11 reasons why he is avoiding eye contact all of a sudden

Unless you’re a couple who likes staring at each other without saying anything all day, avoiding eye contact is an obvious sign of something going wrong.

It can be unsettling to have your partner not look directly at you when you are talking to him.

But don’t freak out yet! Here are 11 reasons why he is avoiding eye contact all of a sudden.

1) He is scared of letting you down

Have you ever had that feeling when you know you’ve made a mistake but you don’t want to disappoint the other person?

Well, he might have thought of disappointing you with an awkward talk or with something not going according to your plan.

For example, he might have thought that you two would go out on the town Friday night, but he’s got a lot of work to do and decided to take a rain check on the plan. Or, he might just be afraid of what your reaction will be.

There is nothing wrong with him being scared of letting you down. He just wants to make sure both of you are happy together and that he is doing his part as a partner.

Try to understand why he’s having a hard time making eye contact with you. Talk it out and you’ll be okay.

Pro tip:

You can help him out by giving him the courage to face you. Act confidently, be at ease and he’ll feel more relaxed.

2) He feels pressured by social expectations/pressure from family and friends

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Love is a very personal thing. It can get complicated sometimes and it’s not easy to let your feelings be known to everyone who knows you and your partner.

He might have been pressured by his family or friends, or by society as a whole, to live up to certain social expectations.

Knowing that you care about his opinion of other people’s expectations might help him open up; he might feel less pressured about the situation if you are there for him instead of criticizing him for not conforming to what others want from him.

So how do you know if he’s feeling pressured?

He might seem distant when talking to you and to other people. He might avoid eye contact with everyone.

He can have a somber look on his face like he’s just waiting for the opportunity to escape from the conversation.

Try to understand if he is being genuine or not. If he is feeling pressured by society, talk it out and ask him what makes him feel this way. Give solutions on how you can both become comfortable with it together, as a couple.

3) He’s lost interest in the relationship and just doesn’t know how to break up with you yet

Another reason why he might be reluctant to look you in the eye has to do with his feelings for you.

He might be feeling   by other people and wondering how to end it with you without hurting your feelings. It’s only natural to feel concerned when your relationship seems like it is falling apart and it’s getting harder and harder for him to keep his emotions in check.

I know it’s hurtful to hear your partner tell you that he’s no longer in love with you, but it’s true. He needs to end things so he can move on and find someone who is a better fit for him.

Don’t take his words to heart.

Instead of getting upset when he tells you this, try to read between the lines and figure out what’s really going on.

Knowing why he doesn’t want to break up with you will help you understand where his head is at and what it is that’s making him feel nervous about breaking it off with you.

4) He is probably just feeling a bit shy

This case is a bit trickier.

In this situation, the issue is not so much that your partner is feeling pressured by others, but that he is feeling anxious about expressing how he feels.

It could be that he’s too scared to tell you how much he cares about you, or afraid of losing you altogether (because he knows how important you are to him).

When this happens, the best thing you can do is give him the space to open up and express his feelings while reassuring him that he doesn’t need to keep them bottled up inside.

It gets better if you can learn to understand what message he’s trying to tell you. If you are patient and persistent, you will be able to figure out if the problem is more of social anxiety or something deeper.

5) There is something bothering him and he doesn’t want to talk about it yet

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This is probably the biggest reason for him to not want to look you in the eyes because he knows that very few people would be able to see what he is really going through.

The solution is simple:

Tell him that his silence has been bothering you and can’t wait any longer. You should mention a specific problem that your boyfriend has been ignoring and let him know that if he doesn’t talk about it with you, it will only be harder for him in the future

By getting him to talk about this, it will help him come up with a solution so he can move on and feel better.

If your partner has never had a relationship before, this might be difficult for them as they are not used to opening up to others, yet it could also solve their problem of avoiding eye contact.

6) He is trying to respect your boundaries

In this situation, your boyfriend is probably trying his best to respect your boundaries and not overstep them.

This sometimes happens when he knows that you have a lot of pride and dignity and don’t like people pressuring you.

For example, you just got a new job that pays well and you feel great about it. However, your boyfriend wants to have his friends over to celebrate with you; however, you have made the decision that it is not the right time for you.

When this happens, he will try his best to respect your decision and not push the issue anymore. When you make these decisions, be sure to explain them clearly so he knows what is going on.

The other reason why he might decide to respect your boundary is that a certain situation has changed your relationship with him as you find yourself in a situation that’s out of his control:

Like maybe if you got into an accident or had a problem with health issues and could not go on any dates for some time. You would want him to respect this boundary and avoid pushing through.

7) He’s feeling the weight of his promises

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Here’s the truth:

Every relationship is unique and has its own rules. That’s the main reason why we sometimes get into trouble with our partners because we try to make them obey what is “right” or “normal” even though they are not used to it.

Usually, most males don’t like people telling them what to do (or how to do it) in their relationships; this is important since they are very independent and don’t like people asking them for help.

This is another reason why he avoids eye contact. He doesn’t want to be the one who didn’t follow through with his promises because he is not used to this side of his personality.

There’s more:

In order for him to feel comfortable (and for you to feel good about yourself), he’ll do whatever it takes not to take responsibility for people’s actions.

Since he has been through a lot of tragedies and losses, he might have lost touch with his sense of patience and sweetness, so he might become very hard on himself when it comes to things that are out of his control or even when you are not by his side.

This happens because the possibility that someone else could “break” him or hurt him greatly overwhelms him and makes him become very hard on himself so nobody can ever break him; this is a defense mechanism that helps him maintain strong relationships, but at the same time isolates him from others.

8) He has a secret that he is ashamed of

This could be anything from cheating, to wanting children, or even being gay (if he is straight).

Humans are complex, and so are our relationships. Since we are all human beings, we sometimes make mistakes or do things that we should not do.

This is normal and it happens to everybody, including those who have never been in a relationship before: We all make mistakes.

Sometimes, though, the person who makes a mistake is ashamed of it and that makes him avoid eye contact because he doesn’t want you to see his secret.

So how should we deal with these situations?

First, avoid taking the wrong path or doing things that you do not like or that do not feel comfortable for you.

Second, if you want to know what he is hiding from you, ask him directly.

Third, when it comes to his secret (if he has one), be ready to accept it and forgive him. This means: Give him a chance as long as he’s ready to receive it and learn from his mistakes. He might feel uncomfortable about this; so let him work on himself first and then talk about the issue.

9) He has depression

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Trust me, depression is not the answer to everything. It is a fact that everyone goes through depression at some point, but this does not mean that we are all depressed or weak.

This is a mental condition that affects the way we perceive ourselves, the world around us, and our relationships with others.

If you suspect that your partner has depression, you need to be aware of your behavior:

Do you criticize him? do you feel jealous when he has other friends? an unhealthy amount of anxiety? etc.?

It’s important to understand that if he says he feels low or sad because he dealt with “something” in his past or something happened recently (such as the death of someone close to him) then there might actually be something wrong with his mental health.

In other cases (in which you consider them normal), try and see things from his perspective:

What happened to him disturbed him so much that it changed his state of mind and now he wants to act differently (for example, by avoiding eye contact).

This also happens when people have a lot of responsibilities on their shoulders, such as those who work for an organization where they don’t feel like their work matters anymore: They might just want to sleep at night and forget about it altogether in order to save energy and focus on their personal life instead.

10) He’s feeling unconfident around you

Maybe he still has some problems within himself, such as insecurity or low self-esteem.

When this happens, he might start to act differently: He might try to avoid situations where he is not as confident, or he might avoid being seen with you because it’s hard for him to stand up in front of you and talk about his issues when it’s important for him to be nice.

This is especially true if you’re more experienced in a relationship than he is.

Sometimes it may seem that he’s simply being selfish and unkind, but this is actually an attempt to protect himself.

11) He no longer finds you attractive

This is one of the most difficult situations to deal with.

You may have made some mistakes in the relationship, and you may have said or done things that he has not liked.

For example:

Maybe he got hurt because of something you did, or maybe he didn’t feel valued anymore due to your behavior. It is also possible that he just lost interest in you and found someone else who was more attractive to him.

If this happens (or if it already happened) then it would be a good idea for you to work on yourself:

– Look in the mirror and ask yourself whether you are doing something right or wrong;

– Look at your behavior and your communication style;

– Talk to other people about how they think you’ve been acting through this whole experience (for example, a friend, a counselor) because sometimes they will have better advice than someone who is not used to giving it.

Final thoughts

As I said before, the purpose of this article is to help you understand your partner on a deeper level and to help you avoid taking the wrong path in a relationship.

I hope that if you are in a relationship and have read this article, you will do your best to understand your partner better.

Picture of Thảo Anh Nguyễn

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles.

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