right now
  • Maybe she doesn’t have time for a romantic relationship.

But as it is, she just isn’t ready yet, and when it comes to your happiness – she’d rather let go of the relationship than hold you.

12) She doesn’t want to cause you any heartache or pain.

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Romantic rejection can hurt us badly.

In fact, according to Psychology Today, rejection can hurt as much as physical pain.

She doesn’t want to hurt you by stringing you along – she’d rather do the right thing and end things before they get too far along.

She wants to do what’s best for both of you, even if that means ending things between the two of you before it gets too painful or hard on either one of you in the long run.

But having some pain now, it’s better than having a great deal of pain later.

13) She isn’t ready for anything serious.

You might feel that you have a deep connection with this special person.

However, she might have ended the relationship because she knows she isn’t ready to settle down.

Perhaps she’s not sure if she wants a long-term serious relationship right now. Things might have been going well for the two of you now, but once there is too much commitment involved, things could change.

She wants to keep things light and casual for now, rather than creating a relationship that could fall apart later on.

14) She is being honest with herself about her feelings.

She’s looking out for her feelings and needs as well as yours.

She’s mature enough to realize that she’s not ready to be in a relationship – whether it’s because she hasn’t had the time to get over someone else, or because she isn’t emotionally ready yet.

You wouldn’t want to love someone who is lying to you?

Being honest isn’t always easy. But it’s good for both you and her that she acts true to her heart.

15) She wants you to feel good about yourself too.

You probably want to spend time with her and be close to her because she can make you feel good about yourself and your life.

When you’re around her, you feel like everything is going to be okay, and that there’s nothing to worry about.

She makes you feel like you can do anything, and that you have the potential to be whatever you want to be.

She gives you the confidence and encouragement that you need in your life.

By accepting her friendship in place of romance, she can still be in your life and help you to feel happier and lighter. But ultimately, it’s time for you to believe in yourself again.

16) She respects your space and independence.

She knows how important your independence is to you, and she respects that.

She might know that she is very controlling and demanding in romantic relationships. Perhaps she doesn’t push you to do things that you don’t want to do or try to control every aspect of your life.

If she knows you well, and that you don’t like pressure, she knows she has to end things.

It’s hard to see, but she is doing what’s best for both of you. Even if it seems harsh and she knows that it won’t be easy for either of you at first, it will be worth it in the end.

“The heart was made to be broken.”

– Oscar Wilde

As hard as it is to accept, your relationship is what it is. You need to realize that she keeps things friendly for both her and for you.

Sure, it may seem like she’s doing it for herself, but she’s just trying to help you get back on your feet and be happy again.

She wants the best life possible for you. To get there, she’s giving you space, while remaining your friend. So, being without her is actually a good thing.

Anybody who doesn’t love you will only care about the parts of you that might benefit them in some way. They won’t care if they don’t make a difference to your life, or how much it means to you.

They’ll also be more likely to leave when they get bored with what’s happening and want something new – which is why people often say relationships are like holding hands on an escalator.

So, by backing out of the romantic relationship, it might show that she is able to care for you more authentically. She might know that she isn’t able to commit to a long-term relationship and wants you to have everything that you dream of.

Remember to enjoy the time that you have with each other, keep things positive and continue to learn and love, always.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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