11 undeniable signs you’re more emotionally intelligent than the average person, according to science

Most people struggle with managing stress, handling difficult conversations, or going through conflicts in their personal or professional relationships.

They can’t seem to understand their own emotions, let alone the emotions of those around them. 

On the other side, there are people who communicate effectively, build strong bonds with others, and make great decisions that keep them on the best possible path in life. 

So, let’s see which camp you belong to. Here are the undeniable signs you’re more emotionally intelligent than the average person.

1) You trust your gut but also think things through

Research in neuroscience suggests that our gut instincts are often based on subtle cues and patterns that our subconscious mind picks up on. 

However, studies also show that combining this intuition with logical reasoning leads to more accurate decision-making.

Let’s say you’re facing a big decision: to take that job offer or not. Your gut is telling you one thing, but your brain is doing its own thing, weighing up all the options. 

So, instead of just flipping a coin or going with your gut feeling alone, you take a moment to listen to both. 

You trust that little voice inside, but you also give your brain a chance to chime in with some logic. Ultimately, you have a debate in your head, and you’re the judge who gets to make the final call.

2) You’re lifting others up and making them feel valued

Research highlights the importance of positive reinforcement in social interactions. When you lift others up and make them feel valued, you’re boosting their mood in the moment but also strengthening your bond with them.

Imagine your friend’s feeling down because they flunked a test. You swoop in with words of encouragement, reminding them how smart and capable they are. 

Maybe you crack a joke or bring them their favorite snack. This is a simple example of emotional intelligence that we often take for granted. 

But as you grow older, you recognize that that’s not as common as you thought. 

3) You defuse tense situations using diplomacy and empathy

Research in negotiation and dispute resolution highlights the effectiveness of collaborative problem-solving in achieving win-win results. 

So, instead of taking sides or advocating for one party’s interests over another, skilled mediators focus on finding solutions that address the underlying needs and everyone’s interests.

That’s why when the tension’s thicker than grandma’s gravy, you’re the one who’s there to save the day. You’re good at seeing both sides of the story and finding common ground. 

You don’t want to take sides. You want to find solutions that leave everyone feeling heard and respected.

4) You live by a strong set of values and principles

You have your own set of rules that you live by, and you don’t stray from them. People can count on you to do the right thing, even when it’s tough.

You don’t just talk the talk; you walk the walk.

From standing up for what you believe in and treating others with respect to doing the right thing even when no one’s watching, your values are the backbone of who you are. 

And when you live by them, you not only feel more confident and fulfilled, but you also earn the trust and respect of those around you.

5) You’re open to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences

Openness to experience is one of the Big Five personality traits, which are widely studied in psychology. 

Studies consistently show that open people tend to be more curious, imaginative, and receptive to new ideas and experiences. 

They’re more likely to seek out unknown and diverse experiences, leading to greater creativity, adaptability, and intellectual engagement.

Does that sound like you? Are you stuck in your ways, or are you always open to hearing different points of view and trying new experiences? 

6) You know when to say no and when to set boundaries

things emotionally intelligent people never say in an argument 11 undeniable signs you're more emotionally intelligent than the average person, according to science

On the other hand, you need to know when to say “no.” Think of it like having a line drawn in the sand.

That’s why if you’re more emotionally intelligent than the average person, you’re good at putting your foot down when you need to. 

You don’t let people walk all over you, but you also know when to lend a hand. You know when to step in and when to take a step back, balancing kindness with self-respect.

7) You express appreciation to others

Studies in positive psychology have shown that expressing gratitude and appreciation has a big impact on mental health

You don’t forget to show appreciation for the people who matter to you. Whether it’s a quick “thanks” or a big hug, you make sure they know they’re valued.

For example, when someone holds the door for you or picks up the tab at lunch, you make sure to show your gratitude in a way that really hits home. 

Maybe you buy them a coffee the next day or leave a sticky note on their desk saying how awesome they are. It’s those little gestures that make all the difference.

8) You’re a rock for others in times of need

Scientifically speaking, being the go-to person for others in times of need and displaying empathy and active listening skills contribute to emotional intelligence.

When someone’s having a rough time, you’re the first person they call. You’re a good listener and always know how to make them feel better.

Sounds right? 

9) You take ownership of your actions and their consequences

Research in psychology also emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in emotional intelligence. 

When you take ownership of your actions, you demonstrate a high level of self-awareness by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses.

So, when you mess up, you don’t try to blame others or pretend it didn’t happen. You take responsibility for your actions and try to make things right. 

For example, you made a mistake at work, and instead of trying to cover it up or shift the blame, you fess up and take responsibility. 

You admit your mistake and apologize, showing that you’re not afraid to own up to your actions, even when they’re less than perfect.

10) You’re not afraid to show your vulnerable side

And if you’re okay with letting people see the real you, even if it means showing your vulnerabilities, you’re more emotionally intelligent than the average Joe. It’s all part of being honest and genuine.

Research in psychology suggests that authenticity is linked to greater psychological well-being and stronger relationships. 

By being genuine and transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, you encourage genuine connections with others based on mutual trust and understanding.

11) You have a clear sense of purpose and meaning in life

And lastly, you’ve got a clear idea of what matters most to you in life. Whether it’s your family, your passions, or your goals, you know what gives your life meaning and purpose.

At the same time, you’re not content with just staying the same. You’re always looking for ways to grow and improve by learning new skills or working on yourself. One of your main goals is to be the best version of you!

Final thoughts

Embracing qualities like empathy, authenticity, setting boundaries, and expressing gratitude are not just nice gestures – they’re key components of emotional intelligence and healthy relationships.

So, if you’re already doing most of the things I mentioned above, you’re more emotionally intelligent than the average person. 

Picture of Adrian Volenik

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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