When you haven’t said those three important words yet, you might be wondering if this guy does love you but is afraid to say it.
If you’ve never been in a relationship before, falling in love can feel scary and overwhelming.
If you have experienced love, the fear of it ending badly again can be even worse!
Lots of people fear falling in love – sometimes from past heartbreaks and sometimes just because of the upbringing they’ve had.
So it’s definitely possible that he does love you, he’s just afraid of opening his heart completely!
The good news is that his actions should give him away. If he loves you but is scared to fall for you, here are 10 things he might do!
1) He wants to see you all the time
First up, a guy in love will want to spend time with you. He’ll want to see you all the time and he’ll constantly arrange dates to see you.
These dates won’t be late-night sleepovers organized in the early hours, either…
They’ll be proper, genuine dates.
It’ll be time you spend together during the day or evening outside the house – eating dinner, watching movies, or doing anything else you both enjoy.
2) He consistently messages you
Another sign a guy is totally into you if he talks to you consistently!
He might not text you all the time. He might not call you every single night. But his messages to you will be consistent.
This means he won’t go a week without responding to your texts. He won’t go days without messaging you suddenly, after he’s messaging you daily beforehand.
When a guy loves you, he’ll actually want to talk to you. So his texting will be frequent and consistent – and he’ll do it whenever he can!
3) He’s thoughtful in how he treats you
When a guy is in love with you, he’ll treat you right! He’ll deeply care about you and it’ll show in the way he thinks about you.
He won’t be careless with your feelings or dismissive about your general safety.
He’ll think about you often, he’ll care about how you feel, and he’ll want to make sure you’re OK. This is especially true if you’re traveling or going out late by yourself!
4) He’s exclusive in dating you
Provided this is a typical monogamous relationship you’re in, a guy who’s in love with you, even one who’s afraid, will only be dating you right now.
You’ll be exclusive – and he won’t be messaging, dating, sleeping around, or even swiping with anyone else!
Why? Because when a guy actually cares about you, you’re the only person he’s into. So he won’t even want to date other people.
He might be scared of falling for you, but he won’t continue his other relations or search for someone else to fall for instead.
If he does this, he might not be as into you as you think…
5) He needs reassurance often
When a guy is in love but afraid of getting hurt, he’ll likely need a lot more reassurance from you.
To ease his worries, he’ll want to know that you care just as much as he does.
So he might seek a lot of reassurance from you. Like asking if you’re having a good time, whether you actually wanted to come on this date, or even if you still like him.
He might fish for compliments every so often and hang onto the ones you give him (repeating them over and over in jest!).
This kind of behavior can also indicate that he has an anxious attachment style, which is when he only feels as safe as his last interaction with you.
6) He’s been hurt in the past
If a guy loves you but is afraid to admit it, he might’ve been deeply hurt in the past.
Most of us carry some hurt from our past relationships. After all, getting your heart broken is one of the deepest emotional pains you can experience!
He might’ve been cheated on in the past or gone through a really, really messy breakup.
Some guys just have a lot of fear of love that stems from their upbringing, too.
Just because a guy is in love with you, his past fears won’t instantly disappear. He might still need to work hard to get past them.
This might be why you’re feeling the way you are, like he loves you but he’s holding back.
7) He holds back on opening up to you
Falling in love requires vulnerability. Catching feelings for someone else opens you up to rejection.
Of course, it also opens you up to so much love, compassion, and deep, genuine happiness, too!
But some guys get guarded when they fall in love. They know they’re at risk of being hurt, and they can’t see how the positives outweigh the negatives.
Just by having feelings for you, they’re being vulnerable. Opening up to you can feel like an even bigger way for them to get hurt by you.
So, he might hold back on sharing certain things with you. Hopefully, he’ll share some things with you, and he’ll gradually share more the longer you’re together.
If he doesn’t, this can lead to a one-sided relationship – where you share deep and personal things with him but he doesn’t do the same with you.
8) He’s hesitant to suggest certain things
Certain things are expected in a relationship after a certain period. Like meeting the family and going on double dates with close friends.
But these are big deals. They suggest a seriousness to the relationship and are a major sign that you’re both falling in love.
The thing is, when a guy is afraid of falling for you, he’ll be hesitant to suggest these types of things.
He might bring up the idea of meeting his family casually, but quickly change the subject. Or he might drop subtle hints to see your reaction.
Or, of course, he might avoid these kinds of subjects entirely!
This is particularly obvious if he always brushes off conversations about living together, getting married, or starting a family together.
9) He withdraws occasionally after time together
Ever get the feeling your man is running a little hot and cold with you?
You’ll have a great weekend together baring all. Then he goes home and doesn’t message you for hours. You try to call him that evening and he says he’s busy.
A guy who does things like this, or makes you feel this way, is probably withdrawing a little bit.
Why? It’s usually because he’s falling hard for you and needs some time to think things through. His feelings for you could be triggering all kinds of reactions in him – like fear, anxiety, and a lack of safety – to name a few.
So, he needs space to calm down and process his emotions, before reaching back out again.
Just beware! This behavior could be a sign that he’s an avoidant.
If you want to keep dating him, it’s probably worth a research into what that means for you long-term – especially if you have an anxious attachment style.
10) He alludes to being in love, but never says those three words
What’s the final sign that your man is totally in love with you?
He’ll constantly allude to being in love with you – but never says those three important words (it’s I love you, if you didn’t clock!).
Some men who fear rejection like to test the waters before diving in.
Instead of coming out and saying he loves you as soon as he feels it, he’ll say it in other words, like:
- You mean so much to me
- You make me so happy
- I care about you a lot
- I like everything about you
- I need you to take care of yourself
- I’m falling for you
These are all roundabout ways of saying he loves you, without actually having to face his fear and say the words out loud!
Final thoughts
Just because a guy loves you, that doesn’t mean he’s “the one”. It also doesn’t mean you should hold hope that he’s going to face his fear and commit to you fully one day!
I’ve been there before in a relationship with a guy who loved me, but was always afraid of getting hurt. For years (and years and years!), he had one foot out of the door – and that never changed.
Because if a guy wants to change, he has to want to do it. You can’t make him do it.
Yet not all stories are like mine. Sometimes, you need to just give him time or show him how much you care to give him the courage to let go!
But if you’re already doing this and he isn’t ever reciprocating, only you know how long you’re willing to wait for things to change…
