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My twin flame shut me out so I did these 10 things

Have you finally found the twin flame of your dreams?

We can imagine how ecstatic you must feel and how much you want to spend every single second with your other half.

But what do you do if he doesn’t feel the same way? Even worse, what if he deliberately shuts you out?

There is no easy way to deal with this situation, but you can definitely start with these 10 things:

1) Resist the urge to panic

The first thing that you should do is not panic!

Take this time to breathe deeply. Relax any tension in your body and let your mind go blank.

After slowing down, remind yourself that no matter what happens, you are perfectly whole on your own. You do not need another person to save or complete you.

It is not the end of the world just because your twin flame is shutting you out for now. Everything is going to be okay.

Before anything else, you want to approach the situation as calmly as possible. The last thing you want is for you to react emotionally without giving much thought to your actions. This may push away your twin flame even more and you don’t want that.

2) Deal with your emotions in a healthy way

It’s expected that you’re going to be feeling a lot of intense and overwhelming emotions in situations like this. It may be extremely frustrating when your twin flame shuts you out and leaves you hanging.

But you have to understand how you can handle these deep emotions in a healthy way. You can’t just let yourself be controlled by your emotions. You have to learn how to manage them.

It may not be the easiest thing in the world, but it is certainly doable with the right steps. Here are a few tips:

First, you have to be aware of the potential impact of your emotions. Take a trip down memory lane and look back on how you’ve handled your emotions in the past.

Do you tend to immediately lash out when you feel threatened? Or do you try to repress these emotions in an unhealthy way? This kind of self-awareness is necessary so you can think of concrete actions steps in order to improve.

You can also channel your emotions in positive ways. Try exercising more regularly or taking up a new hobby. Express your feelings through music or art and see if it helps you. You can also open up to a friend who is willing to listen.

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Overall, you have to be cautious about how you spend your energy and emotions.

3) Give your twin flame some personal space

As difficult as it may be, consider taking a step back from your relationship first. If you constantly force your partner to interact, it might make him/her withdraw even more.

Creating space between you and your twin flame may give him the time that he needs to properly assess how he feels about the relationship.

But the space isn’t just for your twin flame. During this period, take the time to also evaluate your relationship objectively. Reflect if there are any past events that could have triggered your current circumstances.

Also, try to be empathetic with your twin flame. Out of everyone else, you’re the one who can truly understand your partner on a deeper level. Is he withdrawing from you as a defense mechanism?

What are his deep concerns and fears about your relationship? Attempt to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and seek out new perspectives.

But while you’re doing this, make sure that you’re not overthinking your relationship too much. There comes a time that you have to stop obsessing over what went wrong and instead just shift your attention to other activities (more on this later).

4) Be kind to yourself

We understand that this can be a very painful experience to go through. But you shouldn’t add further to this heartache by being hard on yourself.

Recognize that this may be a very hard battle between you and your inner critic.

But as you struggle with this, remember to treat yourself the way you would treat others. How would you console a friend if they need help on a similar issue? You would try to be very caring and considerate of your friend’s feelings.

We’re pretty sure that you wouldn’t blame her for things that are out of her control. In the same way that you are kind to your friends, make sure to also show the same kind of compassion to yourself.

Once your inner critic starts creeping in, recite this mantra: “I did my best given the circumstances. Relationships are a two-way street and I can only do so much.” You have to constantly remind yourself of this truth. You are responsible for silencing your inner critic.

Consider that the root cause may not even be about you or anything you did necessarily. Maybe your twin flame just needs a little more time to process his/her own issues.

In all of this, don’t forget that you don’t have to keep looking for validation from your twin flame. Only you can decide if you’re worthy and valuable on your own. There can be great joy and peace in enjoying your own company.

If ever you have made any mistakes, you should also learn to forgive yourself. Accept that these experiences are part of being human. Mistakes are simply unavoidable. What’s important is that you can rise up from these and become a better person.

5) Focus on your own goals

This is the time to work on yourself! You shouldn’t focus all your attention on your twin flame relationship while overlooking your own needs and desires.

Start by thinking about your personal dreams and goals. How do you see yourself ten years from now? What is your ideal daily routine?

Think about your goals in terms of all the different aspects of your life — personal, social, career, financial, emotional, and so on.

After being specific on this, you’d want to make a detailed plan on how you can specifically achieve these goals. Include short-term milestones that could help you accomplish your overarching objective.

You can also share your dreams with your family and friends. This can help keep you accountable especially during times that you feel unmotivated.

Once you get started on making your dreams a reality, make sure to celebrate all your wins. Yes, we’re also talking about the little achievements you’ll make along the way and not just the big and flashy ones.

But be appreciative of your losses as well. These serve to redirect you on the path that is truly meant for you. There is no shame in experiencing delays and setbacks.

And last but not the least, do things that you genuinely love. Life is too short to spend on things that don’t bring you real joy and fulfillment.

6) Heal from your past hurts and bitterness

Unchecked trauma and baggage can bring about many complications in new relationships. That is why you should work on healing from these past hurts first so you can finally move forward.

The first step is to acknowledge any negative emotions that you may be feeling towards events or people from your past. This is the only way that you can actually start the process of healing.

After admitting what you’re feeling, actively try to overcome your past hurts.

This may mean talking to the person with who you have issues. Maybe it would give you peace of mind to know his side of the story.

Or it could also mean removing any toxic mindsets that you may still have. Quit entertaining the thought that you are unloved or that you are never enough. Stop replaying these negative thoughts over and over again.

Reconcile broken relationships if you can and begin the process of forgiveness.

Take note that this doesn’t mean you’re justifying another person’s actions. It simply means that you’re letting go of your anger and hurt and that you no longer want to get even with the other person.

7) Respect the timing of everything

You have to accept that there may be a bigger reason why your twin flame is shutting you out right now.

Perhaps this isn’t the right time for a relationship between the two of you. It’s possible that you just met each other too soon.

It may be because you still have a lot of growing to do separately. Maybe there are still places you need to go or people you need to meet before you can be together.

Don’t underestimate the power of great timing. You don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes. Consider that you are being prepared so that you could have a more fulfilling relationship later on.

Cling to the hope that your timelines will align someday. But until then, learn the value of patience.

8) Avoid the comparison trap

It’s never a good idea to compare your relationship to someone else’s. It is not a competition. Other people’s happiness does not affect you in any way because we are on all different journeys.

You have to accept that imperfections are a part of life. Relationships will have ups and downs and that’s perfectly normal and even expected.

Remind yourself that there are no twin flame journeys that are exactly the same. What worked for other relationships may not necessarily work for you and your partner.

There are multiple paths that you can take towards having a mature and fulfilling relationship. There is no standard roadmap to success. You have to discover it on your own terms.

It may be difficult to break this bad habit, especially if you’re so used to it already. But you can’t let this stop you. Once you catch yourself in the act of thinking these negative thoughts, you have to intentionally replace them with good ones.

It’s going to be challenging but eventually, this can also be unlearned.

9) Reconnect with other loved ones

In the process of starting a connection with your twin flame, you may have neglected other important relationships in your life. This is the perfect time to reconnect with those loved ones.

Consider the fact that you may also have other twin flames. Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod, talks about this in this video.

Prioritize these relationships with your close friends and family. Consistently show them how much you value the bond that you have. Spending quality time with them should be on the top of your to-do list.

10) Be positive

At this point, it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But you have to hold on to the hope that your relationship with your twin flame can be restored. Or if this takes a little longer, have faith that all will be well no matter what.

Be enduring and patient. Don’t ignore the fact that great things take time.

Stop dwelling on harmful thoughts that could take away your joy in the present moment. And accept that there are a lot of things that you cannot change.

Practice daily gratitude for all the good things that you do have. Make it a habit to list down your blessings. This may feel unnatural at first, but in the long run, it can really help adjust your thinking and mindset significantly.

The bottom line

After doing all of these things, we hope that your relationship with your twin flame will be restored once again.

But if all else fails, there’s one piece of advice that we want you to remember: you are completely worthy of love and belonging either way.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship with your twin flame or not. Another person cannot be the only source of your happiness and satisfaction.

You can get that kind of validation all on your own by simply believing that you are valuable and worthy just as you are.

Treasure this truth in your heart. Only then can you truly be content and satisfied no matter what comes your way.

Written by Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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