We’ve all been there – there is this one person and we just wish nothing more than for them to be obsessed with us, if possible – as obsessed as we feel with them.
If that sounds like you, just know that I have been in the same shoes as you, you’re not alone with this. I tried everything (and I mean, like, EVERYTHING) – affirmations, visualizations, manifestation journals – you name it.
As much as I wished for those things to work, all they did was make me feel more desperate, needy, and alone than ever before.
Until I stumbled upon the secret that changed everything and helped me pull in the people I was interested in, without any effort! And that’s exactly what I want to share with you today:
The secret to making people obsessed with you
The secret to making people obsessed with you has little to do with affirmations. What I discovered on my journey, was that in order to make people obsessed with me, I had to shift my focus from them to myself.
Now, before that sounds like the opposite of what you thought you’d be reading about, hear me out.
In terms of pulling people in and making them obsessed with you, think of yourself as a magnet. The more energy and power a magnet has on its own, the greater its pull will be.
It is the same with people and relationships. The more energy and personal power a person has, the more other people are drawn to them and want to be with them.
In other words, the more you work on yourself and your personal power, the more other people will be obsessed with you. Trust me, I speak from experience.
If working on this seems daunting to you, don’t worry, I broke it down into 7 easy steps that I took as well, which will help you make anyone obsessed with you:
1) Know what you stand for and what your needs are
There is a famous saying that goes something like this: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything”.
This is absolutely true. Knowing your own values and needs is important in order to even know who would be a compatible match for you, let alone attract them. If you are unclear about what is important to you, it will be really hard to look for it in someone else.
In order to do this, you should take some time to identify your values. What do you appreciate? What are your needs and boundaries?
Once you have established that, you can try and evaluate how much you honor those needs and values in your life already and work towards honoring them even more.
That also means taking ownership and responsibility for your own needs and wants. Especially when people want someone to be obsessed with them, they tend to abandon their own needs in order to fulfill all their partner’s wishes.
Instead of making their partner obsess over them more, this behaviour often has the exact opposite effect.
Nobody is more attractive than a person who knows their value and does not settle for less.
2) Choose not to be a victim
Being single, liking someone, and wishing they would reciprocate, or being in a relationship where you feel like you are more invested than your partner, are all no reasons to feel like a victim.
No matter what your situation is, it is very empowering to realize that you are always in control. You might not be in control of other people or situations, but you can control how you react to them and how you let them shape the image you have of yourself.
Feeling like the victim, or like you are completely powerless when trying to get someone to obsess over you, will do the complete opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.
Think about it, who would you be more intrigued by, someone who claims their power and knows that even when they aren’t where they would ideally want to be just yet, that doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with them, or someone who believes just that?
Getting out of the victim mentality can be scary, but tremendously empowering.
When feeling powerless and like you just wish you could make them obsessed with you, take a moment and get curious as to where these feelings of powerlessness are coming from.
Then remind yourself of the infinitely powerful being you are, and that you can choose not to let a situation affect the way you see yourself.
3) Do the things you love
Taking time to do the things you love doing has a multitude of advantages.
First of all, it will make you a happier person overall. Also, being focused on things you love will help in making people obsessed with you. It is very attractive to be passionate about something.
If you aren’t sure what you enjoy doing, this is a great time to explore that. Try out different things, even if they feel crazy at first. Go to a dance class, buy a canvas and try yourself at painting, join a chess club, whatever it is that you feel the slightest spark of interest for – try it out!
That way, you will not only build a life that you love, but when you do end up attracting the person of your dreams, you will be someone who is passionate about life and the things they do, and who doesn’t like that?
Plus, finding something you love doing will inevitably make you more confident, which will, in turn, make you a more radiant, magnetic person who attracts other people.
Another great advantage of doing more of the things you love is that you will be exposed to people who love the same things as you, and you can create meaningful connections.
4) Invest in yourself
We already established that the more energy you put into growing and developing yourself, the more magnetic and attractive you will be to other people.
For this particular reason, it is very important to invest in yourself when trying to make other people obsessed with you.
No matter who you ask, people who have invested in themselves will always tell you that it is an investment that pays off, no matter what.
Not only are you bettering yourself in the process, but you are also signaling to other people that you value yourself and don’t shy away from committing to yourself.
This will spark the desire in other people to be like you, and be with you.
Investing in yourself can look different for everyone. Maybe you want to invest in your education, your well-being, your career, your health,… no matter what it is, it will pay off in the long run.
Take a course, get a life coach, go to the gym, attend therapy, the options are endless.
This is not only a great way to make people want to be with you, more than anything it will help you out! When life gets tough (as it so often does), you will have learned more about yourself through the work you’ve put in, and feel more confident that no matter what, you can take care of yourself.
5) Be authentically yourself
As scary as it can be sometimes, being yourself, unapologetically, will actually make people obsessed with you.
Because after all, that’s what everybody desires at the end of the day, being themselves and being accepted and wanted for who they are.
Of course, being authentically yourself can put you in a vulnerable position. After all, if someone criticizes something about you that isn’t really you anyway, it is a lot easier to not take it personally.
But, nothing will drain your personal power more than pretending to be someone you aren’t. Also, this kind of energy can’t be faked, so at the end of the day, you will not attract the person or attention you desire anyways.
Learn to embrace who you are, your quirks, your uniqueness, and your values. This will strengthen your personal power and make you an intriguing person people want to be around.
I had a hard time with this myself, but trust me, as soon as you embrace who you are, your personal power will surge through the roof.
But how can you manage to become your true self?
A while ago, I also asked myself this question and found a solution to building a healthy relationship with myself.
I know this might sound a bit confusing, watched an inspiring video on Love and Intimacy from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê will indeed help you realize why a relationship with yourself matters in your love life.
Rudá‘s solutions helped me realize that you can’t fix the external without seeing to the internal first. And I’m sure it will also work for you to find ways and become authentically yourself to make someone obsessed with you.
Check out the free video here.
6) Be present
It doesn’t matter if you’re with other people or by yourself, try to practice mindfulness and being present as much as you can.
Not only is a person who can be in the moment very attractive, fun, playful, and full of joy, but practicing being in the now will also tremendously improve the way life feels to you.
When you are with somebody, make it a habit to give them your full attention. Listen, truly listen to them and look them in the eyes.
This will create a deep connection that is hard to resist by most people. At the same time, you will notice that this will make all your relationships more meaningful and deep, romantic or not.
But not just in interaction with others can presence be a big life-changer. Try it as often as you can, and get out of your head and into the moment.
For example, when washing the dishes, instead of going through the motion automatically, without thinking much about it, try being really present and notice how the experience changes from mundane to interesting.
Notice the way the soap smells, the sound of the tap running, the feeling of the sponge and warm water on your skin, the texture of the dishes.
It may sound silly at first, but using this technique can really enhance virtually any task you need to do in your life and can be a hack to fall in love with the little moments we often overlook.
If you’re unsure where to start, think of your 5 senses. Whenever you want to practice presence, check in with yourself: What do you hear? What do you feel? What do you see? What do you smell? What do you taste?
You can also start a meditation practice. It might be challenging at first, but over time it will lead to being more mindful and present in everything you do.
Noticing the little things in life that bring us joy will also help us fall back in love with living. And nothing is more radiant and magnetic than a person in love with the life they are living.
If you’re up for a fun challenge, try to see the world from the eyes of a child for a day, or even just an hour. Let yourself be amazed by the little things. The way cereal gets soggy when in the milk for too long, the way a candle melts its wax, the way a soft blanket feels on your skin.
Get curious again, the way you were as a kid.
Focus on yourself and watch how the energies shift and people gravitate towards you
There are many things you can try to make someone obsessed with you, but at the end of the day, focusing on yourself will do the trick more efficiently than anything else ever could.
The more you work on nurturing yourself and growing as a person, the more people will gravitate towards you and want to be with you.
And the best part? You will love yourself more in the process, setting any relationship that might result from this off to a much healthier, more secure, and more grounded start.
The more you practice this, and the easier it gets for you to attract other people, the more you will notice that it wasn’t really ever about them in the first place, it has always been about you and making sure you can give yourself the love you thought you desire from other people.
Focus on yourself and watch everyone follow your lead.
