Why don’t I care about others?
It’s important that I explain why because it’s not normal to not care about others.
Most people think the reason I don’t care about others is because I’m selfish. But the truth is very different.
I do want others to live a good life. I just think we too easily get wrapped up in each other’s lives without focusing enough on ourselves.
So with this in mind, I’m going to lay out my top 9 reasons why I don’t care about others. Hopefully by the end of this article, you’ll also care a little less about what’s happening with people around you.
1) I’m very busy.
The first reason is because I am too busy.
I know there are times when we all need to care more about others and make the world better.
Sometimes it’s only by caring more about those who are in need that we can bring some light into the situation.
But most of the time, it’s just not possible.
Degrees in social work aren’t going to make me less focused on myself and what I’m doing with my life. In fact, if I’m anything, it’s a person who is focused on their own life and doing what they like to do.
Sometimes I would like to go out on my own and go exploring or to see friends or just ride around in a car! But most of the time, I want to be spending time with others.
You know what else? There are times when I’d rather spend time with myself than with others too. Examples of this are going to the gym, reading a book, going for a drink on my own, etc.
I don’t want to be one of those people who’s always thinking about others while they’re getting on with their life but also feels bad when they do. Instead I like to get on with things without constantly feeling guilty that I’m not caring enough.
The fact of the matter is that I’m too busy to focus on other people.
Which brings me to the second reason I don’t care about others.
2) I don’t want to be wrapped up in other people’s problems.
The second reason I don’t care about others is because I don’t want to get wrapped up in other people’s problems.
I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to help them with the problems they have. It just feels like sometimes we get drawn into other people’s problems and end up obsessing over them.
This can be because the world has become a very busy place. With the internet and social media, it’s easier than ever to get wrapped up in what people are doing with their lives.
Social media is a big part of this problem as we see what our friends are doing or have been up to without us. Instead of taking a step back, it feels like we’re so wrapped up in other people’s lives that we forget our own.
Let me give you an example of how this can happen in real life.
I had a friend once who claimed to always have so much time on his hands. He would spend days watching YouTube videos and playing games. I do this too and it’s not always easy to let things go. But when you sit down to watch a movie together, you can just enjoy that moment together without thinking about what the other person is doing at that time.
Now, my friend is a very caring person and he cares about others immensely. And should I have been focusing on him more? Of course.
But I was wrapped up in my own head and thinking about how he was spending so much time on YouTube when he had so many goals for himself. I started yelling at him and ended up losing a friend.
I often think about the things I could’ve done differently to help him with his problems. But the fact is that it’s better not to care about other people because if you don’t, then you don’t get wrapped up in their problems.
3) I won’t be able to help them.
This is the third reason why I don’t care about others. It’s not that I don’t want to help others; it’s more that I can’t help them.
Instead, when you think about helping others, you need to keep their best interest in mind and aim for it being a positive experience for all involved.
If I was to start caring more about others, it would make me more focused on what they need. But ultimately, I have no idea what these people need or what will help them.
People who can’t think for themselves and who always seem to be in need of extra treatment aren’t really my cup of tea. Whether it’s because they’re too complicated or because they don’t care about others and do things deliberately wrong, I don’t want to give them the attention that they crave for.
I’d be worried about them doing something dangerous or upsetting to themselves.
4) I don’t want to be bothered.
This is the fourth reason why I don’t care about others. It’s because when you get wrapped up in another person’s problems, it can often bring out a bad side in you. It’s hard not to take things personally and it does seem like people care less about others if they’re having issues with them as well.
This is why I want to focus on myself. I want to be able to just enjoy the moments I have with people without worrying whether they’re happy or not.
5) They’re better off without me.
This is the fifth reason why I don’t care about others. It’s not that I don’t want to help other people because it does make me feel good inside when I do. But I’m just too worried about whether they’ll hurt themselves further if I do.
I’ve noticed that when I do try to help others, they still end up getting hurt regardless. Maybe it’s because I simply don’t know what’s best for them. I almost feel like they are better off without me.
I don’t want to cause them any harm and I do feel better when I help others. But at the same time, it’s not easy to have to deal with someone who is constantly in need of help.
6) It’s good for me.
This is the sixth reason why I don’t care about others. It’s because I feel like it’s better for me to be selfish when it comes to caring about others.
I have no desire to always make the situation better for others, but rather from a place of just doing what I want to do. If I do help others, it’s when I want to and not because I feel like I have to.
I’ve realized that it’s more important for me to focus on myself and just get on with things than trying to be a fixer-upper for everyone else.
This makes me a better person because I’m not the kind of girl who involves herself in things she needn’t worry about.
7) I don’t have the energy to care.
I’m also one of those people who doesn’t have the energy to care about others. It can be draining when you worry about someone else and they constantly need your help.
And with so much other stuff going on, it’s not always easy to keep my mind focused on others. This is why I try to focus on myself and my own needs because it’s hard enough trying to take care of yourself, let alone someone else as well.
If my energy gets drained, I’m not much good for the people around me, let alone for myself.
8) I don’t need others’ approval.
I’m also one of those people who doesn’t need the approval of others to feel good about myself. I feel good enough when I do help others, but usually because I had fun helping them rather than getting the praise for doing it.
I just like helping other people and that’s why it’s not hard for me to do when I do help them. The fact that they appreciate me just makes me feel even better about myself.
9) I take responsibility for my own life.
This is the last reason I don’t care about others and it’s the most important one. It’s because it’s not for me to decide what other people do with their lives or how they’re feeling.
Somehow, I feel like if I care too much about other people to the point of being interested in what they’re doing, then I am taking responsibility for their happiness. It’s not for me to do so and begins when you start looking at someone like a person who needs you to fix them up.
Do you want to stop caring what people think?
It’s so hard to stop caring what others think but it can be done. If you want to and if you’re willing to try, then I’m here to help.
The best thing that you can do is to just ignore what other people think of you and focus on yourself. You don’t have time for caring about others because there are things in your life that need your attention.
If you find it difficult to extricate yourself from your relationships with others, I suggest checking out the free masterclass with the shaman Rudá Iandê.
I took this masterclass a few months ago and it’s what made me stop caring about others. I learned how to become less judgmental, how to let go of my expectations and how to only focus on myself.
The key message in the masterclass is that we have to take responsibility for our happiness. We have to do things for ourselves because if we don’t, no one else will.
It’s not for people to make sure we’re happy or sad but rather, it’s up to us to decide how we feel so that we can stop caring too much about what other people think of us.
Many people believe that they need others’ approval to feel good about themselves but the truth is it’s much more simple than that.
Rudá Iandê makes the point that our relationships in life are a direct mirror of the relationship we have with ourselves.
When we can learn to love and accept ourselves, then others will love and accept us too. When our relationships become harmonious, everything falls into place in our life.
Rudá Iandê is an excellent teacher and his work has changed mine as a person in a wonderful way. I no longer care what others think of me because I have learned to just do what I want to do from a place of unconditional love towards myself as well as towards others.