Ladies, I went through a period in my life where I couldn’t work out what was wrong with me.
I watched my friends winning over guys, dating, falling in love, and having all these experiences I yearned for.
I had no problem at all meeting guys. I wasn’t shy around them. I was actively seeking this connection. But, every attempt at a relationship I tried fell flat.
And that’s when I came across the secret to a special text message.
My only regret?
That I didn’t know about it earlier.
Where the 12-word text comes from
The 12-word text stems from the hero instinct, a concept coined by relationship expert James Bauer in his book His Secret Obsession.
You see, all men have this biological urge to step up for the woman they care about and earn her respect in return.
A need that I wasn’t satisfied with any guy I met. As a result, I was unable to catch a man, let alone hold onto him like all my friends around me.
The truth is, men, don’t even realize they have this urge. But they are more than aware that something is missing from the relationship when it hasn’t been triggered. It can cause them to stray, break up, and look for it elsewhere.
In the rest of this article, I’m going to show you how I put it to good use in your own relationships, and find yourself with the level of commitment you deserve.
The hero instinct
What is the hero instinct?
First, let’s take a deeper look at exactly what the hero instinct is and why this 12-word text holds so much power when it comes to your relationships.
Don’t be put off by the name.
No one is expecting you to play the role of damsel in distress, just so some man can come and sweep you off your feet and carry you off into the sunset.
We know that it’s the last thing you need. It’s about making him feel like an everyday hero in your life.
The little things you can do to make him feel both essential and needed in your relationship. There are no capes or masks needed for this.
In his book, His Secret Obsession, James Bauer gives you some new understanding into the hero instinct and why it is so valuable.
It comes down to this, men need three things to be happy in a relationship:
- They want to feel valued and appreciated.
- They want to feel respected.
- They want to feel needed.
These insights were novel to me. By triggering this simple instinct in your man, it has the power to change your relationship for the better.
Naturally, this leads to the next question you likely have on your mind right now:
How can you trigger it?
While James Bauer shares a few ideas to get you started, but the easiest is definitely the 12-word text that has been designed to hook a guy in straight away.
What is the 12-word text?
It’s the answer to all your relationship prayers! I’m not even exaggerating with this.
The 12-word text is the key to your relationship.
Of course, you might be wondering just how 12 words can hold so much power in the future of your relationship. I know I did.
It was a number of factors coming together that helped convince me: reading the book, looking into the research, and then putting the 12-word text into action.
James Bauer isn’t just some random person who came out with this concept out of the blue.
He’s a well-known relationships expert who has drawn on years of research into evolutionary psychology.
Basically, when men feel that ancient urge tugging at them it brings up powerful, primordial feelings. Feelings they didn’t even know existed or lay dormant within them.
So, can 12 words really hold that much meaning?
Here’s my experience.
How I used it to change my life forever
There was a man I liked at work, who I had been watching from afar for a long time now.
Given my history of relationships, I was far too nervous to pursue one with him.
After all, once it ended flat like all my past relationships (or attempts at), that would just make things awkward in the workplace. That wasn’t something I wanted for either of us.
But, reading through “His Secret Obsession” and learning about the 12-word text, I felt my confidence growing and decided to bite the bullet and do it.
I started by asking him out, and sure enough, he said yes!
Turns out, I wasn’t the only one who has been harboring these silent feelings.
I let the beginning of the relationship play out like normal, and once I hit the point where all my previous relationships started to get rocky and fizzle out, I pulled out the 12-word text.
It took our relationship to the next level. Instead of fizzling out like normal, he was suddenly ready for the next level of commitment.
I honestly couldn’t believe it. This was an area my relationships had never been to before. The dates started ramping up and he wanted to spend more and more time with me.
Before long, he was asking me to move in with him.
And the key was: triggering his hero instinct.
Now, sending one text didn’t change everything by itself. But it did kickstart an improvement in our relationship, and along with the other tips I learned in His Secret Obsession, I was able to keep our relationship strong and healthy.
And my man was completely satisfied with what he was getting out of our relationship.
More ways to trigger the hero instinct in your man
Understanding the hero instinct gave my relationship the kickstart it needed to succeed. Here are some of the tips I used to trigger his hero instinct.
1) Ask for help
This was something I had always avoided in past relationships. I didn’t want him to feel like I needed him in my life.
With my new man, I did exactly just this.
Now let me tell you, asking for help isn’t something that comes easily to me!
I started off small.
Being in the same workplace together made this easy. I would share when I’d had a bad day and ask for his advice on dealing with certain people in our office.
Once our relationship grew, I invited him into my home and asked him to fix some peeling paint on my wall. Something that once upon a time, I was all too happy to do on my own.
It seemed the more help I asked for, the more he felt drawn to me. I could feel his hero instinct is triggered.
2) Want specific advice?
While this article will tell you everything you need to know about the 12 word text, have you considered speaking to a relationship coach about your situation?
With a professional coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like how to get a man to commit more and love deeper. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems like this.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and helpful they were.
3) Appreciating the little things
Knowing the right words and phrases to whisper into his ear and let him know how much you appreciate the things he does was a game-changer in my relationship.
This is where the 12-word text came into the equation and it was revolutionary.
3) Encouraging him and supporting his dreams
After dating for a while and knowing our relationship was going somewhere, we made the decision that we shouldn’t work together anymore. It was best for our relationship.
My man was getting restless already in his job and was ready to take the next step in his career.
I got right behind him and supported him.
I made sure he didn’t feel pressured or rushed to find a new job and was always there to lend a listening ear if he found any potential jobs that he wanted to apply for.
Of course, I was also there for him at the end to celebrate his success when he landed the perfect job for him! I was so proud and made sure to let him know exactly how I felt.
4) Let him know he made me happy
This part was easy. After all, I had never been in a loving relationship before.
But the important part was making sure I voiced this and let my man know exactly how I felt. No more keeping it bottled up.
Turns out, that words mean so much.
It lets him know that all his efforts haven’t been wasted. That you appreciate them and they are making you happy.
Why do you need a hero?
Whether you are at the start of your relationship, in a committed relationship, or simply looking for a man, it’s also important to ask, do I really need a hero?
You can send that 12-word text but then what?
Feeling like you have to do something to keep your relationship vibrant and supportive can also be a sign that you might be feeling insecure and low on confidence.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and if I did all the right things, he would be mine.
I used to think that I would be happy once I found “the one”. The perfect man who was is my hero.
But the way I see it is that you have two options.
You can try to make your man feel incredible, like he’s your hero, so that you feel strong and secure in the relationship.
Or you can focus on yourself some more and work on making yourself feel loved and confidence from the inside out.
We all hold limiting beliefs about ourselves. That we aren’t good enough. That we need somenone else to make us happy.
We can easily stop ourselves from building deep and intimate relationships with the people we care for. In fact, chasing the illusion of a hero can lead to a sense of lonliness and feeing inadequate.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
And the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
You can make yourself feel so loved at your core that you start to exude that love and others will be drawn to you.
But more importantly, when you see how you can live so authentically your life will feel so much better. Worrying about how someone else feels about you won’t seem like such a problem.
When you are truly open to life, it won’t matter if he’s feeling like your hero, or if you are single, beause you will start to feel like your own hero.
The more connected you are to your true selve, the. more freedom you will have to live vibrantly, expressing yourself authentically, and, accepting of all of life’s outcomes and possibilities.
What kind of life do you want to live?