BY WENDY KAUR
Toxic partners, particularly men, tend to be drawn to women, creating relationships filled with destructive patterns, and while women often feel the need to fix them, it's important to recognize that self-improvement comes from within to attract healthier individuals.
Similar to toxic workplace cultures exploiting generosity, the same pattern occurs in personal lives, where toxic individuals take advantage of your selflessness and manipulate you into fulfilling all their needs, leading you to believe that sacrificing your own needs is a way to prove your worth and love, making you appealing to them for misguided reasons.
Despite recognizing that your partner has numerous unresolved issues that may be beyond your capacity to handle, glimpses of improvement, such as addressing addiction problems through AA meetings or rehab, give you hope for lasting change, leading you to cling to the belief that one day things will truly transform, despite the familiar cycle of setbacks.
Believing Maya Angelou's quote about people showing their true selves, it applies when your partner consistently belittles you, yet you justify it by focusing on their supposed good heart, dismissing your own hurt feelings, which is not a healthy relationship but rather a choice to become a martyr, sacrificing your well-being for the sake of the relationship.
In unhealthy or abusive relationships, individuals often make excuses for their partner's actions, ultimately shouldering the blame for their bad behavior, exemplifying a classic case of gaslighting where the abused person wrongly internalizes responsibility for their own misfortune, emphasizing that regardless of the abuser's admission of fault, it is not your role to bear the blame.
Supermodel Bella Hadid revealed her transformation from toxic relationships driven by people-pleasing tendencies, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing self-identity, desires, values, and well-being.
Do you find yourself being the go-to person for friends' drama or readily accommodating demanding bosses, believing it's not a problem because what you were doing wasn't important anyway, but in reality, by allowing everyone access to you, you invite toxic individuals into your life, so it's important to set boundaries, put the phone on silent, and have the autonomy to make your own rules.