11 undeniable signs you’re a deep thinker in a superficial world

Do you get the feeling that you think and feel more deeply than most people?

You’re not alone… Although, I know it can sometimes feel like you are. 

As someone who always had trouble fitting into the superficiality I felt around me, I’ve dealt with feeling like I don’t belong for most of my life. 

As a result, I felt alone, misunderstood, and even internalized a lot of shame around not being like everyone else. 

But after learning to accept myself and follow my path boldly, I am now so glad to be who I am. 

I also have collected a few nuggets of wisdom to share with others who relate. 

So here’s the 11 undeniable signs you’re a deep thinker in a superficial world:

1) You’re not good at small talk

Do you struggle to keep a conversation going when it feels meaningless?

This is the first sign that you’re a deep thinker in a superficial world

Having a desire to engage in conversations that delve into more meaningful topics is a sure sign that you have a profound mind. 

You want to explore your feelings, learn new knowledge, and share ideas beyond the day-to-day, meaningless things like: trends, the weather, or what other people are doing. 

You believe that every person and every conversation has the potential to bring new thoughts and perspectives, and you’re easily bored when they don’t. 

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. 

There are many of us out there just like you, who just can’t pretend to be interested in the trivial things. 

Sometimes, it makes you look aloof and antisocial because you just can’t think of what to add to a conversation that isn’t going anywhere. 

I get it. 

But what needs to change isn’t you, it’s your environment.

2) You often don’t feel like you belong 

As well as not feeling like you can fit into a conversation, you just don’t feel like you fit in… in general. 

In parties and social situations, you might feel like a bit of an outcast. 

People around you might seem more interested in taking pictures, socializing over superficial things, or chatting about trivial matters, but you just aren’t interested. 

You’d much rather be reading a book, practicing a hobby, or spending precious time with a loved one.  

You might even feel like people often overlook you because they don’t get why you aren’t engaging in the things they’re into. 

You feel like there’s a whole world inside of you, that you’ve love to be able to share with someone, if only they’d ask… but most people never do. 

Just know that it’s okay. 

Savor this time you have to explore what makes you unique, and it will eventually lead you to finding the right people.

For me, it wasn’t until my late twenties that I really started finding my crowd.

There were definitely many moments before then that had me wondering if I would never find them, but I did. 

Until then, keep finding enjoyment in your solitude:

3) You enjoy being alone

Although you might crave to have deeper connections, you also love your time alone

This is because you are allowed to be your complete self, to explore all of your greatest interests uninterrupted when you’re alone. 

My greatest growths, strengths, and traits came from my very solitary younger years. 

Maybe you can relate to that. 

Just know that they might not last forever. 

Later in life, you might have to work a lot, or attend to a partner and children – so cherish any solitary time while you have it. 

4) You tend to question everything

You’re extremely curious about anything and everything. 

That includes knowledge about random topics, yours or others’ beliefs, and even philosophical questioning on life

Existential questions about the meaning of life, the nature of reality, and the human condition occupy your mind more than others might imagine.

You’re not content with accepting things at face value. Instead, you dig deeper, question assumptions, and seek to understand the “why” behind everything.

Sometimes, you might feel judged for being pretentious. 

Don’t pay that any mind – you’re asking the right questions that can lead you to create your dream life that aligns with you. 

Because it all starts with questioning what it is that you truly want. What life means to you. 

In other words, you’re ultimately driven to a sense of purpose:

5) You’re driven by purpose

Deep thinkers often have a strong sense of purpose

You might be motivated by a desire to make a meaningful impact in the world and contribute to positive change.

You want your life to be one of substance, dedicated to a greater mission beyond yourself. 

For example, you might be committed to a social cause, or to improving the lives of others, or to creativity. 

Your purpose is something that isn’t always highly financially or socially rewarded. But, you feel that it is truly needed in the world. 

6) You’re empathetic

phrases lack of empathy 11 undeniable signs you're a deep thinker in a superficial world

Being a deep thinker means you’re probably connected to your feelings.

This makes you highly empathetic to others’ feelings. 

You can easily put yourself in their shoes, understand their emotions, and offer compassionate support. 

You’re attuned to the intricacies of human nature.

Unfortunately, this quality isn’t always appreciated or received.

But don’t let that stop you from offering compassion. 

It’s an incredibly valuable, special trait worth nurturing. 

7) You understand nuance

Complexity and nuance doesn’t intimidate you. 

Unlike many superficial thinkers, you don’t see the world in black and white

You understand that perspectives and outlooks can be intricate and depend on the many experiences that a person can have, and you’re not swayed by divisive opinions.

Instead, you seek out information for yourself and use them to form your own opinions.

8) You feel connected to the arts

Art, literature, music, and other creative forms of expression matter to you.


Because these are the rawest forms of human expression. 

They help us to understand our purpose, our feelings, and our humanity more deeply. 

They offer you new perspectives and ideas, and make you feel more connected to humanity at large. 

Even more so, you might even be drawn to create your own art for your sense of self-expression!

This is a natural trait of a deep thinker

9) You value authenticity

Authenticity is highly valuable to you, because it’s so rare to find. 

You’d much rather be surrounded by a few authentic connections than many shallow acquaintances.

Moreover, you skip the false pleasantries and strive to always be authentic to those around you. 

People who understand you feel at ease around you… but you tend to make those who are superficial quite uncomfortable!

10) You practice self-reflection

You regularly review your thoughts, actions, and experiences, aiming to gain deeper insights into your own life and the world around you.

You don’t even have to try to – you just do it naturally. 

There’s always more to learn by reflecting on your inner world, and you know this. 

Because of this trait, you’re constantly growing and evolving while many others seem to be happy staying the same. 

While many fear change, deep thinkers embrace it as an opportunity for growth and transformation. 

You understand that evolution is a natural part of life, and you’re not afraid of taking that change into your own hands, by engaging in self-reflection.

11) You cherish deep connections

Rather than many surface level friendships, you have few very close friends. 

You invest time and energy in building meaningful connections with people who share your values and interests, and whom you can trust. 

Reciprocation matters to you in a connection. You give your time to those who are worthy of it – people who inspire, motivate, and support you. 

Final thoughts

As you navigate a superficial world with a deep mind and an open heart, remember that you are not alone. 

There are many others like you, seeking meaning and depth in a world that often dances on the surface. 

Even if it doesn’t always feel like there are!

Like you, they’re probably enjoying their time alone. 

And until you find them, remember that your unique qualities light up the way to a life of substance, authenticity, and purpose. 

Your deep-thinking nature is a gift to be celebrated and shared, as it has the power to inspire those around you to explore the substance and meaning of their own lives.

Although it can feel lonely at times, the plus side is there is so much fulfilment, joy, and connection to be found in the path of being a deep thinker. 

You truly make this world an interesting and worthwhile place to be. 

Picture of Shela Riva

Shela Riva

Shela Riva is a Thai-Swiss freelance writer, artist, energy mentor and co-creator of Jaiyen Eco Resort, a creative retreat space in Thailand. She is deeply passionate about our incredible ability to transform and is dedicated to helping each person realize the power within themselves, whether through her writing, empowering custom art pieces, one-on-one work or in-person retreats.

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