So, you’ve finally moved on from her and that’s when she suddenly comes back?
I’ve been in that same boat, and it’s everything but easy.
When I had finally moved on from my ex after what felt like an eternity, I felt free at last. I thought I could do anything now.
That is until she suddenly texted me that she missed me.
Needless to say, I was confused and didn’t know how to feel anymore.
After all, I did love her once.
I spoke to a relationship coach who really helped me out, but I know that this situation can be really frustrating.
If you are in the same situation, I did some research on why women do that sometimes. Here are 10 reasons she comes back when you’ve moved on:
1) She wants to see how you react after she’s been distant
After a break up, most women won’t be in touch with their exes at all.
They are too busy processing what happened to them and putting themselves back together again after the breakup.
That is normal. However, every now and then, there is a woman who wants to see how her ex reacts after her has been distant for a while.
Asking yourself why she would want to see how you react is a great way to understand her actions better.
Why would she want to see how you react after she’s been distant?
Because maybe she’s still unsure what she wants and wants to see if you step up to the plate.
Or maybe she wants to know if you moved on so she can decide if she wants to do the same.
You see, when it comes to love, people often like to feel like they are the ones who “won” the breakup (aka had less intense feelings and got over it faster).
However, what often happens is that people who are in love with their exes leave them faster than they should.
And when a woman is left by her ex and then sees him again, she wants to see if he’s moved on. If not, she’ll stay back to get closure and go from there.
2) She’s still in love with you but doesn’t want to admit it
This is something I see happen often.
After a breakup, many women won’t want to admit they were in love with their exes.
The thing is, you can love a person without being in a relationship with them.
After a breakup, a woman may start to deny that she ever loved the person since the relationship ended.
She doesn’t want to feel the regret of having “failed” at the relationship and ending it.
If she loved her ex, then she failed at the relationship.
That’s a harsh reality to face.
She may be coming back to you because she loves you and wants the emotional reassurance of being in a relationship again.
Every breakup is a loss. Even when the relationship was toxic and bad, there’s still a sense of loss when it ends.
I don’t know how about you, but this ended up being the reason my ex came back into my life.
Of course, it took me a while to figure that one out, but once I did, it was good to know.
I knew that I had moved on for a reason, so I didn’t want to give it another shot.
3) Talk to a relationship coach and ask them
When I was dealing with this situation I felt at a loss of what to do. So much so, that I wasn’t sure if I could do it all by myself.
I mentioned it earlier already, but I talked to a relationship coach about my issue and asked them why she came back now that I’ve moved on.
While the main work had to be done by me, of course, my coach really helped me to get a good perspective on my situation and told me what would be wise to do.
Not only that, they also helped me to understand where she was coming from with her behavior!
Now, you can find any relationship coach that resonates with you, but if you are unsure where to look, I can really recommend Relationship Hero.
Trust me, when it comes to relationship problems, they were so knowledgeable and empathetic, I felt really good with them.
Sure, you can find any relationship coach, and they might be able to help, but from my own experience, Relationship Hero was a great choice.
4) She feels guilty and wants to apologize
She may have done something that she regrets and wants to apologize to you.
When you’ve moved on, she may want to apologize to you.
She may have done something that hurt you and she wants to apologize.
For example, she may have started to date another person right after the breakup and feels guilty about it.
She may want to apologize to you and come back to you because she feels guilty about dating someone else so soon after breaking up with you.
This is an important thing to remember as it can help you understand why she is coming back to you.
If she feels guilty, by all means, listen to her apology.
The thing is, you should forgive her, but that doesn’t mean you need to give her another chance.
You can forgive and still move on.
5) She wants an excuse to end things with the person she’s currently seeing
She may have started dating someone new after the breakup and now she wants to end things with that person.
She may be coming back to you and using the “I miss you” card as an excuse to end things with the person she’s currently seeing.
I know it sounds harsh, but she may have been dating someone for a while and just now realizes that she isn’t interested in that person and wants to break things off with them as soon as possible.
She may want to end things with that person as soon as possible and figures coming back to you gives her an excuse to do so.
If that’s the case, run. She will not be good for you in the long run.
6) To see whether or not you’ve moved on yet – The best thing you can do is keep moving forward!
If you’ve moved on, she will know as soon as she sees you again.
You will be enjoying your life and you won’t be interested in her.
She will want to see if you have moved on or not.
In order to give her a clear indication that you have moved on already, here are some tips:
- Stay focused on yourself.
- Continue living your life without her.
- Don’t contact her.
- Don’t try to make her jealous.
- Don’t try to make her regret what she did.
- Don’t give her false hope.
Trust me, you are better off without the drama of trying to win her over again.
7) She needs your help
She may have asked for your help with something.
Maybe she asked for advice on something or she may have needed you to do something for her. Maybe she came back to you for help.
When she comes back to you after you’ve moved on, there may be a reason why she needs your help.
She may be coming back because she needs your help with something.
She may need your advice on something or she may need you to do something for her.
She may need you to be a shoulder to cry on after a breakup or she may need your help with something else she’s dealing with in her life.
Whatever it is, don’t be the person who will drop everything for her just to get hurt again. After doing all that hard work, you don’t want to just let her walk all over you again, do you?
8) You’re her safety net
When a woman comes back and you’ve moved on, she might want a safety net.
She may want to be with you again because she doesn’t want to be alone and she feels safe with you.
A lot of women don’t want to be alone and feel like they need to be in a relationship with someone.
When she sees that you have moved on, she may try to come back so that she can have a safety net.
She may be coming back to you because you are her safety net. She may have been feeling lonely without you and now she wants to be with you again.
You see, you might be her plan B. The person she knows she can always come back to and manipulate into being with her again.
Does that sound loving to you?
No, because it’s not.
You are more than a plan B, and you deserve better than that.
Instead of letting her use you as a safety net, show her that you deserve someone who chooses you unconditionally.
9) She’s lonely
She may have broken up with you and now she’s lonely.
After the breakup, she may have been too hurt and too busy to think about dating again.
She may have been too busy trying to get over the breakup and trying to move on.
Now she’s ready to date again, but she’s concerned that there aren’t any good guys left.
She may go back to you because she knows you, trusts you, and feels comfortable with you.
She may be thinking that you are the only guy left for her because she’s too busy looking for someone new to notice the guys who are interested in her.
Now don’t get me wrong – sometimes it works and people who haven’t been dating for a while can have a healthy relationship again.
However, if she just uses you because she is lonely, she will just leave you again.
You deserve a woman who will choose you, not one who is lonely and can’t think clearly.
10) She doesn’t know what she wants yet
She may have no idea what she wants in life.
She may not know what she wants in a relationship.
You see, she may not know if she wants to date, be single, or be in a relationship with someone else.
She may not know if she wants to date you.
This woman might be coming back to you because she doesn’t know what she wants yet.
She may be coming back to you because she wants to take things slow.
She may be coming back to you because she wants to be friends again and get to know you better again.
Trust me, she may be confused and she may not know what she wants yet.
In that case, you are better off if you don’t go back to her.
11) She wants reassurance that you aren’t over her
You may have moved on too quickly and too easily for her.
Then you might have her wondering what’s wrong with her.
She may be coming back because she’s worried that you are over her and she doesn’t want to risk losing you.
She may be coming back because she wants to know that you really do still want her.
Some women don’t want to be the first to make a move because of their insecurities.
You could have been the one to end things and she may feel she needs to see if you are still interested in her before she can make that first move again.
Now: it’s kind of that same ego game again. She wants to know that you aren’t over her, which is why she is still texting you or wanting to see where you stand.
What should you do now?
These are 10 possible reasons she comes back when you’ve moved on.
You may be able to relate to one or more of these reasons and it could help you understand her actions better.
When you understand her reasons for coming back, it’s easier to accept her decision and move on with your life as well.
For me, I decided that it would be better to move on and forget about her.
Maybe it’s the same for you.