If you recognize these 7 signs, you were raised by a narcisssist


1. Navigating relationships is really hard for you 

The Irish Times asked readers to share their experiences with narcissistic parents, with one person expressing ongoing self-doubt due to their mother's belittling behavior, while an expert, Dr. Sarah Schewitz, explains how such childhood experiences can impact adult relationships, leading to attachment style challenges and trust issues.

2. You live with a nagging feeling that you’re not good enough

Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that having a narcissistic parent can lead to anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and identity issues, with potential impacts on parenting and professional life, such as Imposter Syndrome due to childhood memories of devaluation and threats to their talents and skills.

3. You find it difficult to express your emotions

Children of narcissistic parents often struggle to express their emotions and set boundaries due to fear of their parent's reaction, leading to difficulties in forming healthy relationships, and this can persist into adulthood, requiring therapy and self-awareness for healing and healthier connections, according to counselor Heather Hayes.

4. You value validation from other people over your own opinion

Due to the lack of approval and validation in childhood from narcissistic parents, adults who grew up in such environments may develop a dependency on seeking reassurance from others, driven by their parents' unmet needs for admiration and recognition, but they can work on self-validation by acknowledging strengths, progress, and treating themselves kindly, according to experts Pamela Li and Sharon Martin.

5. You’re prone to perfectionism and can’t take a compliment 

Children of narcissistic parents often become perfectionists, being hard on themselves and struggling to accept compliments, but they can unlearn this thinking by recognizing that their parent's demand for perfection was a means of control and by embracing mistakes as learning opportunities and enjoying compliments, according to Bryan Leopold and Oregon Counseling.

6. You seem to self-sabotage as soon as things are going right

Children of narcissists may carry self-sabotaging behaviors into adulthood, such as procrastination and self-criticism, but they can break these patterns by cultivating self-awareness through journaling and making gradual, incremental changes, according to therapists Sarah Graham and Tanya J. Peterson.

7. You are scared to stand up for yourself 

Growing up in a narcissistic household led one Quora user to fear confrontations and opt for the path of least resistance in personal interactions, which can persist into adulthood, manifesting as reluctance to stand up to demanding bosses or voice opinions in relationships.

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