What makes a woman intriguing to a man? These 13 things

It can be hard to know what exactly goes through a man’s mind, especially when you have developed feelings for him.

He might not even notice you even though the two of you work on the same floor because he’s so caught up in his world.

What’s worse is when he walks past you to approach another girl he’s interested in.

It can be a painful and terrible feeling to experience this.

Look, my name is Tina Fey, and I’ve been there before. I rarely captured the guys’ attention.

Even when I was dating a guy, it never seemed to last because they eventually found a new girl who was more interesting.

And now I understand why. I’ve always been the “nerdy” and introverted type of girl.

But ten years ago, I decided to change that. I wanted to have options, so I researched male psychology and found out that men aren’t as complex as we sometimes make it seem. (Surprise surprise!)

The truth is:

There are certain characteristics that you can adopt to catch his attention.

That’s what I did. I became that fascinating girl a man wants to date.

And no, I didn’t have to change my personality. I just needed to change my attitude in subtle ways.

Now I’m married to the man of my dreams, and I’m expecting.

So today, I’m here to show you how you can do the same!…

It’s not entirely about physical appearance, as personality traits are just as likely to make him notice you.

Here are some of the most common traits I’ve learned over the last 10 years that make a woman intriguing and attractive to a man:

1) Maintain Eye Contact

Guys love women who pay close attention to them when they speak. This includes maintaining intimate eye contact during a conversation.

If you can hold his gaze and focus on him by looking into his eyes, he will feel a strong connection with your soul.

Maintaining sound eye contact will also release oxytocin in his brain, which are emotional triggers for him to develop an interest in you.

If you’re not the confident type and you struggle to maintain eye contact with men, then I’m sorry to say that you need to learn just to push through.

That’s what I had to do. I never had much confidence, but I knew my life would never change unless I did something about it.

I made myself practice eye contact every day for a few months, and now it’s one of my strengths.

It might feel very uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re not used to it, but if you want your man to notice you more, give it a try.

The truth is this:

A high-value woman exudes confidence and maintains strong eye contact.

Give this a try the next time you’re conversing with a guy; you’ll discover that your chats get much more meaningful, making his interaction with you memorable for him.

2) Actively Listens When He Speaks

A guy is likelier to take an interest in a girl who actively listens to him when he speaks.

Paying attention when he speaks and actively contributing to the conversation will show him that you care about what he thinks.

He will feel respected and appreciated by you if you give him your full attention when he’s speaking.

Most men aren’t accustomed to women intensely listening to them when they converse.

He’ll treat you the same way if he thinks you’re focusing solely on him.

You will be able to communicate with him deeply emotionally and quickly establish a strong bond with him.

This is actually what I learned from a psychology concept called the hero instinct. Basically, men have a biological drive to feel respected and admired by the woman they like.

One easy way of doing this is by listening to what he has to say and being fascinated by it. It will trigger his hero instinct and make him feel important.

4) Have Attractive Body Language That Is Positive

Having positive and attractive body language is a great way to grab a guy’s attention.

The way you carry yourself, the way you present yourself, your facial expressions in the middle of a conversation, and how you stand when he approaches you’re all important factors that play a role in getting a guy to notice you.

In fact, most interactions that leave a deep-rooted impression on a guy’s mind are non-verbal.

Good body language can be the difference between him falling for you head over heels or being turned off by your disinterest.

A confident posture goes miles farther in getting a man’s attention than attractive physical features.

In fact, for me, this is probably the biggest attraction of all. Once I learned proper posture and felt confident enough to walk like a model down the street, every guy looked at me. And honestly, my physical looks are probably only a 6.

The bottom line is this:

If you can stand tall, roll your shoulders back, and walk past him with open body language, he will want to know you better because you have caught his eye.

5) Speak Slowly, Softly, and Clearly

It’s easy to get nervous or flustered around a guy you like and speak way too quickly, making it nearly impossible for him to follow your ramblings.

He may lose interest in you because he feels like he can’t get a word in edgewise or may feel overwhelmed by the information you’re dumping on him.

I used to be like this. I would talk fast and and be totally hyper. It’s not attractive at all.

Instead, if you speak slowly, in a gentle tone, and enunciate your thoughts, you can captivate him.

His attention will be entirely on you and the conversation because he’s able to follow your train of thought.

Speaking clearly with confidence will give him the impression that you’re a highly-desired woman who’s not afraid to speak her mind, sure to spark his curiosity.

6) Be a Woman of Class

Maintaining a classy appearance is a great way to steal a guy’s attention.

While skimpy dresses and short skirts might catch his attention for a few seconds, a real man will be drawn toward women who hold themselves in high regard.

He will respect your ability to put your best foot forward and will leave a memorable impression on his mind.

By actively choosing to dress fashionably without feeling pressured to follow fads and trends, you can project yourself as a high-value woman who won’t compromise on her boundaries for attention.

You get to show off your beauty, elegance, personality, and charm as a classy lady without elaborately attempting to gain his attention.

This is a great way to make him fall for your best qualities and leave him thinking about you for a long time.

7) Be Mysterious and Reveal Very Little About Herself

Another great way to raise a man’s interest in you is by maintaining a level of mystery.

While you can be open in conversations, it’s equally important not to show your entire hand all at once.

I remember I used to tell a guy everything about my life when I was on a date, but after a few dates, I had nothing more to say. This is probably why most guys eventually lost interest in me.

Then I learned the considered art of keeping your cards close to your chest, and I have to say, it works like a charm.

By choosing to be secretive about specific details of your life, you can captivate and capture his attention by sparking his curiosity.

The best way to go about this is to tell him a few things but intentionally leave out certain blanks to encourage him to ask you more questions.

He may even start fantasizing about you if you can reel him in without revealing too much about yourself.

8) Play Hard to Get

Forget what other people say. Playing hard to get works!

The truth is this:

Part of the dating and courting routine is to get him to chase after you.

Playing hard to get is a classic trick that will motivate most guys to double down on pursuing you.

If you accept his advances at his first attempt to make a move on you, you may come off as desperate, or he might get bored.

You can make yourself intriguing and stay on his mind rent-free by pulling away just a little bit to make him go the extra mile to chase you.

This entails delaying your responses to his texts for a few additional hours, having him earn your attention before paying him any attention, and not being scared to refuse him.

It might not be obvious at first glance, but you’ll soon realize that the more he pursues you, the more fixated he becomes on you.

9) Have Varied Interests and Multiple Friend Groups

If you’re an introvert like me, you might find this difficult, but trust me, expanding you friends group will do you wonders.

You’ll not only become a more interesting person, but you’ll also open yourself to meeting more guys.

You’re sure to capture his attention by having varied interests and more than a singular group of close friends.

A tight-knit circle of friends can be great, but having multiple friend groups allows you to have freedom in your social life.

This will enable you to be outgoing and experience various activities that may lead to more guys falling for you.

It will also make your life more attractive to a guy who may have developed feelings for you as it will give him the impression that you’re sought after and liked by many people.

10) Enjoy Your Own Company

Guys are naturally drawn to women who are emotionally available and happy with their life.

You can be assured that he will gravitate towards you if you can be a woman who doesn’t have to depend on anybody and can enjoy her own company.

Guys will perceive you as a high-value, well-liked, and adored woman when they witness you having fun and enjoying yourself.

They’ll get interested in you right away and want to learn more.

It’s also a great way to show that you’re not seeking a person’s company which will make them value any time you invest in them even more.

11) Be Confident, Genuine and Authentic

Confidence is by far one of the most intriguing and attractive qualities of a high-value woman.

It’s essential to let him see that you’re a woman of strong character who won’t let people push her around and is confident in her own capabilities.

It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean being arrogant or thinking that you’re too good for him.

Instead, it means being elegant, self-assured, and not seeking approval from the people around you.

Being authentic and genuine in your interactions is also essential to keep him interested in you.

Finding a woman that is unique in her personality and viewpoints isn’t only refreshing, but also quite alluring.

A man might get incredibly curious and intrigued by a woman if she has her own sense of self, beauty, style, ideas, ambitions, and opinions.

12) Be Witty and Have a Good Sense of Humor

It says a lot about a lady to have a good sense of humor. In any relationship, the capacity to laugh together is crucial.

He will appreciate a woman who can understand and genuinely laugh at jokes that are well thought out.

Men who admire intelligence and a sense of humor are drawn to women who can provide relevant, biting humor.

The ability to make hilarious jokes which aren’t crass just for shock value is also a valuable quality of a high-value woman who wants to be intriguing.

A lady who uses wit to express her comic sensibility demonstrates both her intelligence and her love of laughter, which, let’s add, is both a connecting and a healing tool in any relationship.

13) Don’t Be a Social Media Girl

A woman becomes intriguing and attractive to a guy if she doesn’t have an active social media profile.

I know, it sounds strange as everyone is on social media, but contrary to popular belief, you can pique his interest by posting less on social media.

This is because he will feel he needs to work harder than other guys to learn about you.

He might even feel inclined to approach you and ask you out to understand you better.

Also, a man might lose interest in you after scrolling through unlimited hot posts because he might not feel like you’re unique.

If you post a good snap of yourself after a couple of weeks of getting to know him, you’ll stand out from the other girls on his feed and make him want to chase you.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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