Did you know a man’s relationship with his mother can impact his romantic relationships?
If you’re currently dating a man who shows certain signs, it could mean he has “mommy issues” that may affect your relationship.
In this article, we’ll explore 8 warning signs that might show you’re dating a man with mommy issues. Let’s dive in!
1) He constantly compares you to his Mom
Alright, let’s address a situation that can leave you feeling like you’re in a never-ending competition with the most formidable opponent: his mother.
Picture this: You’re enjoying your partner’s company and having a conversation, and then suddenly, he drops comments like, “You know, my mom used to do this so much better,” and “You’re not as caring as my mom.” Ouch!
You might find that you’re constantly being measured against an unattainable benchmark, from cooking skills to nurturing abilities.
Now, it’s okay for someone to look up to their mother. I look up to mine as she has done so much for me!
But it’s another thing to be compared to that person constantly. If this is the case for you, you might feel like you’re never good enough.
2) His mother always comes first
You might especially be feeling that way if his mother always comes first.
In this scenario, you’ll notice that he constantly seeks his mother’s approval for even the most trivial decisions, like what to wear or where to go on holiday.
It’s as if he can’t make a move without consulting her first!
Look, it’s normal to seek advice from your parents. After all, they’re older and wiser than us.
But a man with deep-rooted mommy issues may rely on his mother’s opinions to the point of being unable to trust his own judgment.
3) He struggles to make decisions independently
So, it should come as no surprise if he’s a little on the emotionally dependent side.
He relies heavily on his mother’s opinions to guide him, whether it’s about his career, personal interests, or even everyday choices like what to wear or where to go.
He may even look to you for guidance and approval for even the simplest choices.
And if he depends mostly on his mother’s opinions, you may feel like your voice and perspective are secondary.
And it’s usually the people with low self-confidence that tend to need constant reassurance.
So let’s delve into that a little further, shall we?
4) He constantly needs reassurance
Now, this one is a common characteristic you might notice when dating a man with mommy issues.
Perhaps your man constantly asks about your feelings for him. Or needs reassurance about your commitment. Or the fact that you’re attracted to him.
And no matter how much you tell him, he still asks for it. He just can’t bring himself to believe the words that come out of your mouth.
But that’s what he needs to feel validated, boost his self-esteem and have a sense of self-worth.
This behavior could come down to his childhood with his mother. He may have grown up seeking his mother’s approval for everything he did, constantly craving her validation to feel worthy and loved.
This pattern then carries over to his adult relationships, where he looks for that same level of reassurance.
5) He struggles with self-esteem and low confidence
Here’s what you need to know: Your partner’s mommy issues could come from past experiences with his mother that left him feeling inadequate or unworthy.
For example, his Mom might have put him down all the time, favorited his sibling over him, or neglected him.
These experiences can take a toll on his self-esteem, making it hard for him to recognize his own value and believe in himself.
If the man you’re dating struggles with his self-esteem, he might:
- Frequently question his abilities and decisions
- Seek reassurance from others to validate his choices
- Often put himself down and underestimate his strengths and accomplishments
- Sabotage opportunities and relationships for fear of being rejected
Self-esteem takes time and patience to build. So, let your man know that he is valued and appreciated for who he is.
And while you’re at it, take the time to celebrate his strengths and achievements and help him challenge his negative self-perceptions.
6) He has a fear of abandonment
Another deep-rooted fear that could stem from his early years with his mother is the fear of abandonment.
He may have felt neglected, abandoned, or unable to meet his mother’s expectations.
So in his mind, he believes he’ll be left by anyone he dates. That includes you.
This fear can give rise to behaviors such as clinginess and possessiveness.
He might also resort to the following to keep you under his reigns …
7) He tries to control you
When you’re dating a man who fears you’ll abandon him, he might try to control you. That’s so his fear of losing you doesn’t come true.
He’ll consistently make decisions without asking you first. Or he’ll dictate what you should wear or how you should behave when you’re out and about.
He may even try to isolate you from your friends and family so that he can keep tabs on you at all times.
Another tactic he might also resort to is manipulation.
For instance, he’ll guilt-trip you into doing what he wants you to do. Or he’ll take advantage of your vulnerabilities to lower your self-esteem. That way, he can control you more effectively.
8) He doesn’t accept responsibility
Is your partner constantly finding ways to avoid taking responsibility for their actions? Do they often make excuses or shift blame onto others?
Well, another telltale sign of a mommy’s boy is their tendency to escape responsibility whenever possible.
It’s not uncommon for these individuals to have grown up with their mothers always taking care of their needs and making excuses for their behavior.
As a result, the man you’re dating may have never learned to fully accept responsibility for his actions.
Instead, he avoids accountability, just as he did when he was young, and his Mom would swoop in to save the day.
He might do this by frequently dodging conversations about serious matters or shifting the blame onto others so he doesn’t have to look inwardly at himself.
How to deal with a man with mommy issues
Dealing with a man with mommy issues presents unique challenges in a relationship.
However, with understanding, patience, and effective communication, you can navigate these difficulties and foster a healthy and fulfilling connection.
Here are some pointers to help you.
Practice empathy and understanding
Recognize that your partner’s mommy issues come from past experiences and emotional wounds.
So, try to approach the subject with empathy and understand his perspective. And do so without being critical or judgment.
Encourage open communication
Encourage your partner to open up about their fears and insecurities related to their mommy issues. Again, try to take judgment out of the equation here.
Set healthy boundaries
Establish clear boundaries in the relationship to protect your and your partner’s emotional well-being. And communicate your own needs and expectations while respecting your partner’s boundaries.
Have patience and compassion
Understand that healing from mommy issues takes time. Be patient with your partner and show compassion as they work through their emotional journey.
Remember, navigating mommy issues requires commitment and understanding from both partners.
By fostering a supportive and nurturing environment, you can help your partner address their mommy issues, heal, and cultivate a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.