It’s hard to deal with narcissists. Sometimes the best reaction is to ignore them completely and keep them from taking any more of our time and energy.
They certainly enough any attention you give them. They live for drama.
But why let them have all the fun?
If you want to have a little revenge on a narcissist and make them panic, here are 10 ways to do just that. Let’s jump right in.
1) Stop giving them the ‘attention’ they want
Narcissists feed off of attention. Any kind. Whether it’s good or bad, it doesn’t matter to them.
As long as they know someone is paying attention to them, they don’t care what that attention includes.
So, if you want to stop a narcissist from having the reaction they want from you, stop paying attention to their drama completely.
If they contact you and demand that you reply to something that happened, ignore them completely.
This will really make them sweat.
2) Be completely calm
Nothing infuriates a narcissist more than someone who stays calm in a situation that would normally cause them to panic.
They enjoy watching others swim in times of crisis because that’s usually when they are their strongest.
Of course, you are going to be upset and hurt when they try to upset you and ruin your life, but don’t let them see that.
If you’re going to stop the drama, act completely calm and keep your emotions hidden.
That will drive them up the wall because they can’t get a rise out of you. And they enjoy that sensation more than anything else.
3) Act out of character
If you want to play with a narcissist and make them feel bad, try doing something unexpected.
Narcissists crave drama. Yet, sometimes you can turn the tables on them and put them in the spotlight and make them cringe in the chaos.
They might think that they have you figured out, but you can make them guess again.
If your narcissist is always trying to make you do something or always trying to control you, then turn and control them.
Try doing everything that you know they hate or would never expect from you. That will throw them for a loop and probably make them very annoyed with themselves for not seeing it coming.
4) Take control of the conversation
If you want to stop a narcissist from freaking out, take control of the conversation. Don’t let them dominate it.
If they’re always trying to control your life and tell you what to do and when they tell them what you want to do and when.
You can offer them advice, point out their shortcomings and flaws, or simply don’t give them a chance to speak.
It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to attack someone who tries to regain some control over their life. So, don’t be afraid. Take charge of the conversation and give them a taste of their own medicine.
But this also leads to an important question:
If you’re dealing with feeling overwhelmed and overpowered by someone in your life, have you considered getting to the root of the issue?
Do you feel in control of your own life?
You see, most of our shortcomings in communication and our relationships stem from our complicated inner relationship with ourselves.
I was reminded of this important lesson from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his incredible free video on Love and Intimacy.
So, if you want to improve the relationships you have with others and solve the feeling of being a victim and feeling low in confidence, check out the free video here.
You’ll find practical solutions and much more in Rudá’s powerful video, solutions that’ll stay with you for life.
5) Stop giving them the gift of drama
Narcissists create drama, so if you want to make them panic, stop giving them any to indulge in.
If you stop giving them new drama, they will be left with the same old, tired drama that they are used to.
They will grow bored.
If your narcissist is always trying to get you to yell and scream over something they did or said, then stop talking to them completely and wait it out.
The more you allow them to upset you, the more upset they will try to make you.
6) Don’t give them the chance to control you
Narcissists love to control others. They will want to control you if they can.
If you allow them to always be in control, then you will let them.
Never give them the chance by doing something or saying something that would normally send them over the edge. Let them get it out of their system and be over with it already.
7) Don’t empathize
If you stop empathizing with a narcissist, they will panic and lose their connection with you.
Narcissism is about control. So, why do some narcissists seem so needy and attached?
They don’t have a clue how to live without constant attention from others. That’s because they don’t actually “need” anything. It’s all about control for them.
They want you to feel bad for them. But they can’t do the same in return.
They are looking for someone to have their back and make them feel like they aren’t alone.
If you empathize with them and allow them to just be themselves, then you can end up giving them a lot of attention. It’s why they are so needy.
They are looking for attention from others to justify their own existence. So, don’t be fooled.
8) Put them in the spotlight
If you want to put a narcissist in their place, put them in the spotlight.
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If they’re always trying to be the center of attention for all of the wrong reasons, then give them what they want and make them the center of attention for all of the right reasons.
You can play with them and call them out on their lies and dishonesty.
When you do this, you are making it so that they must stop pretending to be someone that they aren’t and be themselves. That alone could be enough to cause a bit of panic.
9) Don’t give them any time off
Narcissists have all the time in the world to hang out, talk on the phone, and plan their schemes, so if you want to make them panic, keep them on their toes. Disrupt them when they least expect it.
When it comes time for them to do their work, they become completely and utterly incapable if you interrupt them, add drama or things that they have to deal with.
Or, if you are able to give them time to themselves, they will also feel panic. If you give them a break from doing their work, they won’t have anything else to do because they don’t have any other productive hobbies or interests.
If you want to make them panic, mess with their sense of time.
10) Be bound by nothing – Let them know that you’re in control
Narcissists love to play the victim to gain sympathy and attention, so you can make them panic when you don’t indulge this in them.
If you don’t give them the chance to play the victim role, they will find something else to take control of their life.
If you want to stop narcissists from acting like victims, let them know that you are in control of your life.
There are many different ways that you can completely disarm a narcissist and turn the tables on them.
So, try some of these tactics out and see what works best for you.
Is it worth playing games with a narcissist?
Turning the tables on a narcissistic is always a good idea because it will put them in their place.
At the end of the day, you can play games with a narcissist, but is it worth it?
When you play games with them, you are still wasting your time and mental energy.
When people upset us, it’s normal to want to have some. revenge and mess with them a little too.
But where are you putting your focus? If it’s always on someone else, then who really benefits?
Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself some important questions here:
What do you want in your relationships?
What really matters to you?
The more you focus on someone else, the less you have a chance to find real, lasting connections with others, and more importantly, with yourself.
If you are getting frustrated with your interactions, this can be a great time to do some inner work.
Not only will it help you to react more effectively to triggering situations and people, but it might also help you to learn more about yourself.
Spend some time reflecting and writing down what you value in your relationships.
What do you hope for?
What do you deserve?
What do you struggle with?
So what’s the solution to feeling worthy of love?
The answer is contained in the relationship you have with yourself.
I was challenged with this reminder by the insightful shaman Rudá Iandê. He likes to offer simple ways to help you see the truth of your reality.
He encouraged me to see through the lies that I tell myself about love, and become truly honest and connected with my innermost sense of being.
It’s not easy to do. And it’s much easier to ignore. That’s why we can so easily get caught wanting to play games with others.
As Rudá explains in this free video, love is not what many of us think it is. Many of us are self-sabotaging our love lives without realizing it.
Far too often we chase an idealized image of someone.
We build up fairy tales and expectations that will be let down and question what it is that we do wrong.
Far too often we wait for someone to come in and fix our lives.
We like to feel taken care of. We gladly give over our sense of control. But this comes at a cost.
Far too often, we are on shaky ground with ourselves. And we forget what matters most to us.
And we hand over our happiness and sense of self to someone else.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective on how I can approach my interactions.
He reminded me to start with myself. And isn’t that the ultimate form of revenge over a narcissist?
Being able to live freely, honestly, and authentically is something they won’t be able to do unless they also start the same inward journey.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find a real, deep connection – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to why I tend to gravitate towards narcissists.
If you’re done with unsatisfying relationships. If you are tired of having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.