10 effective ways to deal with an introvert who ignores you

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Being with an introvert can come with its own challenges, but one of the most puzzling situations is when they ignore you.

Seriously, what do you do when an introvert ignores you?

Well, there are 10 effective ways to deal with that situation:

1) Be patient with them

The first step is to be patient with them.

It might just be that they need some more time to warm up to your company.

Extroverts are an outgoing bunch, and introverts take a little more time to get comfortable.

Give them some space and they will eventually come around.

But not just that, even if you’ve been friends for years, introverts can sometimes ignore you out of the blue.

In those cases, it’s time to be patient and to understand that it will take them some time to recharge.

You see, when you force them to talk to you or worse yet, hang out with you, you will only further drain your friend or partner, which is the last thing you want to be doing.

Instead, focus on being patient and just let them be in their own little bubble for a while.

2) Don’t take it personally

The first thing to remember is that they don’t want to be rude.

They’re not ignoring you because they don’t care about you, but it’s just how introverts are.

So, rule number one is don’t take it personally.

It’s not about you, it’s about them.

There’s no need to get upset or angry.

Simply by understanding and trying to see the situation from their perspective.

You might not understand what it’s like to be an introvert, but try to empathize with them and maybe even offer a little advice or support.

Just be patient and understanding, and they will eventually come around.

Now, if they are your partner or a close friend, it is okay to also have your own boundaries.

You can say: It scares me when you ignore me and makes me feel as though you don’t love me anymore.

Communicating openly allows you both to be on the same page and to know where each other stands.

If you’re feeling neglected or like you’re not being appreciated, it’s important to talk about it.

Even if your introverted friend or partner doesn’t want to talk about it, talking about how you’re feeling will help relieve some of the tension.

It will also give you some closure and understanding, which is always a good thing.

Just be honest with them and let them know how you’re feeling.

And most importantly…

Don’t take their silence as a sign that they don’t care about you.

It might just be that they’re taking some time to process what’s going on.

They might need some time to think things through before they want to open up to you.

So, don’t get upset or frustrated – just be patient and understanding and wait for them to come around.

3) Don’t force small talk

I can’t emphasize this enough: Don’t force small talk.

Introverts don’t like to engage in small talk, even if they are interested in a person they’ve met.

It’s not because introverts are unfriendly or rude, but because it takes up extra mental energy.

They’d rather save that for deeper conversations later on and avoid the awkwardness that can come with small talk.

So, if someone is ignoring you, the last thing you want to be doing is asking them “Hot weather today, eh?”

Trust me, it’s better to leave them their silence for a bit and then engage in deeper conversations than to force them into small talk.

In my own experience, introverts despise small talk and it will only make them want to avoid you even more!

4) Ask them if they are busy instead of jumping to conclusions

You may have been trying to get the attention of that introvert for a while now and you are overthinking. What do you do?

The first thing to do is ask them if they are busy or just need a moment to themselves.

It’s possible that the introvert is just really focused on what they’re doing and didn’t think about you.

They may also be somewhere where talking isn’t appropriate, like at work or class.

You won’t know unless you ask!

You see before you jump to conclusions and get worked up over them ignoring you, simply ask if they are busy right now!

That will save you the mental energy of worrying and will clear things up in a short amount of time.

More often than not, when an introvert ignores you nothing is actually wrong, they are simply busy.

Don’t freak out and just do the mature thing: ask them outright!

5) Give them time and space to recharge

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If your introverted friend is ignoring you, it’s likely because they’re tired.

Introverts need a lot of downtime to recharge and be alone every once in a while.

You see, introverts are drained by being around people for long periods of time.

They don’t like feeling drained because it makes them feel unsafe and unhappy, so giving them space is a great way to make sure they’re still happy and satisfied with their life.

I know, as an extrovert it can be hard to understand, and even a little hurtful to realize that your friend or partner needs time to recharge from hanging out and prefers to spend time alone.

But don’t take this personally, even if this person loves you more than anyone else on the planet and adores hanging out with you, they will still need that time to recharge.

Now: if you give them that time and space without judgment and don’t make them feel like a freak, they will love you even more, and you will have saved yourself a lot of trouble in the long run.

Again, there is nothing wrong with talking about your feelings and asking them for reassurance when their silence makes you feel insecure, but don’t make them feel bad for needing time to themselves.

6) Ask them if something is bothering them

If an introvert is ignoring you, it’s possible that something is bothering them. I know, that’s probably the scenario you were trying to avoid.

However, you could wait around and worry about what is happening, or you simply ask them if there’s anything going on.

Chances are they’ll be more willing to talk about it if you’re the first to bring up the subject.

Introverts are shy and often they won’t like to talk about the things that are bothering them and simply shut down.

When you ask them directly, they get a chance to speak out and let you know what is going on.

You see, it’s always better to talk things out rather than jumping to conclusions and overthinking a situation in your head.

That only leads to more stress and confusion for both of you.

7) If you’ve hurt them, apologize

If you’ve done something to hurt or upset them, apologize.

Introverts are sensitive to emotional pain and can hold on to it for a long time.

So, if you know for a fact that they are ignoring you because you’ve hurt them, it’s time for you to own up to your mistakes.

When you apologize to them, make sure that you do it in a sincere way and understand that they may not want to talk to you right now.

But, if you are genuinely sorry, eventually, they will forgive you and you can start rebuilding your relationship.

You see, introverts are great at reading people, so unless you are genuinely sorry, don’t apologize to them or you’ll make it worse.

The thing is, when you are truly sorry, an introvert will feel it and will forgive you.

So, don’t be afraid to apologize for your wrongdoings!

8) Don’t accuse them of anything, that can push them further away

Some introverts don’t enjoy being around people because they need more time for themselves to recharge.

And when someone accuses them of “ignoring” them, that can make the situation worse and push the person even further away from you.

The best way to deal with this situation is by understanding them better and just giving them space as they get used to you.

If you truly want to know why they aren’t getting back to you, don’t text them “Ugh, why are you ignoring me??”

Think about it: maybe they aren’t feeling the best right now and need time to recharge.

This kind of text will only make matters worse, so try to be understanding and patient.

When you want to ask what is going on, say something like: “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while, is everything okay? I miss you!”

This will let them know that you aren’t mad, only concerned.

9) Take the initiative and plan some one-on-one time

If you want to be with an introvert, take the initiative and plan some one-on-one time.

This could include inviting them for coffee or lunch or asking for their number so you can text them.

You see, when an introvert like someone, they are often too shy to take the initiative, so they will not say or do anything.

If you want to talk to them, it’s often up to you to take the initiative and plan a hangout or date.

Now: don’t force them into it, of course, but tell them that you’d love to plan a date with them if they’re interested.

Then, set up the date and tell them, no hard feelings, let me know if you’d be down to hang out that day!

And if they say no, don’t make them feel bad!

10) Check in on them and stay authentic

The most important thing you should do is to check in with them.

If they’re working on something, let them know that you need a few moments of their time.

If they’re not doing anything, ask what’s up and see if there’s anything you can do for them.

It might seem like an introvert is ignoring you because they don’t want to talk, but really they might just be in the middle of some work or concentrating on something else.

Checking in on them and genuinely asking about how they are doing is a great way to stop them from ignoring you.

You see, introverts love it when people check in, even if they aren’t always the first ones reaching out.

When you are authentic and care about their well-being, then they will appreciate it!

It’s not you

The biggest takeaway from this article should be that most of the time, it’s not you.

Being an introvert is difficult sometimes and it can leave other people feeling confused.

If you are being ignored, there is a big chance that it has nothing to do with you or how that person feels about you.

On the contrary, maybe they finally feel safe enough with you to recharge without feeling guilty!

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

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