What to do when your ex-girlfriend is dating someone new: 10 no bullsh*t steps to getting her back

You’re not happy about her dating someone else, and you want to know what you can do about it, right?

I know what you’re thinking and how tough this can be for you. It’s hard to see your ex-girlfriend with someone else and not feel that you’ve lost her forever.

But don’t worry, you only have one thing to do to get her back – take action and start making your plan.

But how?

To get the answers that you need, check out these 10 ideas and tips on how to get your girlfriend back fast. 

1) Show you understand why she broke up with you

You need to understand why she broke up with you in the first place. It’s important that you get her side of things and that you do plenty of listening before talking.

What do I mean? 

It’s important for you to understand why she broke up with you and what she was feeling at the time. It’s best that you not get mad at her for ending the relationship, so try to put yourself in her shoes.

If you haven’t already, get a pen and paper and write down her reasons why she dumped you or why the relationship ended.

Did she say it was because you were arguing too much? Or because she had lost respect for you

Maybe she didn’t like how you handled relationship rumors and how you were on social media sites when you were dating. 

Maybe your attitude towards her friends hurt her feelings, or maybe there was something else that made her break things off.

Whatever reason she had, try to figure out what it was and why it made her feel so bad about the breakup. 

It will help bring closure in this situation and make sure your communication with her is not closed-minded.

2) Fix the mistakes you’ve made and show you’ve changed

Make sure you know what you’ve done wrong and what you need to do to make things right with her. This will help build trust between the two of you.

When there’s trust, then it’s easier for her to open up and feel comfortable around you enough to want to get back together with you and be there for your problems.

But to show that you’ve changed, don’t ask her out right away and leave her wondering if she’s going to lose out on a guy that’s a great catch when she finally decides on going out with him. 

Give her time, play the waiting game and show that your intentions have been real from the beginning.

Even though you want her back, you also need to make sure that you’re trying to improve yourself as a person and you’re working on being a more mature, responsible adult.

For example, if you were a flirt and she thought you had done some inappropriate things with other girls, then you need to work on being more faithful.

If you didn’t have enough time for her and when she asked you to spend some time with her, you made other plans, then it’s time for you to learn how to prioritize the girl that is important in your life.

I know this can be tough, but if she could see what was wrong or what was negative about the relationship, then you should be able to see it as well.

You’re probably not going to change overnight, so just take some time and put together a plan of action on how you can become a better boyfriend and a better person overall.

3) Set a timeline and ramp up your contact with her

Set a timeline for when you want to get her back and ramp up the communication. If you’re not talking to her, then it’s going to be hard to get her back as some things need time to work in your favor.

But if you’re just emailing or texting her, she could feel neglected and remember why she never wanted to be with you in the first place.

When my guy friend wants to know how to get a girl back, I usually tell him to take things slow. See when she’s free and what her time schedule is and then ask her for a date.

You don’t just want to ask her on a date, but you need to talk about what she’s doing these days, how she’s feeling and find out if this new guy in her life is “The One.”

If it’s not, then try asking more often and make sure you have plenty of time for your ex-girlfriend – you don’t want her to feel like you’re rushing her back into being your girlfriend.

And you know what? 

Take it slow though, because she may not be ready for a relationship and she could still have some negative emotions towards you. 

I recommend a 2-3 month long process of little by little moving in her direction.

If she still isn’t ready to be with you again, then it’s probably not going to happen and you need to try another plan.

4) Change your looks for the better

Make sure you change your appearance and style. 

I don’t know if this is a no-brainer, but you need to put some effort in and make yourself more attractive to her.

It’s completely understandable that your ex wants to be with someone good-looking, so it will be important for you to get yourself into shape, take care of your hair or whatever else it is that requires focus. 

If your ex-girlfriend is dating someone else and you’ve met him, then it’s clear she has some interest in him. 

So one way of getting her back is by working on your looks. 

Try to fix any potential flaws that show up when you look in the mirror (i.e., pimple on your nose, messy hair, clothes that are dirty or ripped) and take a shower often to keep you smelling good enough to not offend anyone.

You don’t want her making a decision based on the fact that she doesn’t want to look at or talk about you because there’s no spark between the two of you anymore.

5) Show her the benefits of being with you

If you want your ex-girlfriend back, it’s going to take more than being a good-looking guy. 

You need to show her that she’ll be better off with you in her life. 

If you’re not the best catch she’s ever had then there needs to be some other reason why she should be back with you.

For one, she needs to trust that you have changed and that the new and improved version of yourself can make her happy in ways that others can’t.

Now this doesn’t mean that if your ex-girlfriend is seeing another guy, then this other guy has to be bad for her in order for her to want to get back together with you.

It all depends on the reason you broke up, but if she thinks that the new guy is better because he’s not as lazy or he’s got money or he has his life more together than you do, then it’s going to be hard to get her back.

Instead, you want to show her that you can make her happy in ways she never thought possible before. 

And if you want to win her over and prove yourself worthy of being with her again, don’t be afraid to work hard for it. 

Try picking up some overtime at work or maybe even start a new job so that she sees you have a lot of drive for providing for your family and making them happy.

6) Don’t forget to remind her of all the wonderful moments you shared together

Make sure you don’t forget to remind her of all the wonderful moments you shared when you were dating.

You want to take the time to reminisce and have fun with her about your time together so that she can see how great things were and feel like things could be like that again with you.

Even if it’s just a simple conversation or text message, it will help build attraction and get her thinking about what could or should have been going on inside your relationship.

I know this can be difficult and awkward, but you just have to put yourself out there and remind her how great things were.

You should find ways to do it in a way that makes it seem like you never stopped thinking about her in a romantic way. 

I know it’s not easy and you can lose the steam for the plan if it doesn’t seem to be working, but I think perseverance will pay off and she will believe in your plan and she’ll realize that you really want her back. 

7) Help her understand why it didn’t work out

pexels alena darmel 6642911 What to do when your ex-girlfriend is dating someone new: 10 no bullsh*t steps to getting her back

When I say “help her understand”, I simply mean don’t try talking about the breakup.

If you want her back, then you need to do it in a way that you are both comfortable with because someone else has already tried convincing her why you aren’t good enough for her. 

You could have said or done so many mean things to get through to your ex-girlfriend and she may have even doubted herself if she should give it a second chance or not. 

So instead of trying to convince her why the breakup was a mistake, just make sure that you show yourself and let her see how much things can be different.

Start by telling her why things didn’t work out and writing down your reasons. 

If you have any concerns, write them down as you can be more believable being more specific with your answers. 

For example, maybe she’s with someone else because she’s looking for someone to help her become financially stable or so that she can meet different people. 

Or maybe she wasn’t happy about her social life or lack of energy when things were going on in the relationship. And now she just wants to get back on track. 

8) Let her know you’re still around

If you have already tried contacting your ex-girlfriend after some time of not being in contact with her and she hasn’t responded, then I would suggest staying away for a while to give her a chance to miss you.

Maybe even show up at places she frequents just so that people see you around that area and remind her that you’re still around.

If it’s been more than a week since your last contact with her and you still haven’t heard from her then just take the initiative and contact her again. 

Just send an email or text message reminding them of how good you two were together and find out if they’re interested in getting back together or not.

Show her that you have been thinking about her and care about what she chose. 

You don’t have to know how she feels or how things are with the new guy. 

If she has a lot of interest in this other guy, then your only choice is to let her go so that she can figure out if he’s right for her or not. 

You shouldn’t try to force anything because if she doesn’t like the guy or has no interest in him then it should be relatively easy for you guys to get back together.

9) Re-establish trust by being trustworthy

If you want her to get back together with you, then your plan is only going to work if she trusts you again.

You can only demonstrate trust by being trustworthy.

Try being honest with her and letting her know what you’re feeling or that you’re sorry for your actions. 

For example, maybe you lied about something or maybe she’s still upset about how the breakup went down. 

You should apologize for it and tell her that things will be different this time around because you made a mistake and never want to do it again. 

If you really want your ex back, then don’t just let her know how sorry you are but make sure that you really mean it. 

When my friend was trying to get his girlfriend back, he kept on saying how sorry he was and how much he regrets it, but the problem is that he never really changed. 

If you don’t take responsibility for your actions and never change your behavior then you will be right back where you started. 

What she really wants is a man who cares about her and will work hard so that she can feel loved and protected every single day.

10) Final: commit yourself to make her happy and showering her with love

If you want your ex-girlfriend back, then you need to make a commitment to make her happy in every way that she wants.

Choose a time and place for making love and show her you are willing to do anything for her no matter how ridiculous or stupid it is. 

Tell her how much she means to you and show her through your actions that she won’t be going wrong by giving you another chance. 

You should try your best every single day and show her how much fun and how good things can be when the two of you are together. 

You have to make sure that your relationship isn’t just about winning a competition or proving yourself or trying to prove others wrong. 

I know it’s hard, but you need to push yourself further so that she will not doubt your intentions and feel the love that you have for her. 

It’s really important to show concern by trying to make her happy every day because if she feels that your relationship is going well, then it will be easier for her to answer yes when asked, “Do you want your ex back?”

Be persistent and don’t give up! 

You have a big list of things that you should do, but this list won’t help you if you don’t try. 

It’s like going to the gym without ever trying it. You will never know how good the workout could be for your body. 

This is exactly what’s going to happen when you just sit and think about how she doesn’t understand you, why she let you go and it seems like she’s not interested in you anymore because of all the efforts that haven’t been made so far. 

The most important part of your plan is to be persistent and committed to making things work. 

You need to make her realize that you are willing to do anything for her and make sure that she knows how much you care about her. 

Contact a friend or someone if you need help with this step.

When you’re ready, click on the button below. We will send you the key to “win your ex back to your life” step by step. I learned about this from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.

In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.

So if you really want your girlfriend back and think you would deserve her affection again then this is a simple step-by-step plan that shows how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast without going through the pain of ending things or having a messy breakup.

If you’re thinking, “I tried everything already,” then don’t worry he is going to give you some more ideas that are simple yet effective at getting her in your arms again.


This is not the end of the road for you. 

If you follow all of these guidelines honestly, then you have a high chance that your ex-girlfriend will take pity on you and give you another chance.

Just keep in mind that it may take a while before her feelings start to change and if they do, then don’t give up until she gives you an answer or signs that she wants to get back together. 

You need to be patient and persistent when trying to get back together with your ex because sometimes the despair goes away for a moment but comes back later when whoever she is dating does something wrong or breaks up with her.

I hope that this guide will help you to get your ex-girlfriend back without completely ruining the relationship this time.

Don’t stay alone, go for the right ways to get your ex-girlfriend back.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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