Julienne Merza
Being rejected is probably one of the worst feelings ever.
And if you’re reading this right now, chances are you’re going through this difficult phase in your life. But that’s exactly what this is—a phase.
As Sir Charlie Chaplin said, “Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.”
Plus, you’re not alone.
I know how much it sucks to feel like you’re undeserving of the things (or of the people) that you badly want to manifest in your life.
So in this article, I’ve written down the ten different ways that personally help me deal with rejection, so you can overcome it with grace and your head held high.
Ready? Sit back, take a deep breath, and let’s begin!
1) Sit with your feelings
If you think you can simply “move on” from this, you’re wrong.
In order for healing to take place, you’ve got to make space for it. This means allowing yourself to feel and acknowledging every emotion that comes to the surface.
Feel like crying? Go for it.
Angry? Scream into your pillow.
Disappointed? That’s okay. Perhaps you have every right to be.
It doesn’t matter how you feel; just let it flow freely.
Don’t judge it or force yourself to be “okay” immediately.
Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship or opportunity that didn’t work out.
And while you’re doing this…
2) Be kind to yourself
Rejection has a way of making us feel unwanted, unqualified, or unworthy.
But that’s a lie.
That’s your inner critic speaking, trying to make sense of the situation.
So when you’re struggling, it’s important to learn how to differentiate the voice of your ego from the voice of your authentic self.
Then gather all the love you have for others and pour it back into your heart.
Through self-compassion, you’ll start to see yourself as your own best friend. And you wouldn’t be harsh to a struggling friend, right?
It’s also easy to resort to self-blame at this time.
But if you know that you’ve done your best, then…
3) Don’t take it personally
I once read a quote that said, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there is still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
And I think that sums it all up. Reading that instantly shifted my perspective and validated my situation.
It really happens to the best of us!
Everyone gets rejected, and that’s okay.
I don’t even like everyone, so how can I expect everyone to like me or choose me, for that matter?
But seriously, I wish I’d realized sooner that rejection is a subjective decision and therefore not necessarily a reflection of my abilities, qualities, or worth as a person.
Plus, some things are just beyond our control. However, if it gets overwhelming…
4) Ask for support
Rejection can be a very humbling experience, and not everyone is willing to be vulnerable in front of another.
This is especially true if you’ve been raised as a high achiever. Or have been brought up in a home that doesn’t have room for mistakes and only sees rejection as a sign of failure.
So I understand if you choose to keep quiet and deal with rejection in private.
But one of the biggest lies I’ve told myself is that healing can happen in isolation.
There’s no shame in asking for support from a trusted friend, family member, or professional. And there’s no harm in sharing your feelings, especially if it can help alleviate your emotional burden.
You might be surprised at how, despite our prejudice and status in life, no one is ever spared from rejection.
So instead of wallowing in self-pity…
5) Practice self-care
Declutter your space and let new energies in!
Personally, I love to move things around my room to get rid of stagnant energies and change the atmosphere.
Simply cleaning and decorating my room gives me a renewed sense of self, helping me shift my perspective from hopeless to empowered.
I also love to engage in activities that make me feel light and grounded. And you can absolutely do the same!
Instead of waiting for that perfect opportunity (or person), try new hobbies or pursue your favorite ones. Take yourself out on a date. Move, meditate, and take it slow.
Go out in nature and be reminded that, just like the flowers, you’re not supposed to bloom all year round.
6) Forgive and release
Forgiveness is not easy, but it is oftentimes necessary when dealing with rejection.
You can forgive the person who rejected you if that’s going to make you feel better.
But the most important person that you need to make peace with is yourself.
Forgive yourself for doubting your abilities.
Forgive yourself for believing that you don’t have what it takes.
Forgive yourself for questioning your worth.
Then let it go.
Let go of any expectations you had of the person or situation.
Free yourself of the things and people that hold you back, so you can…
7) Keep pushing forward
Don’t be disheartened, and stay persistent.
Sometimes, things and people don’t happen in our lives because we also need to change.
Rejection can be a secret message to choose or do things differently.
If this is about a job, use this rejection as an opportunity to identify your shortcomings and reassess what could be improved.
Take this time of reflection to hone your skills and develop new strategies.
You can practice more, study more, or hire a coach. Do anything except give up!
And if this is about a relationship, remind yourself of your values and great qualities. Take a step back and respect the other person’s decision.
But don’t let their impressions of you become a mirror.
Double down on your strengths instead of focusing on where you went wrong.
Be flexible and open to change. And, of course…
8) Focus on alignment
“What you seek is seeking you.” – Rumi
No one else loves like you do. No one else has your visions, innate gifts, and natural warmth.
You have so much to offer.
And yes, they are badly needed in this world.
But your unique energy is not for everyone.
So just because your dreams and manifestations aren’t happening yet doesn’t mean that they won’t. Sometimes the answer is no because there’s a better door that you can say yes to.
And there are moments when rejection is a form of protection.
In other words, rejection is the universe’s way of aligning you with the right people and opportunities.
Always trust the divine timing of your life and make time to…
9) Celebrate how far you’ve come
You might still be far from where you want to be in life, but you’re also far from where you used to be.
You’ve come a long way, and that’s progress right there.
Make it a habit to celebrate your small wins. These “small” wins can be as simple as:
- Establishing a new routine
- Completing a short online course or tutorial
- Organizing your workspace
- Sticking to a budget
- Trying a digital detox, or
- Socializing after a time of being in hermit mode
Take time to appreciate the things you’ve already achieved and the genuine people who are present in your life. Realize that you can attract more by filling your heart with gratitude.
Reflect on the challenges you’ve overcome and give yourself credit for not only going through them but also growing through them.
Give yourself the much-needed credit that you deserve.
Doing this will mentally prepare you to…
10) Set new goals
Sometimes, rejection is the universe’s way of redirecting you to the right path.
Your logical mind will do its best to fight the changes because the ego thinks it knows better.
But if you practice the tips above, you’ll realize that rejection will never define your story.
In fact, you haven’t seen the big picture yet.
So if this last one didn’t work out, set new goals or meet new people.
Be crystal clear about what you want, take aligned actions, stay true to your values, and be open to receiving.
Hold on to your vision, because what’s meant for you will not pass you by.
Final thoughts
It sucks to be rejected.
It sucks to spend your time working on or building something only for it to be turned down.
It sucks to pour out your affection and open up your soul to someone only for it to be dismissed.
But want me to let you in on a little secret?
You will be rejected a lot in this life. And you will be rejected hard.
That’s life, and it isn’t always fair.
But you know what I think?
I think that you’re way stronger than you think and more capable than others have led you to believe.
I think that there’s no easier way to deal with rejection, but there’s also nothing that you cannot overcome.
You’re going to be fine. I believe in you. You’ve got this.
