13 surprising reasons you’re attracted to someone unattractive

Growing up, we are taught that beauty is the standard. We are told that attractive people should be role models, idolized, and pursued by others.

But in reality, our attractions don’t always fit this mold.

Sometimes people who aren’t conventionally attractive unknowingly draw out the most passionate feelings from the people who get to know them.

Keep reading! Here are the 13 surprising reasons why you’re attracted to someone unattractive.

1) They don’t let their looks define them

We live in a society that places so much importance on how we look.

Some people are born more beautiful than others, while some have to work hard to stay fit and gain an admirable appearance.

Unattractive people, however, needn’t give a damn about their looks.

They can go on being themselves without worrying about what other people think of them – this is something very attractive about them!

Imagine this:

The first time you meet someone who isn’t conventionally attractive, you might feel a bit insecure about this.

But this person doesn’t seem to care about how you perceive them.

They just focus on who they are and what they want in life, and that shows you that your attraction for them has nothing to do with their looks.

2) Their self-confidence is inspiring

According to studies conducted by the University of Arizona, unattractive people make better mentors than more attractive people.

This is because of the extreme confidence they exude in their lives, something that inspires others.

Instead of putting themselves down when they don’t fit into society’s standard of beauty, they believe in themselves and focus on their positive qualities.

This positivity radiates outwards to everyone around them, and makes them someone you’d love to be friends with!

So it all adds up to this:

When you find someone who is unattractive, you need to take a closer look.

Usually, they will be able to show you their positive qualities within themselves that are more important. You may not think they look attractive, but their confidence will make up for that!

3) They show great personal growth and evolution

When you look at someone who isn’t attractive and compare them to someone attractive, you will notice that they have probably grown and evolved in ways that the attractive person hasn’t.

As someone who was born unattractive, this person has had to work harder to develop their looks to get the attention of others.

Through perseverance and hard work, they have turned their unattractive looks into something spectacular!

All in all:

Because of the things they have gone through in life, your attraction for them is associated with positive feelings. You will grow more confident and fall more in love with them!

4) You can be yourself around them

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Another surprising reason why you’re attracted to someone unattractive is that they are the person who gets you.

They allow you to be yourself and don’t try to change who you are.

This means that they can accept your faults and weaknesses.

Want to know the best part?

Because they already understand everything about you, you have someone who is easy to live with and shares a close bond with.

You feel like you can trust them, and in turn, they feel the same way about you.

So give it a go:

Try to be yourself around them. If you’re worried about what they think of you, you’re not being yourself. They will appreciate you for who you really are, and the bond between the two of you will grow stronger!

5) Their sense of humor is off the charts

Maybe you’re not into someone who is physically attractive, but what about their sense of humor?

Let’s dig a little deeper:

Maybe you think they’re unattractive, but don’t let that stop you from being attracted to how they make you laugh.

According to research conducted by Claudia Repinski and Joel Cooper of The University of South Florida, the sense of humor is vital to the attraction process.

You want to be with someone who can make you laugh and lighten the mood when you’re having a bad day.

So why not give them a try? You never know – you might end up laughing more than ever before!

6) They see the good in you when others don’t

To your face, people may seem very critical and tough when they comment on how you look.

But underneath that tough exterior is a person who sees the good in everyone, which is extremely attractive.

People who can see the good in someone else are generally more trustworthy, loyal, and loving. They have a big heart and can see things that others can’t see.

When they believe in you, it shows you the possibilities of what you could be!

That’s the huge reason for your attraction to someone unattractive.

Because they believe in you, it shows you that there is a possibility for a connection between the two of you.

7) They have a unique outlook on life

You’re attracted to someone who has a unique outlook on life, such as an artist or musician.

They have certain talents – talents that are not like anyone else – and this makes them unusual individuals.

But this is what makes them attractive to you.

By bringing in a new perspective on life, they can help you see things that you’ve never seen before. This can be an eye-opening experience!

For example, imagine someone who is an artist. Whenever you look at what they paint, they’re always using their imagination to capture a feeling or emotions that are hard to describe with words.

Their work is beautiful and uses all of their senses.

So that makes sense of why you’re attracted to people who aren’t considered attractive.

8) You notice their genuine nature

When you look at someone who is unattractive, it’s easy to see their real intentions.

You can tell that they’re a genuine person and not looking to trick you into liking them all the time.

They’re upfront with you and don’t seem like they have any ulterior motives, which is probably why you’re attracted to them in the first place!

You find them pleasant to be around and enjoy spending time with them.

But keep in mind:

It’s impossible to be absolutely sure about someone, but it does make sense that you are attracted to them sometimes.

Just know that in the future, you might not feel this attraction to them and their personality could change.

9) They know how to play hard to get

This is another surprising reason why you’re attracted to someone unattractive.

According to Kevin Leman and Robert Cialdini in their book ‘Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion’, people want to be chosen.

When they want to be chosen, they will put on a hard-to-get or a teasing act.

This means that they are willing to put themselves out there and make themselves more attractive – in the hopes of being chosen by you.

And the fact that they’re not physically attractive makes it easier for them to do this because people just don’t notice them as much as someone who is considered attractive.

It also means that they have a lot of free time on their hands to do what they want when they want.

In a nutshell:

People naturally like to be chosen. Putting on the hard-to-get act is a way of being chosen.

And it draws you in.

10) Their style is unique and stylish

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Trust me, you can appreciate people who have a unique sense of style.

It’s easy to tell that they understand fashion and put thought into what they wear.

For example, someone who is wearing a brightly colored pair of jeans or a jacket that is decorated with buttons.

You know that they put a lot of thought into it and that it’s something they really like.

They do their own thing, have their own style, and are inventive.

Instead of following the crowd and looking just like everyone else, they stand out in a good way!

You appreciate them for who they are as well as what they wear. even though they’re not physically attractive.

11) Their personal power is attractive

People who shape their world can be very attractive because they have a strong sense of confidence and power.

They make things happen by using the tools that come with their natural talents.

They don’t need to go around trying to attract people because that is what makes them powerful in the first place!

The truth is, most of us never realize how much power and potential lies within us.

We become bogged down by continuous conditioning from society, the media, our education system and more.

The result?

The reality we create becomes detached from the reality that lives within our consciousness.

I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being.

A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.

He doesn’t paint a pretty picture or sprout toxic positivity like so many other gurus do.

Instead, he’s going to force you to look inwards and confront the demons within. It’s a powerful approach, but one that works.

So if you’re ready to take this first step and align your dreams with your reality, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique technique

Here’s a link to the free video again.

12) They have an inner vulnerability that makes you want to protect them

One of the main reasons why you’re attracted to someone unattractive is because they have this vulnerable, yet protective side.

They are sensitive and have feelings and emotions beyond most people’s imaginations.

Not only that, but they don’t have a strong sense of self-confidence which makes them feel like they can be hurt in life.

Because of this, you want to keep them safe from hate, bullying, and other harmful actions.

Let me show you how:

Imagine a woman who is not considered attractive.

She has a strong personality and colorful personality. She can be very outgoing and talkative, but she doesn’t have the confidence to do things on her own.

You see this vulnerability in her and want to protect her from getting hurt.

This is why you’re attracted to people who are unattractive as well as beautiful folk.

13) They have a surprising amount of freedom

When someone is not considered attractive, they are free from being picked on all the time.

It’s nice to know that they don’t have a lot of people not wanting to approach them because they don’t have to be the center of attention.

For example, you look at someone who is unattractive. They are simply going about their day without expecting anyone to notice them.

They don’t need guys to check them out, they don’t make a big deal out of going out and they don’t need compliments – they’re content just existing.

People are attracted to this because we like people who can take what they want.

We like people who aren’t dependent on other people. They can do their own thing and won’t get crushed by being too friendly or stuck up or needy.

Final thoughts

There are various reasons why you’re attracted to someone unattractive.

While it might be a little surprising, there are actually more than you think!

I’m guessing that you find yourself strangely drawn to people who aren’t considered good-looking, but you don’t know why? Well, now you do!

I hope this article helped give you some insight into why you are attracted to someone unattractive and a better understanding of your feelings.

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

Thảo Anh Nguyễn

It is the little daily things that make life worth living and I know how to put you in the right perspective. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles.

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