28 ways to keep the conversation going with your boyfriend

Are you finding it hard to keep your conversations with your boyfriend new and fresh like when you first met?

There are so many fun and easy ways to keep your relationship with your boyfriend going.

The following 28 ideas will help you find new things to discuss with your significant other, stay connected, and have a great time. Let’s get right to it!

1) Try a new course together

If you are both taking a class together, try something new to learn about together.

Do you have any friends that have taken classes on a subject you both have an interest in? You could take their recommendation or try something new in your area.

Taking a course that exposes you both to new concepts will give you much more to discuss in your conversations. It also helps you invest in yourself and grow and develop as a person, which is integral to any relationship.

2) Take a trip together

We can learn a lot when we are single and traveling alone. But traveling with your boyfriend can also reveal a great deal about his character and desires.

Plan a vacation together. If you are both working, it would be nice to plan an escape that is not too long away but still allows you to get away from everyday life.

You could plan a weekend trip to the beach or go skiing if that is what you like.

A holiday with your significant other is always special and fun and gives new experiences to discuss with one another.

3) Try something new in bed together

If you are both feeling adventurous, try something new in bed together, and talk about it!

There are so many conversations that are reserved for pillow talk.

You can plan and buy new toys or just take it slow and try something simple like giving each other a massage and exploring sensual touch.

Discussing how the new sensations feel will be a way to open up more intimate conversations with your boyfriend.

4) Learn a new language together

Falling in love can help you learn a new language.

So, why not take up the challenge and learn a foreign language together?

It will be fun for you both to learn about it together and of course, you will have plenty to talk about in a new way when the class is over.

Take it a step further and plan a trip to a country where the language you are learning is spoken. You don’t need to plan an expensive trip to Europe, there are many trips you can take together that will be more affordable.

5) Explore scientific facts together

Read up on scientific experiments that reveal something new about the world around us. It’s perfectly fine to get geeky with your boyfriend.

There are so many new, fascinating, and bizarre concepts to explore in science and the nature of reality.

Share your knowledge over dinner and discuss things like black holes, the gravitational pull of planets, or the human genome.

You will learn some fascinating new things together.

6) Ask open-ended questions

Experts at the Gottman institute who study relationships and marriage success, remind us of the importance of asking open-ended questions.

These types of questions elicit a response in our partner that isn’t just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response. They have to think more consciously about their response and share information that holds a more personalized and deeper meaning.

Some examples of open-ended questions are:

  • What was it like when….
  • How did you ever….
  • In what ways is…
  • Can you tell me more about…
  • How did you…
  • How do you feel about…
  • What’s your take on…
  • What do you think of…

Ask five to ten open-ended questions each day to get the conversation flowing naturally.

7) Share a hobby

You may be interested in the same things as your boyfriend, but you can still keep the conversations interesting by sharing a hobby that you are passionate about. Nothing is a better hack than being completely enthralled and passionate about a new hobby.

You could do something together like bike riding or horseback riding. Or you can do your things at the same time, so you are still thinking about each other, but getting to enjoy something on your own too.

This will give you plenty of new conversations to have, guaranteed.

8) Volunteer together

As life coach Tony Robbins reminds us, “the secret to living is giving”. Reaching out and giving back is a great way to keep things exciting.

Volunteer to help clean up the local park or contribute to your community in any way you see fit. Look for ways to do something together regularly.

To find new ways to spark your conversations, try volunteering together. You can volunteer for a cause that is important to you both and will naturally have new stories and experiences to share as well.

Perhaps it’s at an animal shelter, first aid clinic, or local school. Taking the focus off your own everyday lives and on helping others can give you both something more broad and meaningful to discuss.

9) Buy a present for each other

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Plan a date and buy presents for each other.

You could do something challenging like give each other a five-dollar limit and tell them they have one hour to find something that reminds them of the other person.

Nothing like a little, thoughtful, expressive challenge to bring you two closer together.

10) Start a new fitness challenge together

Pick up something new that you both can do together and challenge yourselves physically.

If you want to start biking, go out and get bikes and helmets. You could also take up hiking and learn new paths and trails in your area. Introducing a competitive challenge can help you to focus your conversations on supporting one another and uplifting one another.

Encouraging each other physically can also help you to both feel better all around.

11) Go to a show together

There are plenty of shows out there from comedy to concerts to an outdoor theater that you could go to as a couple.

You get to share a laugh, anger alike, and if you are lucky enough to catch the fringe performance of your favorite musical or comedian you will never forget that moment in time.

It is a fun night out and will give you both something to talk about when the show is over.

You could also plan and make it a special date night with dinner before the show.

12) Learn new recipes together

One of the easiest ways to bond with someone is over food. Why not learn how to cook it?

Plan on making something new for dinner or dessert together.

You can each pick one recipe for the other person to learn or if you are feeling ambitious, you can each learn one recipe.

Cooking is always fun and it will be easy to talk about what went right or wrong while cooking with your boyfriend while having dinner or dessert.

If you want to get to know each other more deeply you can try to recreate your favorite dish or each other’s secret family recipes.

13) Go on a hike together

This is something you can do in the warmer weather and learn about nature while having fun and being active together. There are many reasons why a hiking date is a great idea.

You can talk about the local wildlife and vegetation, really get to know your surrounding environment, and pack a fabulous picnic to take in a great view.

Hiking is a fun way to get out of the house, get some fresh air, and enjoy nature as a couple. Walking in nature also gets you both used to spend time in silence with one another.

There are so many enjoyable sounds that you can both tune into, like trying to identify different birdsong, that takes the pressure off of keeping conversations continuously rolling.

Getting used to quiet moments can help to keep your conversations feeling fresh.

14) Go to a stimulating lecture

There are many evening lecture series offered at local universities, museums, and galleries. These lectures will range from performing arts to architecture to foodie culture.

Try to get out to something to one and learn something more about a new topic.

It is a great way to spend time together and learn more about each other.

15) Ask him questions about his family

If your boyfriend is not very open about his family, it can be a little awkward to talk about. But you can still find new things to discuss with him, by asking him questions about his family.

Even though it may seem like a cliche, one of the best ways to learn more about someone is to ask them about their family.

You can ask him if he has brothers or sisters, how old they are, what they do for a living, and more.

16) Go to the movies together

Both of you could go to the movies and see a new movie with each other. Try to pick a director that you admire or a film genre that you like to discuss.

It is a fun date night and it will be easy to talk about afterward if you haven’t already talked about it in the movie theater.

You could also watch each other’s all-time favorite movie and discuss why it resonated so strongly.

Movies are a common first date, so going back to the cinema can help to rekindle a flame. Here are some more ideas on first-date conversations topics to bring up that you might have missed with your boyfriend.

17) Read books together

Don’t be afraid to let your inner bookworm shine.

Invite your boyfriend to read with you. It could be slow and easy-going like reading the Sunday paper or it could be intense, like reading a book you’ve both been dying to read.

Reading not only offers intellectual stimulation but also promotes closeness through sharing an intimate moment (and gives you something to talk about).

If you both like to read, try reading something new and different together every week or so. If you’re an avid reader, trying a new genre could be a good way to expand your horizons, and maybe even learn something new.

If you are reading a book together, it is a way to keep a conversation going, even when you are apart. You are both thinking about the book and the same topic, so you will have plenty to talk about.

18) Plan a surprise date night

Plan a date night with your significant other that is different from your average date night.

You can organize an exotic type of food they may not be used to or learn how to dance or anything that you know they will enjoy and bring some excitement into your relationship.

Having new flavors and experiences together can certainly spice things up and have you talking about new things. Try to describe your new sensations with one another.

19) Ask him questions about his past relationships

If you want to know if there are any concerns in your relationship, ask your boyfriend questions about his past relationships.

According to relationship expert, Lisa Daily,

“Here’s how to find out if he was committed in a past relationship: Ask him why it didn’t work out. Did they just not have enough in common? Did they argue a lot? Was she clingy and jealous? It’s easier to understand what your boyfriend needs if you know what he didn’t get from his last relationship. More importantly, you will gain insight into his character.”

If he is honest with you and opens up, you will be able to feel more secure in the relationship and know that he is not hiding anything from you.

20) Find your childhood report card and read it to each other

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Have you ever wondered what your boyfriend was like as a child? Ask him to find and read out his kindergarten report card. See how much he has changed and which observations still hold.

You can do this with other reports too like his report cards from middle school or even college.

You may learn something you never knew about your boyfriend and it will be something to talk about.

21) Listen to other couples in therapy together

This might sound a little strange, but to eavesdrop on different couples in a therapy session can be rather enlightening.

It can bring up issues and topics that you might have never discussed with your boyfriend before.

Relationship therapist Ester Perel allows listeners to peek into the lives of her clients on her podcast “Where Do We Begin”.

It might help to hear the fetishes, taboos, and desires of others couples to open up and discuss topics that might have otherwise glossed over with your boyfriend.

22) Ask him to share his most embarrassing moment in life

I’m sure we have all been embarrassed at some point in our lives. Your boyfriend probably has great moments that he’s never thought to share with anyone.

Ask your boyfriend to share one of his most embarrassing moments with you. You might be pleasantly surprised at how entertaining he is.

Most likely he will feel comfortable enough to share with you and it is a good way to open up and get some good laughs in the process.

We all have great stories that we can look back and laugh at and feel relieved that we made it through the other side.

23) Write each other cards

Try not to text each other for a week.

Instead, agree to write each other a card that you will give to one another.

Write out what you have learned most from one another. What you learned about yourself and what you learned about each other. You can share this card, one at a time or all together.

24) Learn to dance together

Learning how to dance can be a great exercise both physically and mentally and something you can do together.

Dancing is relaxing and has both of you smiling while at the same time getting your hearts pumping and even synchronized.

You can go out to a club or class to learn new moves and have fun doing it.

There are lessons for all types of personalities, whether it be a structured tango class, a more vibrant stomp group class, or a high-energy hip hop class. You could also learn a little bachata to learn how to move more sensually with one another.

25) Ask him about his greatest travel moments

If your boyfriend loves to travel, ask him about his best travel experience.

You can ask what he loved about the trip and what were some of the most memorable parts. What made him want to go to that area? What did he miss most about home?

Try to ask him to recall the positive aspects of the trip and the most surprising moments.

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”

– Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

26) Ask him questions on what success means to him

Ask your boyfriend how he would define success. And if he would like to be famous? For what?

Finding out more about someone’s intrinsic motivation and concepts of success can be very revealing. And the more you know about him, the closer you will be.

Does he want to be successful? What does that look like to him? What is the meaning of a well-lived life?

Take these questions as a way to connect and learn more about each other.

27) Learn what challenges has he had to overcome

One way to get closer to your boyfriend is to ask him what he would consider being the greatest accomplishment of his life. Has he had to face some challenges that made him who he is today? It’s more than just asking him what his favorite movie is. This will get the conversation started!

He will be happy to tell you about what he is most proud of and what it took for him to succeed.

You might learn more about what makes him tick and how far he feels he has grown to live life the way he is.

28) Try the 36 question challenge

If you want to try an intensive interview style of questions, a recent psychology study explores how to accelerate the intimacy between two strangers.

They asked each other a long series of intimate questions. The 36 questions are divided into three groupings, each getting progressively intense. This questionnaire is one effective way to get to know each other very rapidly.

“In the best conversations, you don’t even remember what you talked about, only how it felt. It felt like we were in someplace your body can’t visit, someplace with no ceiling and no walls and no floor and no instruments”

– John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Overall, many of these conversation ideas are great ways to make your relationship stronger. They help you learn more about each other and deepen your bond.

Having fun and laughter together will make life feel more fulfilling as a couple and it will only continue to make you closer together and have new and fun things to discover and discuss.

We can all feel a little nervous to have amazing and impressive conversations with our significant other.

But try to be too nervous. The intensity of getting to know one another will ebb and flow throughout your relationship.

Enjoy getting to know one another. Even when you think you know someone, they can always be surprising. So, try to stay open, curious, and inquisitive and you can’t go wrong!

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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