5 signs your need for independence is getting in the way of having a fulfilling relationship

BY MAL JAMES

1. You don’t like to make long-term commitments

I used to resist long-term plans in relationships, fearing they'd tie me down, but I learned that commitment doesn't diminish independence, and if you find yourself avoiding future discussions in relationships, it could be hindering your ability to fully embrace them.

2. You have a hard time asking for emotional support

If you're hesitant to share your struggles or seek comfort from your partner due to a fear of vulnerability, it may indicate that your independence is affecting your ability to form a supportive bond, a behavior I struggled with in the past.

3. You always prioritize your friends over the people you date

In my early twenties, I often prioritized my friends over my romantic partners as a way to maintain independence, but I learned that consistently doing so can harm relationships and that balance between friends and a partner is essential.

4. You like to keep your schedule a ‘secret’

In a healthy relationship, sharing your schedule fosters inclusion and trust, and my reluctance to do so in past relationships was driven by a desire for independence, which ultimately hindered the connection.

5. You resist introducing them to your inner circle

Consistently keeping your partner separate from your inner circle can indicate a reluctance to fully integrate them into your life, a pattern I recognized in my own relationships as a misguided attempt to maintain independence, but introducing your partner to your broader social and family circle can deepen your connection and show the relationship's significance.

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