Why are women insecure? 10 big reasons

Do you ever have the question why women are insecure? 

This article takes a closer look at some of the most common causes of anxiety and insecurity in women. 

These are the 10 big reasons that come to my mind when I discuss with other ladies. 

Sometimes, realizing these things can help us feel better about ourselves and put our minds back into a healthy place.

1) We compare ourselves to other people

Women all over the world want to be beautiful, thin, and popular. 

I think this is just natural because everyone reacts the same way to beauty, thinness or popularity in that order of importance. 

It feels like everyone else has a better job than you, they have better skills than you, they are more attractive than you, they are more successful than you, they always seem to be happy while you are always sad… We all feel like this sometimes.

It’s not because we are jealous of other people, it’s more because we start thinking “if she is better than me, then there must be something wrong with me.” 

In my opinion, it is not bad to look at other women, but comparing ourselves to them is. 

We need to understand that each one of us has our own uniqueness inside and outside and there will always be someone who is more beautiful or thin than us. 

We need to focus on our own beauty and uniqueness instead of comparing ourselves to others.

2) We are too hard on ourselves and we always demand perfection

The biggest cause of insecurity for women is probably the fact that most women have very high expectations and standards when it comes down to their own body, beauty and appearance. 

Too many times, women are too hard on themselves because they see their own flaws while they compare themselves to other people. 

Yeah, me too. I am very hard on myself, I think I can do better and it takes a lot of courage for me to avoid thinking like that. 

I still see my flaws. But I admire myself for my courage. And after telling myself that I’m not that bad, I start to believe in myself. 

I am thankful for my body every day because it is so important for my life. 

It’s so easy to criticize yourself and put yourself down. 

But you should always have a lot of respect for your own body because it has given you so much love and joy over the years.

So, next time you compare yourself to someone else or you are being hard on yourself, remember that there is nothing wrong with your body, and you love it. 

3) The majority of thoughts are negative

In our world, we are frequently inundated with negative data, both in our actual lives and on social media. 

Everywhere, we are exposed to stories of women being physically and verbally attacked, as well as mistreated unjustly. 

Not only that, but we also often come upon disparaging comments about a certain issue related to women. 

For instance, when details of a certain beauty pageant contestant is posted, it’s not hard to detect that there are regularly negative remarks such as body shaming or insulting her language skills in the comments. 

There are numerous other illustrations of similar dilemmas, too many to list them all. 

As a consequence, women have become more and more cautious when expressing themselves, and apprehensive about any decisions they make. 

This anxiety is brought about by the fixation on negative news, and the worry of becoming a target of this type of verbal abuse.

4) Women are taught to be caregivers

We all know that women are taught to be caregivers in most societies around the world. 

I have noticed that most women feel pressure on them to be a great wife, daughter, sister, aunt and mother. 

In my opinion, it is enough for a woman to love and care for her family. Don’t doubt your own ability to be a caregiver and let that feelings take over you. 

The problem is that this can lead to chronic insecurity if we do not understand from the very beginning what it takes to be a great woman.

My mom sometimes tells me that women have to be soft but tough and this is what I admire about her. 

My mom is so sweet in her heart, but she has a hard layer of iron steel around her. 

I understand that women have to be sensitive, kind and caring sometimes, but these are not the only qualities a woman needs to be a powerful woman. 

As I already said, there are a lot of occasions when women become too hard on themselves and desire to have all the qualities of an admirable woman, forgetting that the most valuable thing is to be true to herself and accept who she is.

5) We think fitting in is more important than being ourselves

It is very sad that women fear being different and that they are ready to ‘fit in’, because they couldn’t care less about what other people think of them. 

I know many women like this, who completely prioritize other people’s feelings over everything else. 

We should never lose ourselves or our own dreams or simply; we should prioritize our dreams over trying to fit in everywhere. 

I always tell my friends and family that I am a freak and I will never be alone because I am who I am and this is good enough for me but I need to be myself every single day. 

Occasionally, being your true self can make a few unappreciative people displeased with you. 

However, it is better to know that somebody doesn’t like you as you are, rather than feeling uncertain when someone else is fond of you for a person you are not.

6) We are taught from an early age that boys are better than girls

I’ve noticed that a lot of women were taught this from an early age. 

This is really sad because girls are taught to compete with each other and boys are praised and rewarded for their achievements instead. 

When these girls grow up, they learn to compete in the real world with other women. 

Girls are instructed that they need to be extraordinary ladies to receive the notice of guys, due to the fact that guys usually have better characteristics than them. That is when it creates an insecure feeling in women.

This is unfair because women can be better than men in many ways, especially when it comes down to love and compassion for others.

I am glad that things are changing. I am glad that girls are taught that they are equal to boys and that girls can be anything they want to be. 

I really hope this will change even more in the future because it’s the right thing to do and it’s so important for women.

7) The pressure to get married and have babies

Another reason why women are insecure is because of the pressure of finding a partner and getting married. 

Many countries have this kind of pressure because their culture doesn’t allow any other way to live and people feel they need to get married in order to be part of society.

They think they will be judged by everyone, that no one will want them or love them if they don’t get married. 

The pressure from family, friends, and colleagues makes us feel even worse about ourselves, especially when we compare our own beauty to other women who are married – maybe we don’t seem as beautiful or not as perfect as before.

There is a lot of choice around us and it is not like we are a race to be trapped in marriage, but there are still many people who think that getting married and having children is what you should be doing as soon as possible. 

8) Women feel insecure about being a mom and a working woman

Women are rarely at the top in any business they work in. 

We are always stuck with being wives, mothers, and homemakers; we have to stay home and take care of the kids. 

I think any job should be considered as a career. 

If you believe in your own skills and abilities as a woman, then go for it! Don’t let anyone’s ideas about what you should or shouldn’t do hold you back. 

Working is important for us but it is not the only thing we need to do in our life. 

Being a mother is important too and it’s not just about how we are doing at the moment. 

It’s about the life we will live and how to enjoy it as much as possible. 

I believe that women need to be allowed to choose what they want, when they want and how they want. 

We need opportunities to be ourselves and express our unique selves whenever we can, whatever that looks like. 

9) People treat you differently because of your gender

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At times, you may experience people behaving strangely towards you as a result of your gender. 

For example, when a manager decides to choose a male colleague instead of you for a certain job, even though you may be more qualified, this could be due to gender bias. 

Moreover, women are always judged by their appearance, while men are not. 

I can’t say it enough, but this is the truth. 

In our society, women are under more pressure to look better and be accepted for who they are as women. 

There is no such thing as a perfect woman: neither thin nor thick; rich nor poor; black or white; too short or too tall. 

These occurrences can be very unsettling, making you feel uneasy in other scenarios.

How to make an insecure woman feel secure?

First of all, I want to say that if you are looking for ways to help an insecure woman feel secure, then you are reading the right article because making women feel secure is exactly what I am going to teach you.

I know many men who think they can do anything they want with a woman and that she will feel secure with them; it is not true, believe me. 

Women have a different nature than men and we often need something more than just love to feel safe in a relationship. 

1) Accept her as she is

Accept her for who she is – this is the most important thing. 

No one else can make you feel secure about yourself. 

This means never comparing her to others and only seeing what makes her happy. 

She needs to realize that she has her own kind of beauty and that she should be proud of it. 

2) Be her friend

Take her out every chance you get. Be there for her and listen to what she has to say. 

She will always feel better when she is talking about something that means a lot to her than anything else. 

When we are feeling insecure about ourselves, it is always better to talk to someone who understands and does not disregard us. 

3) Give her compliments

I know there are many insecure women and they need to be told how beautiful they are.

Recognize her good qualities and express your appreciation for the things she does that help to make your relationship strong. 

Additionally, women are usually very intuitive and will be able to tell if a compliment is insincere. 

I also know that there are many men who aren’t great at this, so here is a tip: 

Envision how wonderful you will feel when she praises you for your hard work and kindness while assisting her with her daily duties. 

Picture how delighted she will be and cherish you when she perceives your compliments and gratitude. 

Once you become accustomed to speaking kind words, you’ll express them without hesitation and it won’t feel forced.

4) Be patient with her

Be patient with her when she shows insecurity. 

We could be insecure for a number of reasons, like relationships, jobs, or about our appearance. 

If we want to make the insecure person feel better about herself, then it is important that we understand why she is insecure. 

I know it will take a while to fix things but it will help both of you if you stick through it. 

5) Make her feel special now and then

Every day I look in the mirror and see something special about myself and I try to pass that on to others. 

This way, every time I see someone else being happy about something I am doing or saying, then I feel more confident in myself. 

Last word

We are all different and we will always be different, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be positive and confident. 

Being a woman who struggles with being insecure is not the same as being a woman who no longer wants to be who she is. 

I was always a very happy person, believing in myself and my own beauty. I believed in myself for most of my life, so I think many others can do it too.

Being a woman is one of the greatest gifts we can give to any society. We are strong and should never forget it! 

“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?” 

Ultimately, I hope that this article will be beneficial for anyone who reads it: whether that person is a man searching for a way to help his insecure partner or an insecure person in need of a better understanding of female insecurity and how to manage it.

Nguyet Yen Tran

Nguyet Yen Tran

Yen is a freelance writer and a researcher specializing in mental health, self-awareness, and psychology. Her hobby is studying human behavior throughout their reaction upon situations. Be sure to check out her other posts on our blog.

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