11 reasons why unrequited love is so common in the modern age

In many of our favorite movies, songs, and literature, unrequited love is a common theme.

Despite the crush being one-sided, the person in love continues to have feelings for the other person and suffers greatly…

So why is unrequited love so common today?

Here are 11 reasons why unrequited love is so common in the modern age:

1) People place too much value on physical attraction

While physical attraction is important in a relationship, way too much emphasis is placed on it.

People who’ve experienced unrequited love often have feelings for someone they have nothing in common with. What they’re doing is trying to make a connection based on physical attraction.

Physical attraction is important, but it shouldn’t be the only thing driving your feelings!

2) We’re constantly bombarded with unrealistic expectations of what love should be like

Love is supposed to be like a Disney movie, right? Wrong.

Love is supposed to be whatever you make it.

Unfortunately, many people have been raised believing that love will be just like their favorite movie or TV show.

They expect their significant other to be their soulmate, their one true love, even though they’ve only been dating for a few months.

The thing is that unrequited love is often the result of people’s unrealistically high expectations of what love should be like.

As Justin Brown (founder of Ideapod) says in this very insightful video below, we can wallow in the pain and “tell ourselves the story that we just love someone so deeply if only they could love us back in the same way” or, we “grab hold of the courage to start opening ourselves up to loving someone new”.

YouTube video

It takes courage to move on because there’s a lot of fear about being rejected again – and rejection hurts.

3) People are constantly bombarded with media

The media has a lot of power.

People use it to spread their message and show the world what life should be like.

Unfortunately, the media doesn’t always show the realistic side of relationships or love.

It shows the perfect smiling couple who are always holding hands and who look like they haven’t a care in the world. When people constantly see this image of love, they often try to make their own relationships fit that mold.

It’s sometimes not until they’ve been in a relationship for years that they finally realize they aren’t supposed to be the perfect couple.

4) Some people like the idea of unrequited love more than real love

Sometimes, hanging on to unrequited love can be easier than being in a real relationship.

Let me explain:

When you have feelings for someone who doesn’t have them back, it can feel like you’re not really risking anything.

You’re just daydreaming and imagining what could be. When you’re actually in a relationship, you have to make real sacrifices and deal with real problems. You have to deal with real rejection.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and experience a real relationship with someone who loves you back. Sure, there’s a lot to lose, but there’s also so much to gain!

5) What would a relationship coach say?

While the reasons in this article will help you deal with unrequited love, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like helping you move on from someone who doesn’t love you back and finding love again. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.

Why do I recommend them?

Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.

I was blown away by how genuine, understanding and professional they were.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to get started.

6) People tend to idealize their crushes when they have feelings for them but are not reciprocated

We’ve all experienced having a crush on someone who doesn’t return our feelings. These are usually people who are “out of our leagues”, such as a person with a higher social status, someone who is already in a relationship, or someone who is just not interested in us.

We hold these people up as perfect and flawless in every way, while not accepting any of their faults.

It is as if they are not a real person, but a fantasy.

7) The thrill of unrequited love is common in teen romances

Here is one is for any teens reading this:

The intensity of young love makes it likely that you’ll be involved in an unrequited romance or two at some point in your life.

The feelings of infatuation that come along with a new relationship can sometimes make you mistake love for something more.

When the other person isn’t as enamoured with you as you are with them, they may not be receptive to your feelings, which makes unrequited love a common occurrence in teenage romances.

8) People settle because they don’t want to be alone

This is especially common among older people.

Some people who are in a one-sided relationship choose to stay single because they’re not willing to give up their feelings for the other person.

They don’t want to be alone, so they stay in this toxic situation. They stay in a situation where they aren’t happy and they aren’t getting their needs met.

9) It’s human nature to want what we can’t have

Humans have a natural instinct to want what they can’t have, so if someone does not want us, it just makes us want them more.

We want what we can’t have because it reminds us that we are alive and that we have the ability to feel strong emotions.

If someone is constantly chasing you and begging you to be with them, those feelings of joy and passion will fade.

But if a person doesn’t even give you a chance, those feelings are going to build and build until they are uncontrollable.

10) The rise of social media and apps

Apps like Tinder and Bumble make it way too easy to swipe right on someone, even if you don’t know them very well or at all.

Because of that, you may find yourself falling in love with someone who you don’t even know.

Because of the rise of social media, it can be easy to fall in love with someone from your feed or someone with whom you have never even met in real life.

You could spend weeks or months obsessing over someone you have never met in person, and you might not find out that your feelings are unrequited until you meet up in person.

11) Societal pressures to find “the one” and marry

In the modern age, people are pressured to find “the one” and get married.

People are expected to find their soulmates, settle down, and live happily ever after. When people haven’t found “the one” by a certain age, they feel a lot of pressure to settle down with someone who isn’t their soulmate.

When you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t “the one,” it can definitely lead to feelings of unrequited love.

There are many reasons why unrequited love is so common in the modern age. From people placing too much emphasis on physical attraction, to being bad at recognizing chemistry, there are many reasons why unrequited love is so common.

However, that doesn’t mean you should let this unfortunate situation control your life. Take action and do something about it!

Tips on getting over unrequited love

It feels like the world has ended when you fall in love with someone who does not feel the same way about you.

The first reaction that most people have to this situation is to shut themselves off from the world and avoid all interactions with other people.

However, keeping yourself locked up at home or away from other people will not help you move on from your unrequited love.

It is essential that you find ways to get over unrequited love as fast as possible so that you can resume a normal life again.

Keeping your feelings hidden inside is unhealthy and may lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

Let’s see how you can get over unrequitable love fast:

1) Exercise and do activities you enjoy

When you experience unrequited love, you may start to feel lethargic and low on energy. This is because your body is trying to conserve as much energy as possible so that you can continue to fight off the love that you feel for the person who does not love you back.

Exercising and doing activities that you love are great ways to release your energy and reduce the feelings of lethargy.

But wait there’s more. When you are exercising and enjoying yourself at the same time, you won’t have time to think about your unrequited love and you’ll be able to keep a clear mind.

2) Vent to a friend who has been through the same thing

Unrequited love can be a very lonely feeling, especially if you are keeping your feelings hidden away from family and friends.

It’s important that you find someone who has been through the same thing as you so that you can relate to them and know that you are not the only one going through this.

See if you can talk to a friend that has had a similar experience.

In my experience, if you’re having a really hard time dealing with unrequited love, talking to a therapist about your situation can really do wonders and help you feel better.

3) Write in a journal

Writing in a journal is a great way to let out your emotions and get them off your chest.

When you are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, you are likely to feel stressed and frustrated.

Journaling is a great way to release all of these negative emotions and make you feel a lot better.

You can write as much as you want in your journal and get all of your emotions out on paper.

You can also use your journal to write about what led you to fall in love with this person in the first place. Journaling can help you understand your feelings better and help you move on from unrequited love much faster.

4) Find solace in nature

When you are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, you may feel like you are completely alone in this world.

You may also feel like you have nothing to look forward to in the future. However, nature is a great way to find solace and make you feel a lot better.

Nature is a beautiful thing that can calm your nerves and make you feel a lot less stressed.

The great thing about nature is that it is available to everyone and can be accessed by anyone. You can commune with nature by going on a walk or sitting outside on a bench.

5) Remind yourself that this is only a temporary situation

Finally, when you are experiencing unrequited love, you may start to believe that this is a permanent situation.

You may even start to feel that you are not worthy of being loved by anyone.

However, it is important that you remind yourself that this situation is only temporary.

Now, you may not know how long it will take to get over unrequited love, but you need to remind yourself that this is only temporary and that you will find love soon.

This positive outlook will help you to cope with the situation more easily and find ways to get over unrequited love faster.


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Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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