Why do I keep thinking about someone from my past? – 16 surprising reasons (and how to stop it)

Do you ever find that the past starts creeping back into your present?

I know the feeling.

Sometimes, we can’t shake off our thoughts about someone from our past.

Luckily, we’ve put together this article to help you understand the many reasons why people think about someone from their past and how to stop!

Let’s get started!

1) You’re lonely

Do you ever find yourself thinking about someone from your past when you’re lonely?

It’s normal to think about people that you used to be close with because they bring us comfort.

Let’s face it.

It’s hard to be alone when you’ve had someone special in your life.

Maybe you’re lonely because you don’t have anyone, and that person from the past has always been able to give you what you need.

Or maybe things ended badly, and it’s hard for you to see that person with someone else now.

Either way, being lonely is a part of life and thinking about them from your past helps remind you that other people are out there who need your love.

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and reach out for new connections in your life; it helps get the loneliness out of the way so that you can focus on what really matters to yourself.

2) You both have common interests and habits

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Why do I say this?

Think about it.

We tend to feel more connected to people who have similar personalities and interests.

Over time, this bond will fade away, and the two of you might go in different directions.

When you think about them, look at the differences between both of you; this will help bring more clarity to why you’re thinking about them at all.

You’ll realize that there are many things in common between both of you, and this will help you develop new habits and hobbies without having to worry about feeling like an outsider because they’re not interested in that kind of thing anymore.

3) You regret something that happened

Sometimes, we don’t realize what we’ve done until later on in life that we can’t remember at all.

When you think about someone from your past, it can be because you regret something that happened between the two of you.

It may have been a big mistake that made you upset, or maybe it’s something small and simple.

You might regret a situation where you had an argument, blew up at someone, or ignored someone.

It’s up to you whether you should go back and make things right with them.

But the good news is that you can apologize to them for your part in any difficult situation.

4) There are unresolved issues

Some relationships end badly and leave a lot of unresolved issues for both parties.

I know that feeling. This can be hard to deal with.

Maybe you said something mean that you wish you could take back, or maybe it was just the timing that didn’t work out, and neither of you knew how to say goodbye.

It’s okay to think about the past, but if it’s causing stress in your daily life, try to look at what is bothering you about that relationship.

Just ask yourself:  Have you considered getting to the root of the issue?

You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our own complicated inner relationship with ourselves – how can you fix the external without seeing the internal first?

I learned this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.

So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve your problem, start with yourself.

Check out the free video here.

Once you’re aware of all of the problems, you can use this new insight as motivation to finally fix any issues that are still between the two of you.

5) You miss them

Some people miss the past simply because it was a good time.

When you miss them, you’re missing the emotion that you felt with them.

So, if you miss someone from your past, revisit all of the fun times that you had with them.

It’s normal to think about them now and again.

There is no right or wrong time to think about the person you miss.

When you think about them, embrace it, don’t fight it.

That way, the memories can help you stay connected to what was once important in your life.

6) It makes you happy

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Why does this happen?

Because it’s normal to have happy ‘flashbacks’.

When faced with things that remind us of the past, we’ll often just get a warm feeling inside.

It’s okay to let those feelings come through, because they’re simply a part of your past.

Feelings from the past are important if you want to stay close with your loved ones.

We all have different ways of showing love and support; maybe you used to be a big teddy bear for your mom, or maybe you have an active social life.

Even if you don’t feel like it, at the end of the day, your past is what it is.

7) You want to reconnect with them

Sometimes people think about the past because they want to connect with those they miss.

They want to feel the same way they did when they were together.

But this is a dangerous game because it’s too easy to use things from the past for comfort instead of motivation.

If you want to feel connected, think about what you can share with them now that you’re not together.

Just ask yourself first.

Everything’s different now, so how can you adjust how you approach your life?

8) You miss them because they were an important part of your life.

It’s normal to miss the people who used to play an important role in your life.

Maybe you had a good relationship with them, and when things did end, you were upset for a while.

But then life got busy and you adapted without missing that person from your past.

Don’t worry!

It’s okay to think about them from time to time because it means that you remember what they meant to you.

This is a healthy reminder of how much they meant to you, since most relationships are over in the blink of an eye.

9) They break your trust

Let’s dig a little deeper.

Sometimes, the reason why we think about someone from our past has to do with trust.

Trusting people can be difficult, especially in a relationship where you spend a lot of time with them.

But sometimes, people break your trust and leave you with nothing but anger.

When you think about someone from your past that did something like that to you, it’s completely normal to have some anger or resentment come creeping up.

But if this is constantly happening, then it’s time to take action and put an end to those feelings once and for all.

10) They used to be your best friend

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Sometimes, the reason why we think about someone from our past is because they used to be our best friends.

Now that you’re older, and you’ve both moved on with your life, it’s safe to say that your relationship is over.

It’s no secret that people change over time; sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse.

But remember this: friends are always there for each other no matter what the situation is.

11) You were dependent on this person in the past

This one requires some thought because it is a little more complicated, but it’s something that all of us can understand.

For example, maybe you were dependent on someone from your past and if they broke up or just stopped talking to you; this would change your life in every way possible.

You’d miss them because they were an important part of it.

You’d feel hurt and disappointed like you never thought you could feel.

The days would always seem duller without them hanging around, and maybe even more sad than before because missing them was always an expected thing in their absence.

12) You haven’t confided in someone recently

This is one of the most common things that happens when you think about someone from your past.

Maybe you’re feeling lonely, and you haven’t told anyone else how you feel.

Or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed with life and don’t know who to talk to.

Is there someone in your life that you trust more than anyone else?

If so, make sure that they are someone who can listen to what’s going on in your head without judging your feelings.

13) They were always by your side in the past

It’s hard to get used to not having someone you were so close with in your life.

If that person meant a lot to you, then it means that they will always be in your heart for the rest of your life.

But if you start noticing that you’re thinking about them way too much, then it’s time to start moving forward without them, and this includes changing some of your daily habits!

14) You never get over them

This is the most complicated, but it’s true to life whenever you start feeling bitter about someone from your past.

It’s a tough thing, but sometimes it’s best to think about someone from your past and move on with your own life because they’re not in the picture anymore.

I know it’s hard for you to get over them. But you’re stronger than you think.

They don’t mean anything to you anymore and they aren’t going to come back; so if you’re waiting for them, then there is nothing that you can do that will change their mind or what they want now.

15) They’ve inspired you throughout the years

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When you think about someone from your past, it’s possible that they have been the biggest inspiration in your life.

Maybe you learned a lot from them or they were someone who always had your back no matter what.

This is one of the best reasons why we can’t stop thinking about someone from our past because we’re happy that they were a part of our life for such a long time and made everything more interesting like never before.

For example, you might love writing and have written books or short stories that are selling now. If so, then it’s time to thank those people who inspired you and helped make all of this happen.

16) Their memory will always be with you

This is an extremely emotional feeling that can come up whenever you think about someone from your past.

But don’t worry; it’s okay to have this feeling.

That’s how everyone remembers, and it’s not a bad thing!

In fact, it means that even though you’re now on your own, their memory will always live on in your heart forever and ever.

How to stop it?

So, what do you do if you can’t stop thinking about someone from your past?

The good news is, it’s not as hard as it seems.

Bear with me, because I’m going to show you how to stop thinking about someone from your past.

1)Try to hang out with new people

This one is a little bit easier said than done sometimes.

In fact, even though you want to make new friends, it can be pretty hard to do so.

The good news is that this is something you can do, and the sooner you start doing it, the better your life will be.

Hanging out with new people can help you get out of that rut.

You’ll be able to meet new people who will eventually get you out of this habit.

For example, going out dancing, seeing a movie, or even going on a picnic with friends.

You’ll find that if there are more people around you at the moment; this way, it’s easier to relax and not think about that person so much.

2) Live your life

Well, it’s true.

When you think about someone from your past too much, it’s possible that you aren’t living the best life you could be.

If this is the case, then it’s time to take action and start living like there is no tomorrow!

Once you do that, everything will start falling into place for you.

If you’re living your life to the fullest and not letting anything stop you for getting what you want; then chances are, you won’t think about that person from your past.

This is something that most people don’t do, so why not start doing it?

If you’re into sports; go play some volleyball or even kick a soccer ball with a friend.

Maybe it’s time to learn a new hobby like drawing or taking up painting.

It’s all there for us to explore.

Just remember this: if we live a boring life, that means we have time to think about someone who doesn’t exist anymore.

But if you live an exciting life; then you’ll start making new friends and meeting new people that will ultimately get you out of those feelings.

3) Try some meditation as well

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This one is very important!

Meditation has the ability to change your life, and it’s something that you can easily do by yourself.

I know it sounds simple enough, but people think that it’s complicated to do.

The truth is that breathing exercises and meditation are extremely helpful for clearing your head when you’re feeling a little bit more stressed out than usual.

At a time when I was dealing with a myriad of emotions and anxieties, I was introduced to an incredibly invigorating breathwork video, created by the shaman Rudá Iandê.

Now you might be wondering, how can breathwork transform your problem?

Well, through the breathwork sequences Rudá has created in this life-changing video, you’ll learn to breathe through your emotions, taking back control over your actions and reactions.

But most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of your mind and body.

And yes, it really is as simple as taking a breath.

So why am I so confident this will help you?

Well, Rudá isn’t just your average shaman. He’s spent years combining ancient shamanic healing traditions with breathwork techniques to create this unique flow.

This sequence is my go-to whenever I need to stop, reset, and reconnect with myself.

So if you’re ready to take a step towards reconnecting with yourself and injecting a breath of fresh air into your life, check out Rudá’s excellent breathwork flow.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) Try to spend some time with family members

This one is also true!

This is especially true if you’re dealing with some problems in life right now; then you should spend some time with your family members and relatives.

When you’re around people that you love, it’s easy to forget about that person from your past.

When you’re around people that love and care about you, it’s easier to forget about someone who doesn’t mean anything to you anymore.

That way, when there are so many people around you; then your mind will be occupied and not stuck thinking about someone from your past anymore.

5) Stop trying to figure out what happened in the past

Once you stop trying to figure out what happened in the past, then this will be a great change for you.


It’s because after you stop trying to figure out what happened; then this will put an end to all those negative thoughts that were bothering you in the past.

Once you stop thinking about the past, this will eventually become your future, and that makes it so much easier for you to move forward in life and be a happier person.

Try to let it go.

Instead, move on and you’ll be able to live your life better.

You have so many people in your life that we can’t even think of all of them!

So don’t wait for those people from your past to come back.

By the time they finally do come back, you’ll be dead and they can’t help you get over them because they’re not there anymore.

6) Stop thinking that they are still in your life

The truth is, they aren’t and never will be.

So try to stop thinking that they’re still in your life and hurting you.

If you have a good support system around you, then you’ll find that it’s easier to let go of this addiction.

If you let them go; then you’ll realize that they aren’t coming back, and then this will give you a lot more time to live and enjoy your life!

This will make it so much easier for you to live your life as if it was before all of this happened.

It will also make it easier for you to get over the person that you want to forget about.

It’s not easy, but if you do these six things, it will definitely be easier for you to get over this person that is in your life.

7) Focus on yourself

This is something that’s important to do.

When you focus on yourself, it means that you are trying to get a better understanding of your situation and problems, and you’re also trying to solve them without worrying about somebody else.

For example, if you’re worried whether it’s okay for you to be in that relationship or not; then just focus on yourself!

You know more than anybody else what’s best for you in this situation so stop worrying about what other people think.

8) Journaling is another option for you

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Journaling helps you get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper to help you concentrate on the positive things in your life.

Sometimes, writing down your thoughts is the best way to deal with all of those emotions swirling around in your head.

This is one of the best ways to get things off your chest and share your words with someone else.

Journaling will help you get through this stage, but it’s also a great way to reflect on what went wrong in the past, and move forward in the future.

Every time you feel like that person from your past is going to pop up, get one of your journals and start writing about them.

Don’t worry about what you write about; just do what you feel like doing.

That way, it’s easier for you to express your feelings without it being awkward or strange for most people.

9) Read a self-help book

The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine and she told me that she was struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with right now.

She was experiencing some negative emotions towards a person from her past.

And although it hurt her feelings, she decided to read a self-help book.

And it really made all the difference in the world.

It helped her to understand what she was feeling and how she should deal with it.

The best part about this whole situation is that this book had little to no feelings in it and didn’t make any excuses for people in general.

10) Talk to a therapist

Sometimes, you won’t be able to get over this person and forget about them on your own.

That’s where a therapist comes in.

A therapist is trained to listen and help you find the right answers that make it easier for you to get over this person.

If there’s someone that you can talk to about this, then go ahead and talk to them about it!

It will definitely make it easier for you!


In conclusion, I want you to know that there’s nothing that’s impossible for you.

If you’re struggling with the addiction to someone from your past, then it’s important for you to know that there are ways for you to overcome this.

But as I always say, it’s you.

It’s your choice and you’re responsible for your life.

No one else is responsible for it except you.

And we need to face the facts about someone from your past never again in our life again.

As I mentioned before, it all starts with your inner relationship.

you learn how to love yourself, giving and receiving love becomes a whole lot easier.

If you’re ready to take that journey, Check out the free video here.

I hope you take these recovery tips and use it to help you get over your addiction to the past and move on with your life!



Picture of Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

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