Is it me or are there more fake people out there than ever before?
With all the changes in technology and the media that have taken place over the last 20 years, I guess it’s no wonder that authenticity sometimes takes a backseat.
I mean, just look at the sheer number of social media personas out there – are any of them real? Who are those people really and why the facades?
From a strong need to be accepted to hiding their emotions, this article will unravel the reasons why so many people today come across as fake.
Let’s dive right in:
1) Need for acceptance
Look, some people more than others feel the need to conform to societal norms and expectations in order to be accepted and ultimately – liked.
But sometimes conforming means suppressing who they truly are and acting the way they think people expect them to, even if it doesn’t align with their true thoughts or feelings.
The problem is, we can spot that something is off – we can tell that they’re faking.
I guess we can forgive some people for being “fake”.
Just think of all the famous people who can’t get away from the paparazzi or get any privacy. The public feels like they have a right to know everything about them and even intrude into their private lives.
Jeez! Imagine not being able to go to the store or have drinks with friends without everyone watching your every move.
It’s no wonder they feel the need to protect themselves from judgment, criticism, or even just prying eyes.
Their fake persona is for the public; it’s basically a defense mechanism.
Yet another reason some people act “fake” is because they lack self-confidence.
They’re so worried about what people will think of them and so scared of being rejected if they show their true selves.
And look, I get it. Maybe they were bullied in school or maybe their parents never gave them the love and validation they so desperately needed.
Whatever it is, it’s clear that they’ve never gotten over it and now they feel they need to pretend to be someone they’re not to have friends.
If only they knew that the way to real friendship and acceptance is by being “real”.
4) Personal gain
Don’t feel bad for all fakers out there, some do it for personal gain!
That’s right, they’re all smiles, saying what they think others want to hear in order to advance their careers, obtain social status, land a rich spouse, and basically get what they want.
And guess what – they’ll stop at nothing to manipulate others’ perceptions and fulfill their own objectives.
Don’t you just hate people like that?
5) Social media influence
I often wonder if the world would be a better place if social media had never been invented.
Look around you, look at all the people glued to their phones.
And what about you? How many hours a day do you spend on social media?
Social media is bound to mess with people’s heads, just think about it – they’ve created a platform where people can present an idealized version of themselves to the world!
So, if people can present themselves as perfect, why would they be real and imperfect?
In short, social media definitely plays a big part in the culture of fakeness.
6) Lack of self-awareness
Here’s an interesting one.
Turns out that some people aren’t really in touch with who they are. They don’t have a deep understanding of their own values, beliefs, or goals.
They don’t know who they are or what they want which is why they feel the need to adopt different personas or even mimic behaviors they observe in others without reflecting on their own authenticity.
Yup, you guessed it – fakeness.
7) Peer pressure
If you thought that peer pressure was something that happened in school, you’d be wrong.
While most of us learn to deal with peer pressure once we grow up and learn to embrace our individuality, some people never get over it.
Instead of saying, “This is who I am, take it or leave it.” They work hard to fit in and be like everyone else – and sadly that means becoming totally fake.
8) Cultural and societal influences
Don’t take it for granted that everyone is the same.
So, what may seem like normal behavior in your country could be considered rude in another, and what you perceive as fake behavior could be part of their culture where there’s a big emphasis on maintaining a certain image or adhering to specific social norms.
Things aren’t always black and white and it’s a good idea to consider cultural and societal influences before jumping to conclusions about someone.
9) Emotional self-protection
Here’s the thing:
Some people have been messed up by past trauma.
They’re not ready to be their authentic selves with just about anyone.
They have a hard time forming friendships and anyone who wants to be in a relationship with them is going to have to be very patient and understanding if they want to see the walls come down.
What that comes down to is: You can’t hurt a fake persona, can you?
10) Lack of assertiveness
Another reason certain people appear fake is that they lack self-confidence and assertiveness.
They find it really hard to express their thoughts, needs, and emotions openly.
What’s more, they hate conflict which is why they will resort to fake behavior – to keep the peace – even if it comes at the price of being authentic.
11) Need for control
People who have a strong need to be in control often resort to various manipulation tactics.
And what better way to manipulate someone than to trick them into thinking you’re someone you’re not?
Luckily, most of us can see right through such people, as for the rest, I hope they learn from experience.
12) Emotional masking
Why are some people so scared of their emotions?
It’s like they think that showing their vulnerability is something shameful.
I guess it might have something to do with how they were brought up…
Well, the result is that now they use fake behavior as a way to hide or mask their true emotions.
But that’s not all, they probably don’t even realize that they come off as cold and insincere to most people…
The bottom line
So, as you can see from this article, not everyone who is fake is an as**ole!
A lot of the time fake people just don’t have a firm grip on who they are and they’re scared of not fitting in and not being liked. They’re also afraid of getting hurt and being fake is a great mask to hide behind.
Of course, there are also some fake as**oles out there too who act the way they do to manipulate people and get what they want.
In both cases, you’ll probably be able to spot when someone is being fake because something will just feel off.
Finally, my advice to everyone is to be yourself. Don’t be scared of rejection. If someone doesn’t like you for you, they’re not worth being friends with. Got it?