5 signs you’re an over-apologizer (and how to stop)


1. You take responsibility for other people’s feelings and actions

In my youth, I excessively cared about others' opinions, censoring myself and constantly managing my image, a struggle I haven't entirely overcome; however, I've started learning that I can't control others' reactions, focusing on taking responsibility for my actions and feelings and using journaling to distinguish them from others' emotions, helping me navigate situations more clearly.

2. You apologize as a means of avoiding conflict and difficult conversations 

Instead of automatically apologizing in situations where there's underlying truth to your words, it's better to confront the root issue with your friend in a calm and thoughtful manner to prevent burying unresolved problems beneath insincere apologies and potential future resentment.

3. You apologize when setting boundaries

Establishing and respecting personal boundaries, such as protecting your alone time or prioritizing loved ones, shouldn't require apologies, even if guilt arises, as it signifies prioritizing your values and can be approached with self-compassion by considering how you'd support a friend in a similar situation.

4. You apologize for making time for yourself

Amid our busy lives and increasing responsibilities, it's crucial to cherish and not feel guilty about the precious moments we carve out for ourselves, even if they seem elusive, as they provide a chance to recharge and enhance our well-being and relationships.

5. You apologize for needing others’ help and support 

Occasionally, I still apologize for needing help due to a long-standing fear of burdening others, but I've learned that admitting my needs is a crucial step in seeking support and building intimate relationships.

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