BY TINA FEY
Encouraging others to take responsibility for their own lives, including their emotions, is a respectful act, but invalidating someone's experiences stems from defensiveness rather than self-empowerment, leading to long-term shame, guilt, and compromised standards.
How someone expresses their disagreement speaks volumes about them, and unless it affects others' well-being, a respectful disagreement prioritizes preserving the relationship over the need to be right, preventing imbalance, internal conflict, and a loss of personal values.
When respect and boundaries exist within oneself, others who view you as an extension of themselves may perceive it as a barrier, leading to a sense of having to overextend oneself, keep secrets, and suppress individuality, resulting in a feeling of self-annihilation within the relationship.
Your autonomy and individuality, including the people and things you love outside the relationship, are essential, and although subtle, attempts to make you question or rely on their opinion can hinder your self-expression and prevent you from speaking up for yourself, leaving you without the support that brings joy and a sense of uniqueness in life.
Withholding affection or offering unsolicited advice can make you feel perpetually inadequate in someone's eyes, even if unintentional, as people often repeat unhealthy cycles projected onto them and others.
Intentional or not, disrespecting your privacy, attempting to embarrass you in front of others, or prioritizing their own social image over your well-being are clear indicators that the person struggles to form genuine connections, causing harm to your relationship and undermining your overall social interactions, leading to increased feelings of isolation.
Frequent fluctuations between hot and cold behavior, coupled with a lack of integrity and failure to uphold promises and values, indicate a person's poor self-relationship, draining your energy, eroding trust, and leaving you feeling exhausted and unfulfilled in the relationship.
Authenticity is crucial in assessing respect in a relationship, as it involves presence, active listening, and honesty, while disrespectful individuals can be identified by their lack of vulnerability and reciprocation, emphasizing the importance of discernment and prioritizing self-respect, understanding one's needs, and recognizing that one's worth extends beyond any particular relationship.