I’m about to share some keys that can empower you to make good decisions in life. Or, at least, prevent you from making bad decisions.
Before we start, I wonder if you can count how many times you felt lost in your life.
I’m asking about a feeling that is a mix of confusion, despair, and helplessness. Can you recognize it lying in some dark corner of your emotional maze?
Can you count how many times you felt dizzy, empty, and alone, not knowing where to go, what to do, and what’s the point of life?
A few months ago I witnessed the birth of my grandson. It was a powerful and fascinating experience. Yet, it was shocking and I ended up learning a lot about myself.
The child’s first moments weren’t easy. After leaving his mom’s warm and humid womb, he found himself in a dry, vast, and loud new world. He found himself exposed, vulnerable and lost, and he cried.
Staring at his eyes I could recognize in him the same panic I’ve carried since I was born.
I could realize that most of the things I have achieved, even my most important accomplishments, were the fruit of my unconscious attempts of assigning purpose and meaning to my life, thus running away from my existential despair.
For being a human being, you may carry this same feeling.
You may have learned your own way to deal with it.
You may have sought refuge in science or spirituality, or both. You may have found a profession and you may have fought for your place in the world. You may have bet in love, family and friends to find meaning in your life. Your efforts may have succeeded, and you’re probably not lost, but very well planted in your life and in your purpose. Yet, that old feeling is still there.
It doesn’t matter how much knowledge you’ve achieved, how much love there is in your life, or how successful you are at work. In moments of uncertainty, you’ll still feel lost and helpless.
This feeling usually pops up in moments of crisis. Losing a job, breaking up with a partner, or mourning the death of someone close can bring you back to your inner place of uncertainty. And there’s the first key I have for you:
Don’t run away from uncertainty
There’s nothing more natural than feeling lost. We have many reasons for feeling this way.
First, our life is a constant fight to postpone death.
The prospect of the grave is right there at the horizon and it’s terrifying. Being alive is just a transitory state. Despite all our efforts to be safe, death will harvest each of us sooner or later.
It’s a fact: we’re waging a losing war against death and can only buy ourselves some extra time before our fatal end.
Secondly, our world is in constant transformation and we’re always struggling to adapt to the changes.
When was the last time you rented a DVD, for example? What happened to the guy who worked in the nearby Blockbuster after Netflix took the market? He’s probably an Uber driver now. Yet, Uber has already invested 1 billion dollars in the driverless car industry and in a few years the same guy will lose his job again as his profession will be extinguished.
Nobody is safe from change. Sometimes we can predict it, but there are situations that become completely out of our control. A simple virus is capable of turning our whole world upside down.
Third, our collective construction, our so-called society, doesn’t make sense.
Our governments and corporations have led us to the edge of a global climate crisis and there’s no light on the horizon. People are divided in their opinions and polarized to a point where there’s no path for dialogue, consensus, and union. Meanwhile, our whole civilization is being driven toward the abyss by mad people who are completely blind to anything beyond power and money.
These are only a few of the many reasons we have for feeling lost in this life. Yet, the world is full of people who look confident, who claim to have everything in control and know exactly where they’re heading to. It’s hard to know if they’re lying only to the world, or if they’re also lying to themselves, but for sure they’re lying.
Uncertainty is not welcome in our society. We’re conditioned to ignore it. To pursue more and more goals, and to fill our empty time with all sorts of entertainment. If you feel lost, the world will say there’s something wrong with you, and you should seek help in pills, a motivational coach, religion or spirituality.
But the point is, there’s nothing more real and natural than the feeling of uncertainty. And there’s nothing better than embracing it.
Embracing the chaos
Life is a chaotic mystery. We try our best to golden the pill telling ourselves stories about a beautiful afterlife, about how everything is part of a bigger plan or about an invisible hand that orchestrates everything and watches for us, but the chaos is still happening right in front of our eyes.
We tend to live inside of an imaginary castle, a place of order and balance that only exists in our illusion. But something really beautiful happens when you accept the chaotic and uncertain nature of life: you find freedom.
We do absurd things to run away from uncertainty. We stick to toxic relationships and to terrible jobs, mistreat ourselves chasing status and money, and put our faith in illogical religions and pseudo-philosophies which offer salvation, only to feel safe.
When you accept that nothing will bring you safety, you can shift your relationship with life.
It’s there when you can start making the choices that speak to your heart, and not to your fear.
All the time and energy you employ to construct and keep your comfort zones can then be used for much more constructive and exciting things.
The fear of the chaotic mystery of life will probably haunt you until your last breath. But once you’ve learned to behold the chaos, you’ll find a sense of amusement and reverence that will end up overcoming your fear. At this point, you’ll be living a profoundly honest relationship with life. Such a relationship is the real meaning of the word spirituality.
I would love to take you on a deeper journey where you’ll learn how to embrace the chaos of life and turn it into combustible for your creativity and joy. That’s why I’m offering you a special discount on my eBook, Laughing in the Face to Chaos.
Also, make sure to attend the masterclass, Free Your Mind, to learn more about how to live a healthy and empowering relationship with yourself and with life.