“Why do people not want to be around me” – 17 tips if you feel this is you

If you don’t feel like people want to hang out with you, it can be hard not to take it personally.

However, that is never caused by a single reason and can be resolved in many ways.

Here are 17 tips if you feel like no one wants to be your friend!

1) Being honest with yourself is the first step in changing this pattern

Are there things about yourself that might make people not want to hang out with you?

The more honest and self-aware you are, the easier it’ll be for people to like hanging around with you.

Do you even want to hang out with those people?

Sometimes people recognize our negative emotions about them and simply leave us alone even if we try to spend time with them.

Work on your insecurities, and you’ll find that people will want to spend more time with you.

2) Don’t take it personally

This is easier said than done, I am perfectly aware of that.

However, you need to make an effort to protect your emotions until this period is over.

If others don’t want to be around you, it doesn’t mean you’re terrible or even that they don’t like you.

It doesn’t mean they hate you or want to be alone.

Remember that your negative feelings and thoughts are your own business.

Everyone has them sometimes, so try not to take them personally.

We cannot control everything, so if the situation is like this, don’t let it get to you.

Have a good time and be happy until it fades away.

Thoughts can change quickly, so try not to be too hard on yourself.

For some, unwanted attention from others can make them feel anxious.

Anxious people often have a hard time making friends even if they want to.

Work on fighting your anxiety, give it a try and see if you could make some new social connections here.

3) Keep some time for yourself during the day

If you feel like people don’t want to hang out with you, it’s probably because there’s a lot of stuff in your life that’s weighing on you.

Make sure you give yourself some time alone so that when the rest of your day rolls around, there’ll be less stuff on your mind and more room for the other people in your life.

When you give yourself time to process everything, you will start feeling lighter, which will result in you becoming more open to other people.

If you keep denying yourself the right to rest and deal with the hard emotions, you will become more and more isolated as time goes by because it will be harder for people to communicate with you.

On the other hand, building a strong relationship with yourself can help you look at things from a completely different perspective and strengthen intimacy in your relationship.

I learned about this from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me to see through the lies we tell ourselves about love, and become truly empowered.

In his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy, Rudá explains the importance of focusing on ourselves, spending time with ourselves, and reflecting. 

Why is this important?

Because far too often we chase an idealized image of someone and build up expectations that are guaranteed to be let down.

That’s exactly why you think that people around you don’t need you. But spending time with yourself will help you empower yourself and understand the truth behind the relationships you have with others.

Check out the free video here.

4) Listen to others, no matter what they say

Not everyone shares your opinions, but that doesn’t mean that everyone’s right or wrong.

There’re always hundreds of different ideas floating around that you haven’t heard of yet.

Let people’s ideas be a part of your world.

Maybe you’ll learn something new; maybe you will help someone or understand human nature better.

The choice is yours – either you will stay the same as always, or you will let other people’s emotions and opinions change you for the better.

It is up to you.

Try not to compare yourself with others and let other people have the last word on your life.

Everyone has their own unique stories, there’re always things about them that make you happy or sad, but that doesn’t mean you should know their personal secrets.

Relate to the people you like in your life because they are there for a reason.

You may be different from them but shouldn’t resent them for it.

5) If you feel like you’d only ever be friends with people who are just like you, try to remember that being different is also cool

It’s really hard to accept that not everyone is interested in doing the same things as you, but it’ll probably make things easier if you understand that there’re other ways to live.

Maybe you do have to do different things, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing them wrong.

Look at yourself more objectively.

Maybe you are too judgmental to other people, and that is the reason they are rejecting you?

It is always difficult to look at yourself in the mirror and leave all the false beliefs behind.

In any case, try to be more open-minded and accept the things you don’t understand.

6) Don’t try too hard to be liked

pexels ekaterina bolovtsova 4672657 "Why do people not want to be around me" - 17 tips if you feel this is you

Everyone likes different things and will probably have different tastes in friends and activities.

Sometimes people can even like the same things and not show them.

Try to focus on being your own best friend, because it’ll probably be the best thing you can do.

You will stop being too harsh to yourself and probably start realizing how many qualities you actually have.

Trying too hard for everyone to like you will just seem desperate, and people don’t like it when others are desperate.

It is an instant way to push people away, even if you don’t mean to.

7) Practice some self-care every day

Self-care can feel really weird at first, but it helps so much!

If you’re feeling like people don’t want to hang out with you, practice self-care like getting a massage, going for a walk, or getting a pedicure.

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. In fact, it’s very good for you and is the best thing you can do. The secret is in the energy you will have after all these things.

You will feel better and radiate that energy on others around you.

It sounds simple, but it actually works and can help you turn your life around.

You have to be aware that your mental health plays an important role in your life.

If you need it, ask for help.

There are a number of sites available on the internet and other people who feel like you do.

You might even discover that some of your favorite fictional characters suffer from the same issues as you do.

It’ll be easier for you to relate to them and tell yourself that others went through this too.

Be kind to yourself and never give up – leave the world a better place than how it was left to you.

8) If you feel like no one wants to hang out with you, maybe you’re feeling kind of desperate

If you’ve been single for a while, it’s easy to get pretty desperate.

People are so much more interesting when they have someone to be with!

You don’t have to feel like this all the time if you’re not dating anyone, but if you do start feeling it, try hanging out with your own friends more and let them help take some of the pressure off.

Try various dating apps or sites or simply change your routine, so you can meet new people.

Try exercising in the park or go to a gym you were checking out for a while.

Working on your physique will bring you numerous benefits because not only will you look better, but you will also feel less tense.

Everything is connected, so you just might cause a series of changes in your life by making small ones.

9) Try taking some time for yourself once a week

This doesn’t have to be anything big or expensive!

It might just be 30 minutes in the morning or even twice a day if you like.

Just try something different and see if it’ll make things easier.

If you feel like no one wants to hang out with you, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut.

But change doesn’t have to be big!

It might just be a new hairstyle or getting a new shirt, something that will make you feel better about yourself and maybe even get other people noticing you more.

You can take it slow if you like and see what happens when you change something.

Try seeing yourself in a different light and getting rid of all the negative words in your head.

10) If you’re spending too much time on social media, you might feel like no one wants to hang out with you there either

Social media can be really stressful, and sometimes people can get caught up in it.

Try to take a break once a day and look at something that interests you for just 10 minutes.

You’ll feel so much better afterwards!

It is important to keep in mind that not everything we see on social media is actually true.

It is just a way people portray themselves, but it can do huge damage to our mental health, especially when we feel bad about our lives.

11) If you feel like no one wants to hang out with you, try to seclude yourself from your friends and family for a little while

It’s important to keep relationships with your family and friends, but every now and then, it’s good to just go somewhere else.

Go for a road trip and explore another city.

You will have plenty of things to talk about once you get together again.

Not to mention all the chances you will get to meet someone new.

Sometimes all we need is a change of scenery to feel better about ourselves and our lives.

12) If you feel like people don’t want to be your friend, try not to take other people’s actions personally

Everyone says things they regret sometimes, and everyone does things they wish they hadn’t done later on.

If you take other people’s actions very seriously, you can never forgive yourself for anything.

Try to see past the things that people say and just focus on how amazing you feel about who you are.

Figure what makes you special and go from there.

It will become easier over time once you understand that every person in this world has something that makes them stand out from the crowd.

Just stop thinking about things and concentrate on being present.

Give yourself permission to simply be and let everything gradually fade away.

You will feel so light afterward, and it’ll be easier for other people to talk with you again.

It’s very hard to miss out on an opportunity to relax sometimes.

13) Try talking to someone who reminds you of yourself

pexels jorge alvarez lecaros 2750174 1 "Why do people not want to be around me" - 17 tips if you feel this is you

We all have different qualities and personalities, but we’re still the same person at the end of the day.

Try talking with someone who reminds you of yourself because they’ll probably feel the same way sometimes too.

You will feel connected to the universe and feel better about yourself if you manage to help someone else.

14) Remember that you don’t have to be like everyone else to be a good person

People can sometimes be mean, but it doesn’t mean you have to be too!

You can still shine even if the world doesn’t believe in you yet.

Face your feelings and understand why you feel the way you do, because showing your emotions is one of the best ways to release stress and anxiety, but it can be very hard to do sometimes.

And it’s sometimes even easier not to show how you feel at all.

If you feel like no one wants to hang out with you, here is what could be going on.

You may feel overwhelmed by everything that has been going on in your life recently: your problems with a friend, learning a new skill, or managing your health issues.

Take some time to make your life better, and once you start feeling better, you will notice that your life starts getting better again.

You will also notice that you’re starting to feel not so isolated.

15) Try thinking about other people’s perspectives on things

Most of the time, people don’t think about what others are thinking at all!

They just do what they like.

Talk with other people and try to see how they feel instead of just doing what you’d like them to do.

It’ll probably make things easier when you’re not on your own all the time!

Working on your emotional intelligence will help you turn your life around and connect with others on a deeper level.

Learn that you don’t have to be a people pleaser to be a good person.

16) Try looking at things from a different perspective

In a nutshell, being too consumed with our standpoint can make you feel desperate.

When things appear to be the worst, it’s time to see them in a new light.

Even when you think it’s over, take a deep breath and look at how great life can actually look like every now and then.

Think of things as they should be instead of being blinded by what is actually happening right now.

Make a new routine, and it will help you feel fresh energy in your life.

Try to see the best in every situation.

Sometimes you’ll have good days, and your life will be a breeze, while other days, things will seem to be going bad.

It’s important not to let your emotions get the better of you.

The world looks bad right now because that’s how it works!

If you look at things in a good light, life suddenly becomes a lot better than it was before.

17) Learn how to say no

If you feel like no one wants to hang out with you, it might be because you’re saying yes to everything and everyone.

If people are asking for too much from you, try setting some limits or say ‘no’ for what they are asking.

No one is going to abandon or hate you just because of that!

You can always say yes and give someone a little more time if you really do want to go out with them.

Working on your boundaries will help you to stand your ground when you know the right time to say something.

Give yourself time and learn that your own company is not so bad after all.

Don’t forget to be kind and generous towards yourself as well. In the end, it all comes back to you, even if it feels like no one wants to hang out with you.

Final thoughts

No one likes to feel rejected and unwanted.

However, we all go through these stages at least once in a while. It is nothing to be ashamed of or stress yourself about.

It is just a cue for you to start working through your inner issues and focus on yourself for a while.

Perhaps the people around you are picking up your frustration and want to give you some time to work it out.

We all are made up of a million different things.

We all have different personalities, views in life, and interests, but similar people will always find their way to you.

Work on your hobbies and interests, so you can get in touch with lots of people you may like and who may share your enthusiasm.

I hope you enjoyed this list and that it helps you with dealing with the tough situations in your life!

Picture of Azra Jovicic

Azra Jovicic

I am Azra Jovicic and I love writing about psychology and wellness. I am just trying to make the sense of the world and share with others the things I’ve found out.

Enhance your experience of Ideapod and join Tribe, our community of free thinkers and seekers.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

Ideapod news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.