If someone displays these 5 behaviors, they probably lack emotional intelligence


1. They have a habit of holding grudges—both big and small

Many of us, like the fictional character Anne Shirley, hold onto grudges for years, but people with low emotional intelligence tend to dwell on perceived wrongs, attributing negative motivations to others, which can lead to resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness, impacting their lives negatively, while forgiveness is seen as a way to release the past and free up valuable energy, according to therapist Andrea Brandt.

2. They think the world owes them something

When people express a negative, entitled attitude like "same sh*t, different day," it reflects a lack of emotional intelligence and appreciation, as they often believe the world owes them something without earning it, and overcoming entitlement involves self-reflection, setting personal goals, and practicing kindness and compassion, according to Laura Angers Maddox from Better Help.

3. They play the blame game 

Emotionally immature individuals tend to constantly feel offended and blame others for any situation, making conflict resolution difficult, as they refuse to take responsibility, according to Jason Brien from Reforming Trauma Coaching.

4. They tend to have toxic relationships 

Dr. John Deloney defines toxic people as those who make selfishness a way of life, resulting in unhealthy relationships marked by distress, manipulation, and disrespect, which can occur in any type of relationship, contrasting them with healthy relationships that involve mutual well-being.

5. They tend to go from one emotional extreme to another 

People lacking emotional intelligence struggle to control their emotions due to a lack of insight and self-regulation skills, often reacting disproportionately to triggers, while developing emotional intelligence involves fostering a growth mindset, understanding one's emotions, and taking ownership of mistakes, according to Elizabeth Perry from BetterUp.

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