12 reasons why he is acting distant all of a sudden

Let’s face it, guys can sometimes be particularly difficult to deal with.

He’ll shower you with compliments one minute and then coldly brush you off the next.

He’ll tell you he loves you yet makes it hard to reach him emotionally.

If you’re on the fence about whether this is the right thing to do, read through these 12 reasons why he is acting distant all of a sudden.

1) He may be battling some type of mental illness

Men can often be secretive about their emotions and personal struggles, so it’s possible that he’s dealing with some type of mental health issue.

It could be a personality disorder, some type of depression, or even bipolar mood swings.

When guys self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, they become even more closed off and distant.

If you really care about him, try talking to him about it and see if you can get an honest answer out of him.

If not, then at least express your concerns to his parents and/or siblings – they may have a more open channel of communication with him than you do.

2) His work is overwhelming him

Are you used to seeing your man constantly at work?

Have you ever wondered why he doesn’t have time to see you anymore?

Is it possible that he is working a lot of overtime right now and then coming home and being too exhausted to see you?

If so, then he may be burying his head in the sand because his job might be stressing him out.

It’s not a good situation if this is the case.

Try talking to him about it and open a line of communication with him – maybe you guys can help each other.

3) He may have lost interest in you


It’s really tough to say this and even tougher for you to hear it, but here goes…

It’s possible that he may not be interested in you anymore.

This is especially the case if you guys have gone through a lot of breakups before or if your relationship was on the rebound.

And that raises the question:

Why does love so often start out great, only to become a nightmare?

And what’s the solution to this problem?

The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.

I learnt about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, and become truly empowered.

As Rudá explains in this mind-blowing free video, love is not what many of us think it is. In fact, many of us are actually self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it!

We need to face the facts about why your significant other is acting distant all of a sudden:

Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.

Far too often we fall into codependent roles of savior and victim to try to “fix” our partner, only to end up in a miserable, bitter routine.

Far too often, we are on shaky ground with our own selves and this carries over into toxic relationships that become hell on earth.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to the problem of love.

If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) There is a chance he might be cheating on you

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Maybe you haven’t thought of this or maybe you have and are hoping it isn’t true.

But either way, it’s not healthy to be in denial.

If you suspect that your man is cheating on you, then this might be a good reason why he’s acting distant.

He might be trying to hide his tracks by making you feel like he doesn’t want to be around you.

Try confronting him about it and asking him if there is another woman in the picture now.

And in case he admits to it, well then he at least owes you honesty – which might also lead to an opportunity for both of your sakes to initiate a breakup.

5) He may be dealing with a recent death in his family

Think about this for a moment:

Did you ever notice that the people who act distant most of the time are usually grieving?

This might be an ongoing issue or not, but you should always be sensitive to these types of behaviors.

These are people dealing with a recent death in their family and they often have trouble communicating their emotions.

Emotions like grief can bring on anxiety, which means when they do talk to you, it’s not likely going to go well – unless they are ready and willing to open up.

So it all adds up to this:

Your man’s recent behavior could be a coping mechanism for dealing with the loss of someone dear to him.

6) You have done something that has hurt him deeply

Maybe your man isn’t the one who is acting distant – maybe it’s you.

The truth is:

Some guys will take things far beyond what they can handle and push you away as a result.

Maybe you have been going through a hard time lately and he has been patient with you, but you have recently said or done something unforgivable.

Or maybe it was unintentional, but sometimes it comes down to the fact that he doesn’t want to be involved with someone who is so selfish and lacks compassion.

The point here is to recognize that there are two sides to every coin and emotions run high in both directions.

7) He might be dealing with his sexual orientation

This isn’t an uncommon thing to happen.

Oftentimes, guys have a feeling that they might be entering into a different stage of life than they used to be.

They may start seeing themselves in a new way and looking at things from another perspective.

This is not easy for any person to deal with – especially if the change is forced upon them.

Here are several signs that your man may be dealing with his sexual orientation:

  • He may stop answering your romantic advances.
  • He might start distancing himself from you completely.
  • He may have a sudden change of interests.
  • He may start to hang out with a group of people who are of the same gender as his.

Whatever the reason for his sudden shift in behavior may be,

The best thing you can do is to show respect and understanding.

But if he still refuses to open up, then love doesn’t exist – because it will have to wait until he is ready.

8) He is just testing your commitment level

This is one of the cruelest things that can happen to you.

And it’s all about the other person testing your commitment level.

Or maybe he thinks that you are going to leave him for another man who might be more attentive to your needs.

But whatever the reason may be, try not to take it personally – and look at this as a challenge in your relationship that can make you grow even closer than before.

9) You were too clingy or needy towards him at some point recently

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For some guys, being clingy or needy is just too much.

They’re not the kind of people who like to be smothered with a lot of emotions, so they will move away from you to give you some space.

You see, many people hold their true feelings inside because they don’t want to hurt anyone else.

When you do this too much, it may seem like he doesn’t love or care about you at all!

The point here is that sometimes it’s not even what you do – but how you do it.

So try to show him the same amount of appreciation that he showed to you.

10) You pushed too hard on him to commit

Imagine this:

You’re in a relationship and you start to push the other person towards making a commitment to you.

You may even use “I love you” or some other grand gesture to try to move things along.

But when you do this, it can feel like you are being suffocated and it is one of the worst ways you can break up with someone.

So then he starts pulling away and becomes more distant without saying a single word.

If he isn’t ready, then there’s a good chance that the relationship will end if you continue pushing him like this.

So instead of making it “all about you”, try giving him some space and letting him go at his own pace.

It will help to build up the trust between you two and make the relationship stronger in the long run.

11) His ex-wife or other previous significant other has come back into the picture

I know that this is a hard thing for anyone to deal with.

But sometimes, there’s nothing you can do about it except to understand why your boyfriend may be acting distant – maybe his feelings have changed but he isn’t ready to say it yet.

Just as it is human nature for a person to want to pass their genes on to the next generation, it’s also natural for us to regret past errors.

We may enter into a relationship due to certain circumstances, but if those reasons are no longer there then there’s no reason to remain in the relationship.

As such, he may have decided that he wants his ex back because he feels bad about how things ended and want a chance to make things better between them.

And if he had children with his ex then there is a good chance that you will have to share him with another woman.

Sometimes you can’t help the fact that your partner has bad or “baggage” from his previous relationships that he still has not dealt with – and this can cause problems in your relationship too!

12) He could be getting ready for a stressful event

Sometimes we run around getting so caught up in our own problems that we can’t be bothered to pay attention to anything else.

And if a person is not ready to deal with their problems, they will start to close in on themselves and become more distant.

For example, getting married, having a baby, opening a new business, or maybe even getting divorced.

This can be very distracting and stressful, so he might not be ready to be 100% available for you during this time.

Sometimes he is just trying to protect himself from feeling hurt by transferring his focus onto something else – like his job or interests in other women (or men).

So give him some space for now and he may return back to normal after a few months.

As you can see, there are various reasons why your boyfriend may have been emotionally unavailable – both good and bad!

But your true challenge is figuring out if the reasons are real or if it’s all just in your head (and heart).

In order to do this, you need to get inside the mind of your man and figure out what his motives might be based on past experiences with yourself and other women (or men) in his life.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, you will now have a better understanding of why your boyfriend/husband might have been aloof or emotionally unavailable and why he turned away from you.

As an alternative to getting angry and frustrated with him, I recommend that you instead use this as an opportunity to introspectively look into yourself.

And by this, I mean that maybe there are things about your own personality and behavior that are causing him to be pushed away from you.

It’s not always the other person’s fault – sometimes it’s our own doing!

So wake up, open your eyes and take some action!

Picture of Thảo Anh Nguyễn

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles.

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